


Deal with the Devil

by TheWhiteWolf2486, Valifecent



Series: Devilish Arrangements [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Chloe is very in denial, Chloe just wants to save her dads life, F/M, John is alive!, Linda is the only sensible person in Lucifer's life, Lucifer Being Lucifer, Lucifer drives like a bat out of hell, Lucifer isn't fond of tiny humans, Lucifer just wants to understand why the Detective is different, POV First Person, Penelope ships it, Slow Burn, What better way to get to know someone than to coerce them into marriage!?, angry Mazikeen, concerned Linda, fallen angels can have water balloon fights too, flowery proposals, switching POV, unsure Lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 58,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWhiteWolf2486/pseuds/TheWhiteWolf2486, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valifecent/pseuds/Valifecent
Summary: When John winds up in the hospital dying from multiple gunshot wounds to the chest Chloe knows there's a way to save him. The only downside is it involves making a deal with a man whom she just recently met, a man who also claims to be the devil. Lucifer doesn't want a devilish IOU, this time he knows what he wants, and Chloe doesn't like it one bit.





	1. The Art of the Deal

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU, in which John Decker is still alive, taking place shortly after S1X01.

_**C. Decker** _

Even the air in this place smelt of sex. I wish I knew why my father was so hell-bent on coming to this damned place; but ever since we ran into the owner, a man who insisted he was the Devil himself, we’d wound up here almost every night for the last three months. My father just couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right here. When the case that Mr. Morningstar was involved in closed, my dad continued looking for something; what that something was I couldn’t be entirely sure, but when my father had a hunch it was usually right. There was a reason he was the most highly regarded Detective in the LAPD, and he’d told me time and time again that the secret was always following your instincts. In the time I’d been following my dad around during his surveillance activities I’d come to agree with him, there was something that was definitely off about Mr. Morningstar. There was the simple fact that the man didn’t exist until five years ago, and tonight was the first night we’d come here that he wasn’t actively making a less-than-legal deal with a very suspicious looking person. No, tonight he was leaning against the bar, drink in hand as he perused the mass of bodies on the dance floor the way a lion might scope out a herd of gazelles, trying to figure out which one would be his next meal. Everyone knew Mr. Morningstar’s reputation, the charismatic, supposedly filthy rich, (and even though I would probably never admit it) incredibly handsome man who claimed that he was the literal, biblical Devil. Satan himself.

As we made our way closer to the bar Mr. Morningstar seemed to almost sense us somehow because suddenly he looked away from the mass of writhing bodies and over towards us. He quickly glanced over my father before his dark eyes settled on me, lingering more than long enough to make my skin crawl uncomfortably. I tried my best not to show the uneasiness he stirred in me as I fixed him with my best icy cop glare. It did nothing to deter him though, he continued to blatantly stare as he brought a cigarette up to mouth, taking a long drag off of it before running his tongue along his upper lip. “Whiskey, neat.” My father ordered a drink at the bar as he slid up next to Mr. Morningstar’s side, finally drawing the man's attention away from me. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon, Detective.” He addressed my father, smoke trailing out of his mouth as he spoke. “What brings you to my part of town?” He finished before taking a sip of his amber-colored drink. 

“Just keeping an eye on some shady figures,” My father replied as a bartender handed him his drink, and he slipped the man a twenty in exchange. “Oh? Is it that chap over there? I mean, who comes to a nightclub dressed in a neon sports polo? It’s quite suspicious if I don’t say so myself,” Mr. Morningstar quipped as he pointed towards one of the many people on the dance floor.

“I was talking about you,” My father replied darkly before taking a long swig of his drink, staring the taller man down with his best interrogation face.

“Right! Because I’m the Devil,” Mr. Morningstar replied almost happily, a large smile spreading across his face before he took another sip of his drink.

“No. Because you’re an impulsive ass who almost cost my daughter her life. I’m going to find out what you’re up to and I’m going to take you down so hard —” 

“John! You said you were only going to be a few minutes,” My mother’s scolding voice cut my father off mid-sentence as she came flouncing over, the deep scowl on her face immediately clueing me into the fact that she must have gotten fed up with how long we left her to wait in the car. I watched her open her mouth, undoubtedly to continue the rant that had barely just begun, but when Mr. Morningstar blew another puff of cigarette smoke from his lips her attention was dragged away from my father and over to the mysterious, dark club owner. A small, flirty smile immediately overtook the scowl she’d be wearing moments ago as she looked the tall man up and down briefly; my mother, although faithful, definitely still enjoyed seeing ‘what goods were on the market’. I rolled my eyes at her reaction to the man. God, Mom. You are just as bad as he is. “Who’s your new friend, sweetheart?” She asked, not even bothering to look over at my father as she addressed him.

“He’s not my friend,” My father growled before downing the contents of his glass, it was obvious that my mother’s new fixation on Mr. Morningstar was only making him that more irritable towards the man. My mother ignored his statement as Mr. Morningstar set his cigarette down in an ashtray and fixed a charming smile on my mom. “Pleasure to meet you, darling. Name’s Lucifer. Morningstar. And you are?” He questioned smoothly as he reached out, taking my mother's hand in his before lifting it to his face and placing a modest kiss on the back of it; as if anything about that man could be modest. 

“Penelope Decker,” My mom giggled like a high schooler as Mr. Morningstar let go of her hand and it drifted back down to her side. It was impossible not to notice the obvious shock that immediately registered on his face just before he lit up like the sun.

“The, Penelope Decker? Queen of 80’s cheese ball sci-fi!” I had never expected that the generally ominous looking man standing before me could sound like an overly excited middle schooler, but I was so very wrong. “Well, Jonathan, why didn’t you tell me your wife was famous?” He questioned, his voice bright and cheery as he looked over at my dad.

“Because we’re not friends,” My father growled his answer before grabbing my mom by her arm and beginning to pull her away. “Come on, we’re leaving.” He ordered as he began to walk off, putting some much-appreciated distance between us and the oddly unnerving club owner.

“Not so fast, Jonathan. I’m not done with you yet,” Mr. Morningstar announced, his voice cold and daunting. My father stopped in his tracks, turning around as he released his grip on my mother's arm and shot the suit-clad man an icy glare. Mr. Morningstar completely ignored the threat in my father's look, sauntering forward and stopping right in front of my mom as he fixed her with one of his almost predatory gazes. “Penelope, darling, tell me, what do you truly desire?” I didn’t know it was possible for his voice to practically drip with honey more than it usually did, but apparently it was very possible, and very unsettling. Despite how uncomfortable it was being so...close to Mr. Morningstar and his perturbing...well, everything; I had to admit I was at least a little curious to figure out what the Hell he thought he was doing as he stared at my mom the same way he’d been looking at me when I walked in, his head tilted ever so slightly as he waited patiently for my mothers’ answer. It was obvious that he was waiting in vain though, of course she wasn’t going to answer. What did he expect? Who answers a question like that?

“I just…want my daughter to…get over her irrational fears and settle down with a nice guy already,” My mother stuttered at first before everything just came right out. Immediately my teeth clenched together, my muscles tensing and my hands balling into fists at my sides as I felt heat beginning to sear under my skin. How dare she say something like that about me! I could understand why she and my father might frown upon my ‘irrational fears’, they thought Dan was Trixie’s father. Plain, safe, Dan. What they didn’t know was that there was a reason I had fears; and although I knew it was wrong of me to snap at her for the ignorance I willingly, and consciously, kept her in, I found myself doing so regardless.

“Excuse me?” I bit out harshly. It was no secret that she wanted me to actually, legitimately, date someone. She always went on and on about how it would be good for Trixie to have a real father figure in her life. Someone who wasn’t so scared of the responsibility of fatherhood that he’d request to be left out of his child’s life as much as possible. But still though, the fact that she would spill that information to a complete stranger outraged me, especially given the circumstances around Trixie’s birth, circumstances I kept from both my parents for a very good reason. My mother seemed dazed, slightly out of it, almost like she didn’t know exactly what she’d just done, or said. Mr. Morningstar, on the other hand, was smiling at me like a dumbstruck child, chuckling quietly before turning his attentions to my father.

“And what about you, hmm? What is it that you desire, Jonathan?” The words dripped from his mouth once more as he fixed my father with that same unnerving gaze, his head tilted slightly more this time as he patiently awaited my father’s answer.

“I want…” My father trailed off hesitantly, almost as though he was struggling to remember the answer to something important.

“Yes?” Mr. Morningstar pressed as he leaned in closer.

“To take you down...I want to destroy you,” My father finished and the club owner burst into laughter. Crumpling over the side of the bar as he tried to catch his breath. I noticed that my father seemed dazed too, just like my mom had been. I had no idea what Mr. Morningstar was doing, but it was completely creepy and I didn’t want any part of it.

“Well, you’ll have to get in line I’m afraid, there’s a pretty long wait list.” He told my father, laughter still tainting his voice as he patted my dad's arm before pushing his way past my parents and sauntering up to me.

“And you, Detective.” He paused to give me a lingering once-over that made my skin crawl. I hated it when men acted like you were nothing more than a sex object. “Tell me, what do you desire? What do you want more than anything else in this life?” I stared at him with absolute bafflement for a few moments. He seriously expected me to tell him ‘what I want more than anything else in this life’? Apparently, whatever he’d pulled on my parents worked, but not with me. I wasn’t about to fall for his little ploy. “Hmm?” He pressed as I remained silent and continued to stare up at him. For a moment I considered just telling him off, but God, I wanted to play him so bad.

I tipped my head back and giggled like a drunk sorority girl before taking one of his coat lapels between my fingers, massaging the soft fabric as I leaned in dangerously close to him. “I want…to drag you off somewhere nice and private…” I whispered breathily as I ran my hands down his chest. 

“Oh, I quite like where this is going.” He chuckled softly as he brought his hands up to rest on my upper arm and lower back. It was his touch that made me pull away, putting a comfortable amount of distance between the two of us.

“So that I can beat some sense into you without having anyone try to stop me,” I finished, dropping my flirty tone and pulling my hands away from him. The look on his face was worth a thousand bucks. I’d one-upped him. Played the player. I’d never seen a more confused or flabbergasted look on a person before. 

“Wait, what?” He asked as his hands fell back to his sides as he stared at me like I was some failed science experiment.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but it’s not working,” I growled before turning around and making my way over to the staircase. My father and mother scrambled after me, and I could hear snippets of their conversation as I pushed my way through the crowd. My father telling my mother about how Lucifer believed himself to be the actual Devil, how he made deals with questionable people almost every night, how he trusted a coiled rattlesnake more than he trusted that man. I paused at the top of the staircase and turned to see Mr. Morningstar staring at me like he had before, this time though he looked curious, and if I didn’t know better, almost respectful. The last I saw of him before I stomped out of his club was him raising his glass to me, almost like a parting salute.

\---***---

The shaking was what woke me up. I bolted upright as the sound of my mother’s sobs hit my ears, her hands on my arms still shaking me. She looked like a mess; smeared make-up, messy hair, rumpled clothes.

“What’s wrong?” I asked immediately as I sat up in my bed, pulling her hands from my arms as I attempted to soothe her.

“The hospital called, it’s your father, they say he’s not going to make it.” She managed to splutter between harsh sobs and gasps for air. Wait. What? No. No, no, no.

“Mom, I need you to take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on,” I explained slowly, forcing my voice to remain steady despite the icy trickle that was quickly spreading through my veins. 

“He was shot,” My mother whimpered between loud sniffling sounds, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I’d been thrown to the ground by a much larger opponent, a sharp stabbing pain resonating through my chest as I struggled to draw in a breath. “In the chest at point blank.” She continued when she managed to find the air to speak between her ragged, gasping sobs. “Twice.” As she added the last broken word to her explanation everything suddenly pieced itself together for me; my dad, shot twice, point blank, the hospital, not gonna make it. My dad was dying in the hospital right now. I let out a jagged breath of air as the stabbing pain in my chest grew so strong it threatened to suffocate me, the ice trickling through my veins had frozen solid, and for a second I swore that my heart stopped beating from the violent onslaught. What would have happened if I was the one who had been assigned night shift today instead of him? Would my dad be fine right now if I had been there with him? Would I be the one drawing what could possibly be my last breaths? The pain I felt faded as I asked myself those questions, a thick numb feeling taking over my body as I drew in a shallow, shuddering breath. 

“They’re giving him blood, and trying to operate,” My mother cried, her body racked with shakes as she continued to weep. I nodded silently at her words as I swallowed thickly, my world was falling apart. But I needed to act strong even if everything inside of me wanted to break down, I couldn’t allow myself to become the crying, shaking mess my mom was. One of us needed to be strong, and it had to be me. “But on the phone, they said that realistically he’s not gonna make it through the night.” She whispered brokenly, but I was too far gone to register her words, too lost in my own memories to process what she’d said. 

Memories of my father taking me to the park when I was five, how he chased me around the playground and I’d run away from ‘the big hairy monster’, screaming at the top of my lungs the whole time. Memories of him dropping me off for my first day at the Hollywood Film and Acting Academy when I was sixteen, the way he walked me up to the door before resting a hand on my shoulder, his words of wisdom to me on that influential day, ‘The career you pick is going to affect you every day for the rest of your life, so make sure you do something you love. This is your life monkey, live it in a way that makes you happy, to Hell with everyone else.’. Memories of my father taking me on ride alongs with him when I was seventeen, how we’d sit in the car at a stakeout for hours while listening to bad talk radio shows, his answer to my question when I asked him why he became a cop, ‘There’s always going to be bad people out there monkey, and they’re always going to try and hurt the good ones. I do what I do so that I can protect those who can’t protect themselves.’, and the way he whispered under his breath, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.’. Memories of him welcoming me onto the police force when I was twenty-three; the way he showed me around the station, clued me into all of the newbie hazing rituals, told me which officers would have my back, and which ones only cared about protecting their own. Memories of the first time he ever held Trixie when she was only a few hours old, the way he smiled down at her tiny, gurgling face, the way he welcomed her into the world with gentle, hushed words.

I’m not sure how long I sat there, lost in the daze of memories from better times while my mom continued to break-down beside me. But when I emerged from the haze I quickly realized what she’d said. One night. If we were lucky then we still had a few hours left before I lost my dad forever. Every second that ticked by was a precious second that I wasted, and if I was going to pull off the plan that popped into my mind I was going to need every second I had. I flew into action immediately after that, jumping out of bed and quickly stripping out of my pajamas before pulling on the outfit I’d left lying on the floor last night. “What are you doing?” My mother’s weak, shaky voice reached my ears as I jammed my feet into my tennis shoes, ignoring the way they scratched against my skin without socks on. 

“We’re going somewhere. Come on,” I ordered, my voice stern as I tied my hair back sloppily. I knew that if I wasn’t a little gruff with my mom at the moment I wouldn’t be able to spur her into action. 

“But what about Trixie?” My mother asked as she stood up from my bed, wrapping her arms around herself almost as though she was cold. My mother was a great woman, but she hadn’t been through the hardships that I had, the world hadn’t made her tough, hadn’t made her realize that if she wanted things to happen she would have to be the one to do it. So I had to push her into action, or pull her along with me in this case.

“She’s asleep, she’ll be fine,” I told her as I grabbed her hand and pulled her along behind me. I swiped the Honda’s keys off the counter and led her out of the house. Locking it up quickly before running to the car. I went through the motions of buckling up, starting the car, and pulling out of the driveway robotically. My mother almost silent beside me, the only sign of her presence was her heavy breathing and occasional sniffle. I was sure I was going to regret what I was doing right now at a later date, but I was desperate, and desperate times called for desperate measures.

I didn’t believe in Heaven or Hell, God or the Devil, Angels or Demons, and I didn’t believe that Mr. Morningstar was any of those things regardless of his claims. But I did know that he had a few tricks up his sleeves, and if there was anyone in this city who could possibly save my father's life, it was him. During the last few months that my father and I had been investigating him on our free time I’d seen him do more than a few inexplicable things, one such instance stuck with me regardless of how I tried to push it away, and it was that same instance that replayed in my mind as I drove to the nightclub. 

_My attention was dragged away from my father as a bouncer pushed his way through the crowded dance floor, his hand resting on the shoulder of a little girl who couldn’t be more than twelve. What is a kid doing here? I made my way up the staircase to higher ground so I could see where the child was being taken, watching her intently as the bouncer made it through the crowd and looked around for a moment, obviously searching for someone. Maybe the kid's mom or dad? I was quickly proven wrong though as the bouncer started moving forward once more, making his way towards an unmistakable man dressed in an expensive suit, a woman clinging to each of his arms. Mr. Morningstar looked up from the blonde to his right and over to the bouncer, his smile immediately fading as his eyes rested on the little girl. He isn’t in the child trafficking business, is he? Mr. Morningstar and the bouncer exchanged a few words, his expressionless mask turning annoyed as he dismissed the women clinging to him and beckoned for the child to take a seat next to him with an obvious huff of breath._

_I watched as the little girl did as she was asked, the bouncer leaving the tall man and the child alone together a moment after that. It was obvious that the two of them were sharing words, and I wished that I wasn’t so far away and that the club wasn't so loud. I wanted to know what they were saying. After a while Lucifer shook his head, and the little girl got up and started tugging on the sleeve of his jacket. I could tell that her mouth was moving quickly, and even from this distance I could see the lights of the club illuminating the wet tracks streaking down her face, she was crying. If anything though Mr. Morningstar’s expression only turned more annoyed as he yanked his arm out of the child’s grasp, his lips moving as he obviously said something. The little girl stood there as still as a statue while he spoke, and time drew on as the two talked. The little girl nodded enthusiastically before, wait, is she bowing to him? Mr. Morningstar dismissed the child a moment later before he turned back to the bar, and I watched as the child made her way towards the staircase with a proud smile on her face. What did I just see?_

_When the child made it to the top of the staircase I stopped her with a kind smile and a gentle hand, “Hey there, sweetheart, where are your parents?”. She looked up at me nervously for a moment, shifting from foot to foot before she focused her gaze on the floor._

_“I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” She replied, her voice just loud enough for me to hear over the sounds of the nightclub around me. I bent down slightly in front of her, immediately earning the little girls full attention as she focused her wide, brown eyes on my face._

_“Well, what if I told you that I’m not a stranger?” I asked gently before pushing the hem of the bottom of my shirt up over the badge strapped to the belt on my jeans. “I’m a police officer,” I continued as the girl's eyes immediately fell on the glittering badge reflecting the lights of the nightclub._

_She reached out a hand and traced it over the golden metal tentatively before her big, brown eyes searched mine once again. “Can you give me a ride home?”  
I smiled at the question, nodding as I stood back up to my full height. “Of course. Come on, let’s get you out of here,” I stated as I led the girl towards the door. As we made our way out of the club and to my car I found out that the girl’s name was Maria Santiago, she was ten, and her mom didn’t know that she’d come here tonight. She broke into her piggy bank and scraped together the change to pay for bus fare from the south-side to downtown hollywood so that she could find Lucifer. At the mention of his name I decided to see what I could get out of the little girl. “So, what were you talking to Lucifer about?” I questioned as I got into my car, buckling up as I looked over at Maria sitting in my passenger seat._

_“I made a deal with him.” She answered simply before obediently clicking her belt into place._

_“A deal?” I questioned skeptically. Why in the world would a ten-year-old girl come to him to make a deal? She simply nodded her affirmation at my question, and I decided to press her for more information at that. “For what?”_

_“My dad,” Maria whispered so quietly that I barely heard her. “He got in an accident at work and he’s been in the hospital ever since. He’s in a coma, the doctors don’t think he’s going to wake up and they’re pulling the plug on him tomorrow because we can’t afford to pay the hospital bills anymore.” Her story came out in a rush and she wiped away a tear that spilled from the corner of her eye before she finished, “So I asked Lucifer to heal him for me.”._

_“Okay then.” I replied softly as I nodded at her words. “And what makes you think that Lucifer can do that?”_

_“He’s the Devil,” Maria answered simply. “The Bible says that the Devil is just a fallen Angel. And Angels can heal things, and perform miracles, and stuff.”_

_“Even if they’re fallen?” I asked curiously and she nodded before speaking up._

_“I think so.” She murmured softly. “He said he’d do it for me, but I’ll have to pay him back in the future.” Seriously? He asked her for something in return? She’s a Goddamn child._

_“What did he ask for?” I questioned gently, my mind immediately conjuring up the worst scenarios._

_“He didn’t say. But I think he’ll probably want my soul. That’s what the Devil always wants in movies, and TV shows, and comics.”_

_“And you’d trade your soul for your dad’s life?” I asked softly as I put the key into the ignition._

_“I’d trade anything for my dad’s life.”_

When I went home late that night I googled Maria’s last name, immediately pulling up several newspaper articles from three months ago that told the heartbreaking story of a construction worker named Michael Santiago. He was crushed under a scaffolding that collapsed, caving in part of his skull and sending him to the ICU for traumatic brain injury. He would have required a brain surgeon to get the fragments of his skull that had penetrated his brain out, but his family that lived in the slums of the south-side couldn’t afford one. The Santiago’s managed to keep him on life support though, until tomorrow as I’d learned. The money had run out, and therefore so had the hospitals good graces. I went to bed that night with a lump in my throat, unable to stop myself from feeling bad for the little girl, her mother, and her brothers. 

The next day I even decided to go see the man that Maria had told me so much about, but when I walked up to the reception desk and asked for admittance to his room the nurse told me he’d woken up, and had been moved downstairs so they could give the open ICU unit to someone else who needed it. When I saw Michael Santiago that day he wasn’t being kept alive with wires and tubes, he was sitting up in bed smiling, laughing, kissing his wife and letting his children crawl all over him. He was alive, and he was healthy. The day after that there’d been an article on it in the LA Times, I’d read over it quickly. The doctors didn’t know what happened to him, they had no scientific explanation for the flawless recovery that surpassed anything a brain surgeon would have been able to do for the man, and his wife told the newspaper that it ‘had to have been the divine intervention of God himself.’. 

I shook the remembered thoughts away as I parked across the street from LUX before turning off the car, pulling my mom out of whatever haze she was lost in. “What are we doing here?” She asked, her voice broken and small as she peered out the window at the brightly lit sign. I was already stepping out of the car when I answered briskly.

“You’ll see. Come on.” Was all I had time to get out before my door closed and I started across the street. Behind me, I registered the sound of the cars’ other door closing before my mom jogged to catch up to me. I pushed my way to the front of the line and flashed my badge at the bouncer who nodded before stepping aside to let us in. I was assaulted at once with the loud pounding music, the bright flashing lights, and the constant smell of intermingled alcohol, sweat, and sex. I ignored my senses as I rushed down the steps of the staircase. “Lucifer!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. I needed to find the smug, stuck up owner ASAP, and this was by far the easiest way. A few dirty glances were shot my way as I pushed through the edges of the crowd searching for a glimpse of a finely tailored suit. “Lucifer Morningstar!” I yelled once again, desperate to find him and strike a deal for my father's’ life, just like Maria. I was just starting to push my way deeper into the crowd when a familiar voice spoke up behind me.

“Now, now, no need to shout. You’re scaring people.” I spun around at breakneck speed. I never thought I’d be relieved to see him standing in front of me, but I’d never been more relieved in my life. He must have seen the desperation in my eyes because his constantly smug smirk lessened as his eyes fixed on my face.

“There you are. We need to make a deal,” I gasped, slightly breathless from all the yelling. 

“Really? You want to make a deal with me? The Devil.” He questioned, before tipping back the rest of the contents of whatever was in his glass. 

“Yes, I do,” I stated, my voice growing stronger and more confident as I closed the distance between us. 

“I just thought…” He trailed off as he glanced away and I realized my mother was just now catching up to us. He looked back over at me before continuing, “You seemed to be above that.”.

“Well, things aren’t always what they seem,” I ground out, already growing impatient with the chit-chat that was going nowhere. 

“No. No, they aren’t,” Mr. Morningstar murmured softly, looking down at the ground as though he was thinking over something important before his brooding look disappeared and he offered me a wide smile. Placing a hand on my back and walking both my mother and I over to an unoccupied booth before taking a seat across from us. “What can I help you two lovely ladies with tonight?” He questioned as he rested his elbows on the table, steepling his fingers together as he stared at us intently.

“My dad is in the hospital, dying, right now. Can you save his life?” I jumped right to the point immediately. There was absolutely no time to waste, if I wanted my dad to live this had to be done quickly, just like Maria’s father, my dad didn’t have any time left on his clock either.

“You want the Adversary to save a human life?” He questioned as his brow furrowed. “That’s not really my shtick.” He elaborated a moment later as all expression fell from his face.

“Can you do it? Yes, or no?” I asked forcefully as I ignored his previous comment. I didn’t have time to question his sanity, all I knew is that there was a reason Maria’s father miraculously healed from a traumatic brain injury overnight right after she’d made a deal with Lucifer. If he could save my dad’s life that would be all that mattered, to Hell with the consequences. If there was a Hell, and the man sitting across from me really was the Devil, then I’d sell my soul in a heartbeat; just like Maria, I’d trade anything for my dad’s life.

“Well, of course I can. I’m the Devil! I mean, I’m only one of the most powerful beings in your universe.” He began to ramble before he stopped, probably realizing that the look on my face meant I didn’t care to hear his anecdotes at the moment.

“How can you save my husband’s life?” My mother surprisingly cut into the conversation, she’d been sitting there silent for so long I’d expected her to just be an onlooker to the whole event. I was too busy looking at her, inspecting her almost hopeless expression to notice Lucifer pulling the slim, silver box out of his interior breast pocket until he put it down on the table.

“With this, of course.” He answered as though it was the most natural thing in the world before opening it. Inside lay one pristine, almost glowing white feather. I stared at in disbelief for a long moment until I realized he was being serious.

“A feather,” I spoke up skeptically as I looked up at him. 

“From an Angel. These are the things of miracles, Detective, I wouldn’t underestimate it if I were you.” He answered quickly before closing the small box. I shook my head, angry at myself more than at him. I didn’t know why I expected something that actually made sense, like advanced medical techniques that only the incredibly rich could afford. But instead I was offered some mythical ‘miracle’ feather. I forced myself to ignore how crazy it all seemed as I reminded myself that at this point what my father needed was a ‘miracle’. So if Mr. Morningstar claimed he was walking around with one in his Goddamned coat pocket, well then, who was I to turn it down?

“Whatever, if you can save his life we'll take the deal,” I growled as I crossed my arms with an angry huff. The whole time trying to cast aside my disbelief in the fact that he wouldn’t be able to do anything as I remembered the Santiago family, he did something with them, he could do something now. As soon as the words crossed my lips Lucifer’s eyes lit up with excitement. Surprisingly, it was my mother, of all people, who stepped in as the voice of reason.

“Chloe. We don’t even know what he wants yet. Don’t agree so quickly.” She scolded me quietly before staring him down. “What do you want? In return for saving my husband’s life?” Her voice was surprisingly even and strong, maybe she was finally starting to pull herself back together. Tense silence that you could cut with a knife grew between us, the entire world around us was loud, chaotic, but in this one moment all I could hear was his long lapse of silence before he finally answered. 

“I want Chloe.” His request was soft-spoken but the possible meanings behind the words hit me like a freight train, sending me into an utter mute silence for at least ten seconds. Slowly, air began to come back to me and my mind switched into high-gear as I tried to process what he meant.

“What is that even supposed to mean?” I questioned nervously as I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m a person, not a piece of furniture. You can’t just point at someone and say ‘I want that one’,” I continued before crossing my arms in front of my chest and letting a harsh scowl etch itself into my face. The nerve of this man, I could not believe him. He knew I didn’t like him, maybe that’s why he was doing this, maybe he wanted me to be miserable. Or maybe he meant he wanted my soul. I shook the thought away, pissed with myself for letting the words of a ten-year-old bother me. If God doesn’t exist then the Devil doesn’t exist either, and I couldn’t bring myself to believe in any sort of higher power after everything I’d lived through. 

“Can’t I? Because it seems to me that’s what I just did.” He chuckled sinisterly as he leaned back in his seat. “I have a feeling that saying no to me, is an option that you just don’t have, so I do suggest you accept my gracious terms.” He continued, his voice growing more serious as he stared at me intensely for a long moment before the corners of his mouth tilted up in the beginnings of a smile. “Unfortunately, you will have to wait at least until tomorrow to hold up your end of the deal, as I don’t have a ring on me right now.” Wait. What? Why would a ring have anything to do with his terms? He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the table once more as he continued; “Well, other than this one.” He glanced down at the black and silver ring adorning his right hand just before he added, “But this one wouldn’t fit you anyway.” He finished as he pointedly stared at something on the table. I followed his gaze down to my own hands folded atop the table, and once again I was thrown for another loop. I thought he wanted to have meaningless sex with the one woman who clearly doesn't want him, but no, this was much worse. 

“Wait…” I trailed off as I shook my head. I couldn’t possibly be right. Could I? “You’re not…saying that you want me to marry you? Right?” I asked, my voice wavering. I had to be wrong. Oh God, please let me be wrong.

“Oh, that’s precisely what I’m saying.” He chuckled as he leaned in again, resting his chin on his propped up hand as he stared at me like I was some sort of new species, something unknown and fun, some mystery he needed to unravel. I sat there like a deer staring into a car’s headlights for a while, cursing my bad luck, cursing the man sitting across from me. 

“No.” I stated firmly as I stood up to leave. I’d had a man utterly destroy me before. I had built myself back up bigger, and stronger, and better; and I was not going to let it happen again, especially not with this egomaniac. I was not going to give him the rest of my life. My mom stopped me by grabbing my hand, and I glared at her angrily, I needed to get out of here, needed to get away from him.

“I think you should reconsider, Chloe.” She said softly as she let go of my hand, giving me the choice to leave if I truly wanted to. My mouth fell open at her statement, I couldn't believe that she actually wanted me to agree to this. 

“Mom! What are you saying? You want me to marry him? Really?” I practically screamed at her as I spun around to face the table once more. 

“Sweetheart, I’m just saying if he wants you to marry him in exchange for saving your father’s life it’s not a bad deal. I mean, you do have eyes right?” She questioned as she gestured to the suit-clad man who was staring at me with rapt attention. “And think about Trixie, she’ll be so happy,” My mother added as she watched me carefully. I couldn’t believe she brought Trixie into this. Trixie who didn’t know who her real dad was, and hopefully never would. Trixie who constantly asked why she didn’t have a dad, and when she might get one. Trixie, who, with the cooperation of my parents, I kept under the delusion that Dan was her third-cousin; just as I kept my parents under the delusion that Dan was her father. Dan had helped me pull the elaborate ruse off, taking the fall for me out of guilt; telling my parents that he wanted nothing to do with the kid, he wasn’t ready for fatherhood, but he couldn’t force me to get an abortion. So if the two of them wanted him in Trixie’s life at all he’d just be a distant family member, not a dad. 

“Mom you’re not liste —”

“And he’s rich, darling. It’s hard to be miserable when you’re rich,” My mom cut me off decidedly. Her voice growing sterner, causing my righteous anger to grow. I was opening my mouth to argue my point when Lucifer’s voice broke the silence.

“Just one year.” I turned to look at him as my brain processed his words.

“I only have to stay married to you for one year?” I questioned softly, tentatively. There was no way my father’s life was worth less than one year wasted from my own.

“As soon as our one-year anniversary rolls around you’re free to run down to the courthouse and file for divorce. That is, if you even still want to by then. I’d be surprised if you’d want to give this up." He chuckled as he gestured to himself and I forced myself not to roll my eyes. Silence grew between us once again as I considered the drawbacks of being married to him. He was probably only doing this in hopes that it’d be a one-year free pass to sex-city, but marital rape laws existed, this wasn’t the eighteenth century. Lucifer broke the growing silence with ease as he fixed me with his gaze. “The clock is ticking Detective, and the ball is in your court, as they say. So, what’s your decision?” I remained silent as my brain continued to consider all the possibilities. “Do we have a deal or not?” His final question broke the silence and threw me out of my slight haze. Just one year…three-hundred and sixty-five days. I could last a year. Right? I have to…for my dad.

“Fine. We have a deal.”


	2. How to Save a Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Detective strikes a deal with Lucifer to save her father's life he goes to the hospital to keep up his end of the deal, causing Mazikeen to grow even more angry with the Lord of Hells interference in human lives. Linda provides some of the only sensible advice Lucifer's gotten in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to start by giving a huge thank you to my beta editor Valifecent! Without your amazing help with this chapter wouldn't be nearly as amazing as you made it be. Another thank you to kanshou87, shadowolfhunter, lucifer-central, Nymue, BigKahuna, Valifecent, Jassa, and Yullia for your wonderful comments. And another thank you to everyone who left kudos and bookmarked this fic. Now without further ado, enjoy the newest installment!

_**L. Morningstar** _

“Perfect! Well then, I should probably be getting off to the hospital to take care of my end of things,” I stood, straightening my suit jacket as I offered the ladies in front of me a smile. 

“I’m coming with you,” Chloe stated as she and her mother stood.

“Me too,” Penelope stated immediately afterward. I rolled my eyes at their meager determination.

“Well I can’t take both of you, my car only has two seats,” I explained my voice growing impatient. Was I the only one who understood time was of the essence? Chloe said that her father was dying as we made our deal, based on her words he needed help immediately.

“We can take our car,” Chloe stated decidedly before turning away. I stepped in front of her quickly, blocking her path.

“With all due respect Detective, with your lethargic driving your father will be long gone by the time we finally reach the hospital,” I stated firmly earning a sharp glare from her. Luckily Momma Decker stepped to my defense moments later.

“Chloe you should go home. One of us needs to be there in case Trixie wakes up, let me go. I know he’s your father, but he’s my husband.” She said softly as she rested a hand on her daughter's arm. I thought Chloe was going to argue for a moment until her eyes drifted to the floor and she nibbled her lower lip nervously.

“Fine,” She conceded almost grudgingly before glaring at me once again and stomping off towards the exit. Penelope and I stood there watching her leave until she disappeared up the staircase.

“We should probably get going, time isn’t exactly on our side,” I stated before turning and walking towards the private exit, leaving Penelope to follow after me. I was surprised at how well she managed to keep up with my long strides following me out the subtle door and towards my Corvette. I held open the passenger door for her as she got in, as rushed as we currently were it still wasn’t an excuse not to show my future mother-in-law courtesy. She offered me a small smile as she slid in and I closed the door for her before rushing over to my side and getting in. Jamming the key in the ignition before peeling out of LUX. We swerved into the main road, earning a few honks as I gunned it and we shot forward, sliding in and out of lanes as we passed other cars. If Penelope was scared of my driving she certainly wasn’t showing it. I had a feeling the worry on her face was being caused by her husband, rather than my reckless driving. 

“Are you sure you can save him?” She asked quietly. I barely heard her over the wind blowing in my face and the roar of the engine. 

“I’m absolutely positive,” I shouted louder than necessary as I swerved between a gray coupe and a red SUV, earning myself another loud honk. “I’ve done far more with much less at my disposal before,” I added as I ran a red light, missing the cross traffic with plenty of time to spare. I probably shouldn’t be driving quite so recklessly with a human in the car, but at least my reflexes are far superior to theirs, I was much less likely to get in a crash even driving like this. 

“You know you’re going to have your hands full with Chloe,” She stated as she looked over at me. 

“What’s that supposed to mean darling?” I questioned as a smile spread across my face. I had already figured the detective would be harder than normal to win over given her lack of response to my charms, but I am the Devil after all, she would have to concede eventually. 

“She’s just so stubborn,” Penelope stated, shaking her head softly. I chuckled at her admission, I knew firsthand just how stubborn the detective could be.

“Yes, I may have noticed,” I replied as I made a tight turn, drifting into the oncoming lane for a moment before recovering the car.

“Just, make sure you treat her right,” Penelope stated, only a hint of warning in her voice. I had a feeling Penelope would be the least of my worries if I hurt Chloe, I was fairly certain her father would be the one to worry about.

“I wouldn’t dream of treating her with anything but the utmost of respect,” I offered as I pulled into the hospital parking lot before double parking in my haste. It wasn’t like it mattered, nobody was here this time of night anyway. I turned off the car before jumping out. Penelope closed her door behind her as I walked over to her side.

“Come now darling,” I said as I placed a hand on her upper back, leading her towards the hospital's entrance. We made our way inside, the large glass doors sliding open for us as we made our way towards the front desk. At this time of the night the hospital was practically a ghost town, only a few lost souls milling around.

“I’m here to check on my husbands’ status,” Penelope stated as she made it to the front counter. Immediately getting the young brunette nurses attention.

“Of course, what’s his name?” She asked her eyes brushing over Penelope before lingering on me. I couldn’t help but smile at the usual reaction.

“John Decker,” She stated, some worry finding its way back into her voice as the nurse pulled her eyes away from me before typing something into the computer. 

“We were just about to call you. I’m so sorry ma’am, he passed a few minutes ago. He’s being moved to the morgue as we speak,” The nurse spoke softly, a look of concern on her face as Penelope’s hand found my arm before squeezing it with more strength than I thought her capable of. A few seconds passed before she wrapped her arms around me and buried her head into my chest before sobbing uncontrollably. Ugh, this was a new Armani shirt…now I’d have to find a dry cleaner who could get the mascara stains out. I hid my disapproval of being her tissue, and instead focused on the nurse sitting in front of me.

“Excuse me, darling. Might I ask where the morgue is?” I questioned charmingly, tilting my head ever so slightly and giving her a sly smile.

“I’m not supposed to tell you, it’s not a public space,” She stated slowly, clearly losing a little bit of focus on the world around her. That’s it darling, just let go.

“I’m sure you can make an exception, just this once,” I offered softly, as I detached Penelope from me and leaned in closer to her. A few seconds passed before a small giddy smile covered her face and she reached a hand out to rest it on top of my own.

“Basement level. You can’t miss it if you follow the signs,” She stated softly as her thumb ran over my knuckles slowly. 

“Thank you,” I said as I righted myself and turned to make my way to the elevator, I’d already gone a few steps before the nurse's voice grabbed my attention once more.

“Wait! You’ll need this,” She offered as she pulled a thick plastic ID badge from her scrubs and handed it to me. I offered a broad smile in response and nodded before continuing towards the elevator. The soft sounds of Penelope’s footsteps on the carpet were the only thing that alerted me to the fact that she was coming. I jammed the call button on the elevator and waited impatiently until the polished silver doors slid open and I stepped inside, Penelope right on my tail. I pushed the basement level button before sliding the ID card through the reader, the button glowed blue before the doors closed and we began descending.

“How did you do that?” Penelope asked before sniffling loudly. 

“I have my tricks,” I stated with a shrug before turning to look at her. Mascara was running down her face as she looked at me and I almost felt pity for a moment. Penelope was by far the most likable one in her family it wasn’t fair to her to be going through all this. “Come now, just hold yourself together, your husband is going to be fine,” I stated as I rested my hands on her shoulders. She nodded softly before wiping her tears away, only serving to further smear the black streaks across her cheeks. The doors slid open with a loud ping and I pulled away from her making my way into the dingy hallway. 

The nurse was right. The signs were more than easy to follow, large gray placards nearly every five feet with directional arrows leading to the morgue, the janitor's supply closet, and the loading docks printed in boldly in black. The morgue was thankfully the closest and I stopped at the solid gray metal door before turning to Penelope. “Now, you are going to stand right here, and I will be back in just a moment,” I stated firmly. Penelope opened her mouth, probably to argue that she wanted to come but the look I gave her silenced her immediately. She closed her mouth before nodding her agreement. I slid the card through another reader before the door opened with a click. I slid inside before shutting it behind me, tucking the ID card in my pocket before turning around.

Laying there on a cold metal table with a white sheet stained red was John Decker. I sighed before pulling the small metal container from my pocket and opening it, pulling one of my pristine white feathers from it and twirling it between my fingers as I made my way over to him. I pulled the sheet back before drawing in a slight breath, the bullet wounds didn’t look that bad, the gigantic cuts in his skin from the surgery that the doctors hadn’t even bothered to stitch up did look pretty gruesome though. Granted I had seen far, far worse in hell. I placed the peeled back patches his skin closer back to where it belonged before picking up his arm, tucking the feather in his hand before resting it over the worst of his wounds. I stepped back as I hoped for the best. Occasionally humans could be brought back from the dead, I just hoped I’d gotten to him in time. The second my feather began to shimmer silver and crumble away I turned to leave, ignoring the small beam of golden light that was beginning to fill the room. I opened the door, stepping into the hallway as the light grew brighter. I closed the door behind me as quickly as possible, it probably wasn’t wise to let a human see what was going on.

Penelope was still standing where I’d left her, her eyes fixated on the nearly blindingly bright golden light seeping out from under the door before she looked up to me, her eyes filled with something almost akin to fear. We stood there in silence staring each other down until the light began dimming and then faded away entirely. I heard something metal clatter to the floor inside the morgue, it had to be Johnathan trying to figure out what was going on.

“I think he’s ready for you now,” I stated softly before running the nurses card through the scanner once again and holding the door open for her. She stepped forward timidly, pausing in the doorway as she drew in a sharp breath. “I’ll see you soon, Penelope,” I said just before she ran inside and I let the door drift shut behind her. I shook my head softly before making my way back towards the elevator, I needed to get out of here, hospitals were most definitely not my jam.

\---***---

“What did you do?” Her voice cut through the silence angrily before the sound of her clicking heels on the floor drew my attention away from fixing my cufflink. I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn’t happy, but since when were demons known to have good attitudes? I ignored her question at first, making my way around her and towards the bar before filling a glass with three fingers of brandy. I’d had a bloody long night, I deserved a drink, or ten.

“You’ll have to be more specific Maze,” I replied before taking a long sip, savoring the burn that followed. I should have known that when I turned to lean my back against the bar she’d be standing right there staring me down with daggers in her eyes. Bloody hell, you’d think she’d learn by now that a demon can’t possibly scare the Devil.

“Who are you anymore? Just going around the city saving human lives. Do I even know you?” Her voice grew louder in the empty penthouse as she closed even more of the distance between us until we were almost pressing chest to chest. Father, what has gotten into her lately? Ever since Delilah died and the Detectives showed up she’d become completely unruly.

“Do you?” I questioned before taking a longer sip of my drink. She launched into a rant immediately.

“Apparently not. Because the Lucifer I know doesn’t give a shit about human lives, the Lucifer I know wouldn’t be planning on marrying one of them!” I was familiar with the look in her eyes; the anger, the looming threat of violence, it was something I’d grown more than accustomed to in hell. What I wasn’t familiar with was the way she was addressing me, she never dared speak to me like this in hell; she knew her place down there, but up here she seemed to be forgetting it.

“Watch your tone, Mazikeen,” I growled harshly before throwing back the last of my glass. She knew not to push her luck too far, stepping back slightly. She was still furious though, I could see it on her face, and the way she was carrying herself. I definitely hadn’t heard the last of her side of the argument.

“When are we going home?” Her voice was cold and emotionless as I poured a second drink. Of course, that’s all she cared about, going ‘home’. She didn’t understand why I enjoyed the surface so much, and she obviously didn’t see that Dad’s little creations were actually quite interesting more often than not, more interesting than anything in hell at the very least.

“I don’t have a home Maze,” I answered as I turned to look at her once again. Surprisingly she looked at me with an expression I could not place. 

“But I do. Why can’t you understand that?” Anger, but also something else tainted her voice. She shook her head angrily before grabbing her jacket off the bar and stomping over to the elevator, the soft ping as the doors slid shut was the only thing that notified me that she was really gone. That wasn’t…No, it couldn’t be. Demons don’t have emotions, at least not emotions like that. I’ve never seen a demon experience the feeling of loss, or sadness for that matter, it just wasn’t possible. So why did that one little crack in her voice sound so much like those very things? 

Sighing heavily, I turned to pour myself another drink, but what was the bloody point? I opted instead to pull the spout from the top of the bottle before taking a long, and well-earned if I don’t say so myself, drink. I eyed the bottle in my hand for a few seconds, before taking another long pull off it. Bloody immortal metabolism.

\---***---

“Lucifer, I wasn’t expecting you again so soon.” Linda said as I pushed past her into her office.

“Yes well, exciting developments have occurred, but for some reason, I’m the only one who finds them exciting,” I replied as I settled into her plush couch and ignored the obvious irritation gracing her features. I’d make that irritation disappear when I got her undressed. 

“And these new developments are?” She questioned gently as she closed the door to her office and pulled a pad of paper off her desk before sitting down across from me. 

“I made a deal with the Detective,” I answered, smiling brightly. 

“Detective Decker?” She clarified and I nodded my response. She didn’t seem as surprised by the news as I had hoped. “John or Chloe?” She went on to clarify once again, ugh, humans and all their little details.

“Chloe of course,” I replied, humoring the doctor's extensive questioning. 

“And what did you make a deal over?” She asked sounding almost confused.

“Well, her father was in the hospital dying –“ 

“What happened to John?!” Concern was nearly palatable in her voice, all her features written over with worry.

“Someone riddled him with bullets,” I answered nonchalantly as I waved my hand through the air, dismissing her thought. John wasn’t the one sitting in front of her, and he certainly didn’t need her concern. I’m sure he had plenty of that from his wife and daughter. “Now, as I was saying, the Detective came to me for a solution, and luckily for her, I had one. And well, long story short her father is alive and well and we’re getting married,” I couldn’t help the wide smile spreading on my face. It was bloody exciting. I was going to get the answers I so desperately wanted. Plus, the face the Detective made when she got annoyed, I was going to be seeing that face a lot more in the future.

“What?” I could barely hear the Doctor’s breathless gasp, her face the perfect definition of shell shock. I shook my head and chuckled softly, humans, so delicate.

“Am I not enunciating today, Doctor? I said her father is alive and we’re –“

“I heard what you said Lucifer. It’s just…” She trailed off shaking her head before staring at the floor next to her feet for a few moments before looking back up at me. “Why are you and Chloe getting married?” She questioned her face taking on that calculated gaze she always got just before she insulted me in some way or another.

“Because that was my end of the bargain. I mean, I wasn’t just going to let her father die even if she declined, but she certainly didn’t know that.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at the end. I really had played her quite well. What I had pulled off was quite Devilish if I didn’t say so myself, and to think I came up with the idea off the top of my head. 

“Wait, so you were going to save John’s life even if Chloe declined your deal?” The doctor asked before a long pause and I nodded my head in response. From the moment the lovely Detective alerted me to the fact that her father was lying in a hospital dying because some pathetic criminal decided it was his time I knew I couldn’t let it happen. He was a good man despite his hatred towards me, his soul was pure, he didn’t deserve to die like that. Certainly not when I had a shipping container filled with hundreds of miracles I could just divvy out as I pleased just sitting in this city. “Why?” Linda’s voice broke the silence pulling me out of my internal ramblings.

“Because, the Detective would be completely boring if she was all heart broken. I mean, you humans are so good at just moping around the second something doesn’t go your way. I can only imagine how dreary she’d be if she lost her father,” I answered with ease just before a sly smile found its way onto the Doctor's face. Oh, you little minx, what naughty ideas just popped into your mind?

“So you care about Chloe’s feelings, her emotions.” Linda’s words threw me off immediately. That definitely wasn’t what I had been expecting.

“What? I never said that.” I defended myself immediately. I was the Devil. The Devil doesn't care about things like that. Sure, there was a time when I did, back before I faced the ultimate betrayal at my family’s hands, but that wasn't me anymore. 

“No, but you did say you didn’t want her to get her heart broken.” Leave it to humans to read into things that aren’t there. The doctor paused, silence growing between us until I realized she wanted me to explain.

“Yes, because you humans are boring when you’re hurt. I mean, can you imagine how long it would take for me to get the answers I want out of her if I had to wait for her to recover from her father's untimely demise?” I elaborated on an earlier point I brought up, hoping the Doctor could see the sense behind my words.

“Alright. Let’s put a pause on this bit of the conversation.” She sighed heavily as she rested her pad on the table between us. “Why do you want Chloe to marry you?” Her question was genuinely curious. Really? Why wouldn’t I want Chloe to marry me? She’s gorgeous, and strong willed, and actually capable of being her own independent being even in my presence because I don’t affect her.

“Because it will be so easy to get answers that way.” I opted for the shorter answer. 

“Answers to what?” Linda questioned as she perched herself on the edge of her chair, leaning in, obviously intrigued.

“To why she’s immune to me of course,” I gave a slight half chuckle before sobering up slightly. Chloe was an anomaly, one I was determined to solve. “I’ve never met a human who could resist my charms, and she may let something that would help me solve her little mystery slip once we are living together,” I elaborated a moment later, hoping the doctor could shed some light on why this one human in particular was different. 

“Right. Are you sure marriage is the best way to go about getting those answers though? Couldn’t you just, try to be her friend?” Linda offered another approach.

“Why would I do that? I wouldn’t get any of the perks that come with marriage then,” I shook my head at her idea as I dismissed it.

“The perks?” She questioned gently as she watched me keenly through thinly narrowed eyes.

“Well the sex, of course.” I couldn’t believe I was explaining this to her. She knew that sex and marriage went hand in hand. Didn’t she? 

“You think Chloe is going to want to have sex with you?” She blanched for a moment. Well, way to make my dreams of bedding the Detective seem impossible doctor.

“Well look at me? I mean, how long can she possibly resist?” I chuckled as I gestured to my body, giving her one of my toothy grins.

“Fair enough,” Linda replied, crossing her legs and clenching her jaw slightly. My laughter grew as I noticed the obvious longing in her body language, I ignored it for the moment though. I had more to talk about before I paid my tab.

“Plus, I can’t wait to see the look on her father's face when he finds out we’re getting married. I mean, the man loathes me for some reason, it’ll be so dramatic.” I added as I leaned in closer to the Doctor.

“Look, Lucifer. I’m just not sure you’re ready for that level of commitment. I mean, marriage is a big thing and you don’t seem like the type of person to really value its meaning.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, unable to hide the slight tone of hurt mingling with my voice. She certainly didn’t have a whole lot of faith in me.

“Marriage is about love, and trust, and mutual respect. You haven’t forgotten the biggest part of being married is being faithful, sexually, to your partner right? That means no other women except for Chloe. I think that’s going to be a big problem for you.” She elaborated, her voice still gentle. Really? She’s worried that I can’t keep it in my pants for a year? Well as long as the Detective puts out that won’t be a problem in the slightest.

“Oh, come now Doctor. It’s only for a year.” I chuckled as I waved away her concern.

“A year?” She sounded genuinely confused. Oh Father, why did you have to make humans so simple? You have to explain everything to them for them to understand.

“After a year is up she can go get a divorce and we can go our merry ways if that’s what she wishes,” I explained patiently. 

“You told her she only had to stick around for a year?” Her voice was incredulous, and I nodded my answer as I took a sip of water from the glass sitting in front of me. Linda buried her face in her hands before letting out a long hefty sigh. “And they say gay people are ruining the integrity of marriage.” I tilted my head as I tried to figure out what she meant. What in the world did homosexuals have to do with the arrangement I had with Chloe? “Do you even think you can last a year being married? Being faithful?” Linda questioned, her voice now lacking the gentle undertones it carried earlier. 

“Well when you’re as old as I am a year isn’t a considerable length of time. I’ve been around for millennia,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at the Doctors’ disbelief in my abilities. Sure, monogamy was a horrible idea, it was flawed and doomed to failure, but one year? Surely anyone could last a single year.

“Right. Because you’re the Devil,” Linda sighed heavily, shaking her head softly. Silence enveloped us for a few brief seconds before I spoke up.

“Why aren’t you excited? I thought you would be but I’m still the only one looking forward to this.” Her disheartening response had caught me completely by surprise. Was it too much to ask for one person to share my excitement?

“Lucifer, I’m just trying to make sure you’re not making a mistake.” She answered, concern carved into her face as she leaned back into her chair. A mistake? Did she really think that I was about to make a mistake?

“The Detective could never be a mistake,” I replied softly. I knew what I was going into, I knew that a year would come and go and then she’d be gone. But at least I’d understand what made her different by then. I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of eternity wondering what made this one different from the rest. Silence enveloped us before a small smile graced the Doctors’ features. 

“If you’re happy then I’m happy for you.” She broke the silence, her smile growing as one spread across my own face.

“Thank you.” An unfamiliar wave of emotions swept through me, threatening to clog my throat. I took a moment to compose myself, swallowing those emotions down and bottling them up where they belonged. I stood and began undoing the buttons on my suit jacket before speaking up once again. “Now then, shall we get on with your payment?” I had already shed my suit jacket and had started on my shirt buttons when she started to protest.

“Lucifer, stop.” Her hands were on me before I could even look up, pulling my own hands away from my partially open shirt and forcing them down by my sides.

“What’s wrong?” I questioned as I stared into her eyes. What had I done to earn her rejection?

“If you’re getting married we shouldn’t be sleeping together.” Linda answered, her voice steely with determination even as her treacherous eyes greedily explored the patch of my chest that was currently exposed. Really? She was turning down sex because I was going to get married in the future?

“I’m not married yet!” I defended as she stepped away, picking her papers up off the table and carrying them to her desk. 

“Yes, but you’re going to be, and I’m not comfortable sleeping with another woman’s fiancé.” The doctor replied, her voice still determined. I’d never understand humans and the value they put on something as unnatural as monogamy. I hadn’t promised my complete faithfulness yet. Why should I be held to that standard if I hadn’t even said my vows? I opened my mouth to argue my point but the look in the Doctor's eyes told me there was no point. I shook my head before buttoning up my shirt, wondering where we went from here.

“But…How am I going to pay you then?” I questioned after I’d refastened every button, picking up my suit jacket before shrugging it on. The Doctor's response was immediate.

“Like all my other clients. With money.”

\---***---

“Surprise!” I pushed my way inside the hospital room before closing the door behind me. John was laying down in bed looking well, for a man who had just risen from the grave maybe twelve hours ago. Sitting on his lap was a young child holding a book with rabbits on the cover, strange, the Detective didn’t tell me she had a younger sibling.

“What are you doing here?” John spoke up, the tone of his voice alone telling me my presence wasn’t exactly welcome. Sort of a rude way to treat the Devil who just saved your life. 

“Well just coming to check on you, like any good son-in-law would do.” I smirked widely as I made my way to the foot of his bed, aware of Chloe getting up and making her way over to me. 

“What? Are you even hearing the words coming out of your mouth?” John’s voice grew gruffer, less tolerating, and I couldn’t help but grin even more. Oh Father, was I going to enjoy this.

“Oh, you haven’t told him yet have you?” I questioned smugly as I looked down at the Detective standing next to me. The annoyed look on her face telling me the answer all on its own.

“Told me what?” John spoke up, still obviously annoyed but also confused. She still hadn’t broken the news to him! I mean, I couldn’t say I wasn’t glad, who didn’t love a little drama? But I had expected her to come clean already, and now that I was here she had no choice.

“You should probably tell him,” I leaned down slightly and whispered loudly to her. Not trying to be discreet in the slightest, it wasn’t exactly a specialty of mine. John was growing more annoyed by the moment, once again speaking up out of turn.

“Can somebody please just explain—“

“Can both of you just be quiet for a second?” The Detective stated authoritatively, effectively cutting off her father and silencing the whole room. She took a deep breath before explaining. “Look, Dad. Last night you were here, and you were dying, and I made a decision you aren’t going to like.” She paused to draw in another long breath as she fiddled with her hands almost nervously. Realization dawned over John’s face immediately, I could tell he hadn’t put all the pieces together yet though. He knew we made a deal, he just didn’t know the specifics yet, he certainly didn’t look horrified enough to know the specifics at least.

“Oh no…you didn’t—“

“John, I came as soon as I could get here,” The sound of the door opening alerted me to another new arrival. Poor Johnathan, he just couldn’t get more than two words out without someone interrupting him. I turned to see Detective Douche closing the door behind himself, a bundle of brightly colored flowers in hand. What’s he doing here? He turned from to door and surveyed the scene in front of him, a confused grimace growing on his face as he tried to figure out what was happening. “Um, what’s going on? And what’s he doing here?” His voice grew more defensive towards the end as he pointed an accusing finger my way. I guess he still hadn’t let go of his little grudge over the Detectives’ accident with Jimmy a few months ago.

“Nothing, he’s just leaving,” Chloe replied darkly just before her hand latched onto my forearm and she pulled me towards the door. 

“Detective!” I protested as I let her pull me out of the room. “What do you think you’re doing?” I questioned as she released her hold on my arm, practically slamming the door behind us before wheeling around to face me. “And why is the douche here? I thought you only worked together,” I continued my very justified little rant as I stuffed my hands in my pockets. 

“Look. My life is a lot more complicated than you seem to think it is. And Dan is part of my family like it or not.” She stated her voice low but furious as a finger jabbed me in the chest angrily. I couldn’t help but chuckle, humans were so oddly amusing when they got mad. “And I’m going to let you in on a secret because you’re in an important position okay?” She continued, her voice growing softer. I couldn’t help but perk up at the last bit.

“I do love a good secret,” I leaned in closer to her my voice also growing quieter as people bustled around us in the busy hallway.

“To my parents, Dan is Trixie’s father. But –“

“Who’s Trixie?” I questioned as I pulled away slightly. .

“My daughter.” The Detective replied, her voice cold and bordering on the edge of furious. I froze at her words, my mind shutting down for a few seconds before restarting itself. Horror flooding through me at this new information.

“Oh no…You have a child? And with Detective Douche nonetheless?” My voice grew significantly louder as I spoke, drawing the attention of those around us. Did that mean the tiny human would be moving into my penthouse when the Detective did? A shiver ran through me at the thought. Tiny humans were either the most innocent creatures, or they were the most diabolical ones in existence, both options were equally unnerving. 

“Dan isn’t her father!” Chloe practically growled, keeping her voice down as I had failed to do as she balled her hands into fists at her sides.

“But you just said—“

“I know what I said!” This time her voice rose, once again drawing over the gazes of several concerned looking nurses. We stood there in silence for a moment staring each other down. Righteous annoyance grew inside me at the new revelation that the detective had a child. She couldn’t have told me before her father wound up in this hospital? 

“You didn’t tell me you have a child, let alone one with the name of a hooker,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes, and only causing the Detective to get even more worked up. She stepped forward, her eyes practically screaming her desire to punch me.

“You didn’t ask, and Beatrice is not a hooker name. Now would you just shut up for a minute?” If looks could kill I had no doubt I’d be back in hell at this very moment. I had to admit, at the moment the Detective was much more terrifying than Mazikeen had ever been, the look on her face was enough to silence any other little quips I wanted to get out. “Listen very carefully. My parents think Dan is Trixie’s father, he’s not. Trixie thinks Dan is her distantly related cousin, he’s not. If you’re going to be a part of my crazy life, you need to help me maintain those illusions,” Her voice, although quiet, demanded my full attention. She looked at me as though waiting for my agreement of full support, but there was no way I could give it. Not on this.

“You’re lying to your family,” I stated and she glowered at me angrily in response. “I don’t do lies detective. Sorry, won’t be able to help you out on this front,” I finished as I brought myself back up to my full height and her obvious annoyance grew.

“I’m doing it for a good reason! Can you please just go along with it?” She exclaimed, clearly becoming more desperate as her annoyance faded. 

“What’s the reason?” I questioned, intrigued by what could possibly be worth holding up such illusions for. 

“I can’t—It’s personal and…I’m not ready to tell you yet. You’re practically a stranger to me.” If she was uncomfortable telling me I wasn’t going to press too hard, surely I’d get the answer eventually. Instead, I chose to focus on the second half of her explanation.

“We could fix that,” I offered, giving her a wolfish grin as I looked over her body for a long moment. Oh, the things I could do if she’d just let me.

“Oh my God!” She basically yelled as she threw her hands in the air in annoyance. Once again drawing unnecessary attention towards us. I couldn’t help but flinch at the use of my Father's name, hopefully she could learn to use other expletives in my presence.

“Could you please not bring him into this?” I asked gently, through gritted teeth. Why did everyone always have to bring him up? She let out an angry huff at my request.

“Can you stop acting like a child for five minutes and just listen to me?” She questioned harshly before her expression turned pleading once more. “Please do this, for me. If you want this to work out between us, we need to be on the same page on this one,” She explained slowly, her voice softer and quiet once again. If there's one thing that I refuse to be it’s a liar. But I suppose, I don’t have to actively lie. I can just go along with whatever she says, it’s not like I’d be the one doing the lying, I just wouldn’t be revealing the truth.

“Fine. I will go along with this elaborate mess you have yourself in on one condition.” I offered. Another deal, a favor for a favor.

“Great. Let’s hear it,” Chloe actually seemed relieved despite the fact that I wanted something in return. So whatever this is it clearly must mean a great deal to her.

“You have to tell me why you’re lying to them to begin with—“

“Lucifer! I just told you I’m not—“ I effectively silenced her with a finger to the lips, only to have her bat my hand away a moment later.

“Shh. Not done taking yet darling,” I spoke up as I let my hand fall back to my side. “You have to tell me before you file for divorce,” I finished with a smug grin. I thought she was going to say no at first, but then she seemed to reconsider.

“Alright. Fine,” She replied almost grudgingly.

“Splendid. Oh also, you have to get rid of the child. Children and I don’t mix. We’re like oil and water,” I stated only partially joking. I mean, if she actually wanted to ditch the child I certainly wouldn’t be opposed in the slightest. 

“I’m not getting rid of Trixie. She’s not a pet, she’s a person. We’re a package deal. Take it or leave it,” Chloe growled jabbing me in the chest once again with her fingers. She obviously didn’t get the joke but that certainly wasn’t going to stop me from pushing it further, it was exhilarating when she got mad.

“Hmm.” I hummed noncommittally, shrugging my shoulders as I pretended to consider whether or not it was really worth it. 

“Seriously?” She yelled flinging her hands in the air once again as she turned to stomp off. 

“Joking, darling! Calm down for a moment.” I stated as I cut in front of her, effectively stopping her in her path. “So why—“

“You’re done asking questions. It’s my turn.” She cut me off before jumping right into her line of questioning. “How did you save him?” Really? I showed her last night, had she seriously already forgotten?

“Well with the angel’s feather, of course. I told you it was powerful.” 

“Cut the bull, Lucifer. He is completely better. The hospital is discharging him in an hour. He doesn’t have a scratch on him. It’s like nothing ever happened, even the doctors are calling it a miracle. John Decker, back from the grave.” She explained even though I really didn’t need her to. I was, after all, the one who slipped the feather into his rapidly cooling hand and pressed it to his chest. I was just lucky I didn’t show up any later. If his soul had crossed the threshold of the pearly gates before I managed to heal his body he would’ve been gone forever regardless of what pristine condition his body was in. 

“As I said before, I don’t do lies Detective. I’m not giving you any bull.” I replied as patiently as I could manage, but the detective still refused to hear me out. Shaking her head in disbelief as I gave her my answer.

“I don’t believe in that crap,” She stated as she turned to stare through the window to her father's room. He was still curled up with her…daughter, I practically shuddered at the word…reading the silly rabbit book with her. “Heaven, hell, God, Satan. They’re just stories,” Chloe elaborated moment later and I couldn’t help but chuckle at her disbelief. Humans, so obstinate, she was staring at a miracle while denying that anything capable of a miracle existed. 

“Keep telling yourself that Detective.” I leaned down until her hair tickled my jaw. “I’m sure you’ll come to your senses eventually,” I said quietly in her ear. She turned back to me and I had the common sense to right myself before an angry hand could find my face.

“What are you even doing here?” She questioned, her annoyance returning as she glared at me.

“I came to see how your father was doing,” I explained patiently, giving her a genuine smile before something else popped into my mind. I pulled a small black box from the pocket of my suit jacket before continuing. “Oh, and to give you this. I do believe tradition calls for the gentlem—“

“Is that a ring?” She cut me off, holding a flat hand out towards me in a gesture to stop. 

“What else could it possibly be? A pound of cocaine?” I joked loudly as I waived the small black box around in the air.

“Why are you giving me a ring? We aren’t married yet!” She reminded me, her voice a harsh whisper. 

“It’s called an engagement ring, surely you’ve heard of such a thing.” I scoffed as I toyed with the tiny box in both of my hands. 

“I don’t want it,” She replied almost instantaneously. I had to admit, I was slightly taken aback. I certainly hadn’t expected this kind of reaction. 

“Well, the store doesn’t do refunds. I’m afraid you’ll have to take it,” I replied my voice colder than I meant for it to be.

“I’m not going to wear it.” She told me as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. A motion I was beginning to learn meant that she was going to be particularly stubborn about a subject. I couldn’t make her wear it, but it would be a shame to have such an expensive hunk of rock and metal just sitting abandoned in some dresser drawer.

“Detective!” I exclaimed as I stuffed my hands in my pants pocket. “Are you starting to go back on your end of the deal?” 

“What if I am?” She asked as she stared me down. I felt my mouth fall open at her open admission. She made a deal…You can’t go back on a deal, at least not if you value the worth of your word. I knew if I said the wrong thing I could very easily lose my end of the bargain, I had to play my cards very carefully.

“I wouldn’t suggest that. I mean,” I began before placing my hands on her shoulders and turning her back around to look through the window to her father's room. “Can you imagine how disastrous it would be if I went back on my side?” I questioned quietly as I removed my hands, letting her stare at her daughter curled up in her father's lap. 

“You can’t reverse a miracle,” She scoffed with a roll of her eyes, but I could see the tension in her body, she was bluffing and hoping she was right. And, well, she was right. I couldn’t reverse a miracle, but I certainly wasn’t going to let her know that and give up the only power I had at the moment.

“You don’t even believe in miracles, somehow, even though one is staring you in the face. I wouldn’t act like an expert on the subject if I were you. You have no idea what you’re playing with here,” I advised my voice deceivingly somber. She turned to look at me, trying to read me just as I had been trying with her moments prior. “Besides, there is also the matter of your spawn’s secret paternity. It would be a shame if the truth of the matter came to light.” 

“Jesus. I’ll wear the God damn ring alright?” .

“Oh Father. Could you maybe try to ease up on bringing up my dad and half-brother?” I questioned only causing her to bury her face in both of her hands and let out a long, almost half-crazed sigh. 

“Just give me the damn ring, Lucifer.” She stated as she pulled her hands away from her face and held one out towards me, waiting for me to place the small black box in her outstretched palm. I pulled it out of my pocket and almost handed it over when I remembered what I was going to miss if I did this when we were all alone. I pulled my hand away quickly, earning myself another impatient glare.

“I want to do it in front of John.” I stated as I stared at the small box nestled in the palm of my hand. 

“Why?” Chloe questioned, her voice impatient as she finally let her outstretched hand drift back down to her side.

“Well the look on his face is going to be priceless. Come on, let’s go in there and break the news.” I answered happily as I gave her a wide grin. I was so looking forward to his reaction, although the Detective certainly couldn’t have hidden her ring from him for very long even if I gave it to her now, a rock that big would be hard not to notice. I earned myself another death glare as Chloe turned and leaned against the wall, pressing her face into the sleeve of her jacket before I heard a long string of muffled curses flowing from her mouth. I couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction until she turned back to me, her expression unchanged.

“I absolutely infuriate you don’t I?” I asked even though the answer was more than obvious to anyone with eyes or ears.

“Yes.” She growled as her hand fell onto the doorknob before pulling open the door to her father's room. I broke the charged silence that was between us as I followed her inside.

“Splendid.”


	3. Marry Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe has to break the news to her father, but of course, Lucifer has to jump in and screw everything up for her. Now Chloe has to deal with the aftermath of her father's new knowledge of her future husband while trying to put the pieces together on the Nick Offerman case, and also attempting to figure out some of Lucifer's secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I can not express enough gratitude for the time and effort my beta editor Valifecent puts in on this story. You're awesome and I love working with you! I'd also like to thank Greenleaf, BigKahuna, will30usa, Lzod, CarolineCC, and CrystalynaduStarrvan for all of your wonderful comments, it means a lot to me to hear from you, my wonderful readers. And I'd also like to thank everyone who's given a kudos on this work as well as all of my readers in general, you're what makes this story possible.

_**C. Decker** _

“Hey Dan, can you take Trixie to the cafeteria?” I asked as the door closed behind Lucifer and I.

“But I’m not hungry mommy,” Trixie spoke up as she closed her book and looked up at me before peering curiously at the man who would soon be her step-father. Oh God, he is so not step-father material. I pushed the annoying thought away and forced myself to focus on the present.

“Not even for Jello?” I questioned and Trixie’s face lit up immediately. A large, gappy smile filling her features.

“Well, I guess I could eat a little,” She replied as she crawled off of my father’s bed.

“Come on,” Dan offered with a smile as he took her small hand in his own and they made their way to the door. Trixie waved at Lucifer as she passed him, only making him seem uncomfortable before he gave her a pathetic half-wave in return. As soon as the door closed behind them the room filled with tension once again.

“What are you still doing here?” My Dad asked as he pointed at Lucifer, his face the picture of annoyance bordering on anger.

“I’m helping break the news, of course,” Lucifer replied much too happily for his own good. Why was he getting such a kick out of this?

“Could somebody please just explain what’s going on?” My father questioned, clearly unhappy with Lucifer’s vague answers. I took a deep breath in an attempt to steel myself in for what I was certain was going to be the worst conversation of my life.

“Dad, I made a deal with Lucifer,” I explained slowly as I dreaded his response.

“Why?” He asked angrily as he threw his hands up in the air before they fell back onto the bed with a soft thud.

“You were dying! What did you expect me to do?” I questioned, my voice rising in pitch as I defended myself. “Look, he followed through. I have no idea how, but he did and you’re alive, and that’s all that really matters,” I continued as I managed to bring my voice back down to its normal tone. I knew very well that feeding into his anger wouldn’t make this any easier on either of us.

“What does he get?” He asked grumpily as he crossed his arms over his chest. A habit I’d taken from him. I swallowed thickly and began to fidget with my hands as I tried to prepare myself to say what was coming.

“Well…you see…um,” I trailed off slowly. Squeezing my eyes shut and trying to take long deep breaths to get a hold of myself. You can do this Chloe. Just tell him what you did. I was pulled from my thoughts as the sound of someone clearing their throat filled the room. I opened my eyes to see my dad staring at something to the right of me with a complete look of horror on his face. I turned to see whatever it was he was staring at, only to be greeted with the sight of Lucifer kneeling in front of me, holding out the small and still closed ring box in his hands as he stared up at me with a small smile on his face. The sight was enough to make me struggle for air for a few seconds.

“Lucifer! What are you doing?” I questioned as I turned to face him. My voice coming out strained and annoyed. Did he have to make a scene out of everything?

“Is this not how it’s done? I mean, I’ve only seen it happen a few times but I’m pretty sure this is the norm,” Lucifer said, and if I didn’t know better I’d say he almost seemed unsure at the beginning. I shook my head at him, I couldn’t believe this. Why did he have to do this to me?

“You don’t need to propose,” I stated callously. “This, thing, is only an arrangement.”

“Humor me,” He chuckled with a cocky smile. I bit back my annoyance at the situation as he sobered up a bit. Clearing his throat before beginning, “Chloe Decker, would you do me the incredible honor, of agreeing to be my wife?”. I was a bit taken back that he went with something more flowery than just ‘Will you marry me?’. I didn’t have much time to be shocked over the nature of his proposal though, because a moment later he cracked the ring box open. I couldn’t help but gasp slightly, it looked like it easily cost as much as most people’s cars.

Nestled comfortably in silver satin was a shimmering rose gold ring with three cushion cut stones, two of which were obviously diamonds which framed the soft pink almost champagne colored stone in the middle. If I had to guess I’d have to say the middle stone was nearly three carats, while the bordering diamonds were probably about one carat each. It was…beautiful, and if any of this actually meant anything I probably would have broken into tears at the sight of it. Was he trying to impress me? I was going to have to marry him even if he got me the plainest ring in existence. I doubted that it would even fit on my finger comfortably with such large gems jutting out from it.

“No!” My father's objection pulled me out of my overly deep analyzation of the ring Lucifer had gotten me and back into the present moment. 

I pulled my eyes away from the ring and back up towards Lucifer’s face. He looked sincere and actually approachable for once. He even had a real, somewhat shy smile; something I was fairly certain I’d never seen on him before. What really got me though were his eyes, they almost always held a playful or mocking twinkle but not now; now they were serious and kind.

“Yes,” I breathed so softly even I could barely hear myself. I was at a complete loss for words. This was all the exact opposite of what I had been expecting of him. Apparently, Lucifer heard me though, because his smile grew the second the word left my mouth. He still remained serious and almost sweet though, as he pulled the ring from its box before reaching out towards me. It took me a moment to realize he was waiting for my hand, and I swallowed heavily before placing my left hand in his outstretched one. He immediately realized that I was shaking a bit. Why am I nervous? I definitely should not be nervous. Lucifer shifted his hand under mine before rubbing slow, gentle circles into my knuckles with his thumb. I took a deep breath as my eyes traveled from our hands back up to his eyes, he looked so…sincere, and gentle, and patient. I’m not sure how long I stood there staring at him until his hand shifted under mine once again, drawing my eyes back down to our hands as I realized I was no longer shaking in the slightest. I watched as he slowly slid the incredibly extravagant ring onto my finger before letting go of my hand and standing back up.

I couldn’t help but bring my hand up to my face to get a closer look. God, why did he have to get me such a beautiful ring? I let my hand drift back down to my side as I looked back over to the man who had put it there. He was much closer than I expected and it shocked me a bit, but not nearly as much as it shocked me when he lifted his hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. If I didn’t know any better I’d think we were having a moment, except there was no way I could ever have a moment with someone who was nearly a complete stranger. No, I must be imagining this. 

“How does it fit?” Lucifer’s voice was soft as it broke the silence, effectively pulling me out of the slight haze I had been in.

“A little loose but it’s fine,” I replied quietly. I was honestly amazed he’d managed to guess my ring size so accurately.

“We can get it sized,” He offered as his eyes found mine once again, and the strange tension that had been there a brief moment ago returned.

“Alright,” I didn’t know what else to do but agree.

“Excuse me?!” My father’s angry voice broke the spell I had been under. Lucifer’s eyes immediately flicked away from mine as he took a step away. “What the hell is this?” My dad questioned as he walked away from his bed, drawing all the wires connected to his skin taunt.

“What does it look like? We’re getting married, Jonathan.” Lucifer replied with a roll of his eyes.

“Nobody gave you permission to marry my little girl!” My father was yelling now, his heart rate monitor speeding up with his obvious anger. I swallowed somewhat nervously at his response. My father was the parent whose approval I cared about, but I knew he would never approve of this, regardless of what we got out of it.

“She gave me her permission. Last time I checked you don’t own her Jonathan, she’s her own person.” Lucifer retorted, annoyance heavily lacing his voice. My father didn’t take his response well, his face growing red.

“Just kill me then!” My father shouted as he glared at Lucifer as though he wanted to kill him.

“Dad!” I exclaimed. He couldn’t just say things like that, not after everything I’d done so far to keep him here with us.

“Oh, come now Jonathan, that’s certainly not necessary,” Lucifer added and for once I was thankful for his response. There could never be enough people dissuading my father from the idea that death was preferable to life.

“If it gets her out of marrying you it is! I’ll send myself back on my own, I swear to God!” My father shouted as he tried to pull a few of the sensors off his skin. Before I could move to stop him Lucifer was already stepping forward.

“Now, now. Let’s not make any rash decisions.” He began as he held out his hand in a stopping motion towards my father and surprisingly he actually did stop, watching Lucifer carefully as he made his way closer. “After all, if you take your own life you won’t get to go back to heaven. You’ll get a one-way ticket downstairs, to my territory.” He continued, letting his hand fall to his side as more anger grew in my father’s eyes and he closed the rest of the distance between the two of them.

“I will not let my little girl marry a monster,” My father growled as he jabbed Lucifer in the chest with a finger, his eyes alight with anger.

“Jonathan!” Lucifer stated with mock hurt. His hand flew to his chest as though he was trying to console his hurt heart. “Would a monster have brought you back from the grave?” Lucifer questioned as he let his hand fall back down to his side. I decided now was the time to pull them apart, my father looked seconds away from taking a swing at Lucifer. And although I wouldn’t mind in the least if he beat some sense into the man, now was not the time or place for that sort of behavior.

“Dad. I made my decision, alright. I’m ready to live with the consequences,” I stated firmly as I pushed them away from each other. Lucifer stepped away at my touch, giving my father and I some much-needed space away from him.

“Chloe, he is the Devil,” My dad whispered harshly as his hand wrapped around my forearm. His admission surprised me a bit. My dad wasn’t an atheist like myself, he did go to church occasionally, he just wasn’t a devout man of faith. I had never pegged him for the type to fall into Lucifer’s delusions.

“Oh, for Father’s sake! Just because I’m the Devil I’m inherently evil? Have you ever even opened a satanic bible? I mean I didn’t write it myself. I personally find the thought of you humans worshipping me to be ridiculous, worship is my Father’s bag. You see, Lilith gave a bunch of information to a human and he—“

“Both of you just shut up!” I shouted loudly, immediately quieting the whole room. “You know I don’t believe in that stuff Dad so please just drop this,” I told him as I pulled his hand from my arm and moved back towards Lucifer’s side once more. “I just want to get this year over with. And you, you’re not the Devil,” I stated authoritatively as I pointed at Lucifer. He looked insulted and he spoke up almost immediately.

“But—“

“Lucifer Morningstar, you are not the Devil. You are just a man who shares his namesake,” I reiterated, only getting a huff and an eye roll out of him.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Detective.”

“You did what you wanted, you can go now,” My father spoke up as he crossed his arms angrily once more, his words obviously pointed at Lucifer. Lucifer turned and walked towards the door, resting his hand on the knob before turning to look back at all of us.

“Penelope,” He gave my mom a smile as he dismissed her. “Jonathan,” His voice grew colder but still not entirely unfriendly as he nodded. Then he turned to me once again. “Chloe,” He offered, and he actually sounded somewhat respectful for once. “I’ll be in touch,” He finished before pulling the door open and leaving the room. The second the door clicked shut I knew I was in for it.

“What was that?” My father’s voice sounded deceivingly placid, and I knew it was the calm before the storm. I shook my head at his question. 

“Give me a second Dad,” I dismissed him as I made my way to the door and slipped into the hallway before he could protest. I caught sight of Lucifer immediately, he was by far the tallest person in the hallway. “Lucifer!” He stopped as soon as I called his name, turning around as I made my way over to him. “Why did you get me such a nice ring? It couldn’t have been cheap,” I questioned as I purposely avoided his eyes. After whatever just happened in the room back when he was proposing I wasn’t so sure that his little mind games didn’t work on me.

“Because you deserve it Detective.” I looked up as he paused, my eyes finding his even as I told myself no. But whatever was there earlier was gone now, maybe I had just been imagining things back there. “I plan on treating you as well as you deserve to be treated. I would suggest you get used to this,” He stated with a smile as he gestured to the hand I now wore his ring on. I didn’t have time to ask anything else before he looked past me, a grimace covering his face. I turned around quickly as I wondered what he saw, but the only thing that greeted me was Trixie running over with Dan in tow. I turned back to ask if he was trying his little mind thing earlier but he was gone, I only caught a glimpse of him turning the corner before Trixie latched onto my leg.

“Mommy!” I chuckled as she let go, turning around and squatting down until we were closer to the same height.

“Hey monkey, how was your Jello?” I questioned as I pulled her into me for a hug, her tiny arms wrapping around me and squeezing me tight.

“It was great! How is grandpa?” She asked as we pulled away from each other, and I rested my hands on my knees.

“He’s doing good.” I smiled as I stood all the way back up. I heard Trixie’s small gasp before her tiny hands were wrapped around mine.

“Mommy! Where did you get this?” She questioned as her fingers found my new engagement ring.

“Oh, that.” I paused for a moment as I considered how to break the news to my seven-year-old. “Well, you remember the really tall man who was in grandpa’s room when you left to get Jello?” She nodded as she continued to toy with the ring. “Well, he gave it to me.” 

“He must like you a lot to give you such a nice ring,” Trixie said happily as she let go of my hand. I couldn’t help but smile softly at her innocence. “Will I get to meet him?”

“You will. Pretty soon hopefully,” I replied. I hadn’t even begun to think about when I’d manage to get the two of them in the same room together, I still didn’t want to think about it. I was certain Lucifer would complain the second I suggested it.

“Does this mean I’m getting a daddy?” Trixie asked, her voice small and hopeful as she looked up at me with large eyes. I considered lying to her for a moment, but I couldn’t, not with something so big. This wasn’t something like letting her believe in the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy, this was going to directly affect the next year of her life, possibly longer if she grew attached to Lucifer.

“It does,” I answered quietly. Trixie lit up immediately, one of the biggest smiles I’d even seen on her covering her face. I wish I could explain to her that none of it was real though, but that would contradict everything I’d ever taught her about marriage. I wasn’t about to tell her that two people could get married out of nothing more than obligation or convenience because I never wanted her to marry someone for those reasons.

“Really?” She questioned as she bounced with excitement. I bit my lip and nodded softly just before she latched onto my leg once again. “Thank you, mommy. I’ve wanted a daddy for a long time.” Her soft admission made me choke on a potent mix of feelings. I knew very well just how much she wanted a father; so much in fact that she put it on her Christmas list to Santa last year, so much that when she had to take my father to her classes bring your parent to school day because I was busy on a case and one of the kids in her class made fun of her for not having a Dad she came home crying, asking me why she was different from everyone else. I bit my lip until I tasted blood, I hadn’t really considered how my arrangement with Lucifer would affect Trix. My daughter loves people so freely and becomes attached so quickly, it’s one of best and the worst things about her personality. I didn’t even want to think about how hard it would be on her when we separated. Didn’t want to think about the tears I’d have to wipe from her face in the future.

“Why don’t you go finish your book with grandpa monkey?” I just barely managed to keep my voice from cracking as she pulled away.

“Ok!” She jumped at the opportunity, not even noticing the off tone of my voice as she struggled to pull open the heavy hospital door before scrambling inside. I shook my head softly as I watched her disappear inside. What had I gotten us both into?

“You’re engaged to Lucifer?” Dan’s cold voice broke the silence, drawing my attention over to his incredibly unamused expression.

“Dan—“

“He is not father material for Trixie. What were you thinking?” His voice grew colder, disappointment tainting it heavily. He was right, Lucifer was the furthest thing from father material I could think of but he’d have to do, just for the next year.

“I didn’t really have much of a choice,” I defended lamely. I didn’t have much fire left at the moment, not after my revelations about Trixie.

“I would make a much better father than he ever could,” Dan ignored my statement as he shook his head angrily. It wasn’t the first time he’d offered to step in as Trixie’s father. After getting transferred to the LAPD and finding his way back into our lives he’d slowly started asking me if I’d ever let him play a larger role in Trixie’s life, in my life.

“Dan. I’ve told you. You’re my friend, I can’t risk losing my friendship with you if something went wrong between us,” I reminded him of the same thing I’d told him the previous times he’d tried to talk me into this. The frown that crossed his face foretold the argument that was coming. I didn’t want to fight with Dan too today, I quickly threw in another excuse to distract him from whatever rant I knew was coming. “You’re just, not really my type.”

“Oh, and tall, dark, and delusional is?” Dan spoke up, his voice growing louder as he clearly became even angrier with what I’d done.

“Dan—”

“I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you.” He stepped forward, closing most of the distance between us before leaning down slightly. “You know who will be there for you when Lucifer gets tired of you and throws you out like yesterday's leftovers? I’ll be there for you, and you can thank me then.” He managed to keep his voice down even though it was still obvious just how mad he was. 

He turned and stalked off before I could even think of a reply. I watched him disappear down the hallway as I bit back tears. How much more of this could I possibly take? First, an engagement to a man I didn’t even feel anything but a chemical repulsion for. Second, my daughter's desperate longing to have a nuclear family. And third, my father’s near hatred of Lucifer. And to top all of that off, one of my oldest friends turning his back on me when I just needed him to listen to everything that was wrong for a moment, rather than shame me over something I didn’t have a say in anymore. I was beginning to regret ever hearing the name Lucifer Morningstar.

\---***---

Hardly a minute had passed after I’d gotten Trixie tucked into bed for the night, and taken a seat at the kitchen table as I tried to unwind before my father launched back into another rant. “You have to call this off.”

“I can’t call it off Dad,” I replied firmly. Lucifer’s indirect warning that he could take my father’s life away just as easily as he’d saved it replaying in my head over and over. Was it even possible? He didn't seem like the type of man who could do such a thing, but was it worth the risk to call his bluff? No, I thought as I looked into my father’s eyes.

“I hate him even more now.”

“Dad, I don’t think he’s all that bad.” I don’t know why I jumped to Lucifer’s defense. He was shady and unorthodox, and clearly had ties to something that went deeper than I could fathom right now. 

“He certainly does have the assets to take care of her and Trixie,” My mother jumped into the conversation as she sat down next to me. “And look how many likes I got on the picture I took of him proposing to you,” She continued as she held her phone out in front of me, a snapshot of the moment after he’d opened the ring box staring back at me. I pushed her phone away unhappily, I wasn’t fond my mother’s overuse of social media. I considered asking her where she’d posted it but I already knew her answer would be, ‘Only on Facebook, and Instagram, and Twitter’.

“Not all that bad? Since when is the Devil not all that bad?” 

“Since when did you start believing he’s the literal Devil?” I countered as he took the seat across from me. It wasn’t at all like him to get sucked into anyone else’s delusions. I had to admit it was putting me off a little bit. Now that my father was claiming he was the Devil, on top of everything I’d seen that I couldn’t possibly explain. It seemed almost possible that maybe he could, in fact, be the Devil. I shook the thought away angrily.

“I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I died,” He replied almost sarcastically. He opened his mouth to say more but my mother chose that moment to speak up.

“Did you…see something?” Her voice was soft and almost a tad bit scared. She sounded nothing like her normal, almost inconsiderate self. Why were they both so off today? Other than the whole back from the dead thing, that is.

“I can’t remember, it’s just blank space. Nothingness,” My father answered softly, staring at his hands as he rested them on the table. I shouldn’t have felt relief at his answer. Of course he didn’t see anything, there was nothing after this life, but I still felt relief all the same. I wrote it off as just needing a little affirmation after all of the crazy and impossible things that happened today.

“He’s not my first choice either Dad, but I can’t just not do this now. That’s not how a deal works,” I smiled softly as I rested my hand on top of his. I hoped that maybe if I acted like it didn’t bother me as much as it did he wouldn’t get so worked up over it.

“If he hurts you I will kill him.” I shook my head at his response. I didn’t know what else to try to get him to calm down a little bit, it looked like only time would be able to soothe his nerves.

“Dad, I don’t think that’s going to be necessary. He seemed almost kind of sweet earlier,” I replied as I pulled my hand away. It felt strange to refer to Lucifer that way, and I’m sure it sounded even stranger to my parents. But he had acted differently than normal this afternoon, during the proposal at least, was I the only one who noticed that?

“You mean when you were staring at him with bedroom eyes? Yeah, I bet he seemed like a real peach,” My father scoffed as he rolled his eyes and flopped back into his chair with a huff.

“Dad!” I exclaimed as I tried not to take offense to his words.

“That man is the exact opposite of sweet,” He stated angrily.

“Why are you the one freaking out? I’m the one marrying him.” I reminded him as I started to grow frustrated with all of it. All day today all I had gotten was other people being angry about what happened, when did I get to be angry?

“I’m sorry, Chloe,” My Dad stated softly as he stared at the table in front of him before glancing back up at me. “I just, I’m scared you’re going to get hurt,” He admitted as he intertwined his fingers and looked at me with nothing but genuine concern. I understood where he was coming from but why would Lucifer save my life from Jimmy and then visit me in the hospital if he wanted to actually wanted to hurt me?

“I’ll be fine. I can handle myself, you know that.” I answered as I smiled up at him. 

“I do,” My father replied with a soft smile. I glanced out the window, it had been dark outside for a while now. We’d spent longer than expected at the hospital, the doctors wanted to do more tests and practically demanded a few specialists take a look at my father. We hadn’t gotten home until practically ten. I still couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something incredibly off with Lucifer, and as I stared out the window and toyed with the ring on my finger I began to wonder why I wasn’t out there searching for the answers myself.

“I’m going to head over to Lux okay? Can you watch Trix?” I questioned as I looked back over at my dad.

“Why are you going over there?” He questioned as I stood and began to make my way out of the dining room.

“There is something off about Lucifer. You were dead, and then you just came back to life. It’s suspicious. I’m a detective, and I’m going to solve a mystery,” I explained as I paused in the doorway and looked back over at my parents. Besides, maybe if I annoyed Lucifer enough he’d call off the wedding. Wouldn’t that be a blessing?

“That’s my girl,” My dad said with a wide smile before giving me a knowing wink. I smiled as I made my way to my room. I’d have to doll myself up a little bit to blend in with Lux’s normal crowd but at least the traffic at this time of night would be practically non-existent. Mr. Morningstar had no idea what he’d gotten himself into.

\---***---

It was easier than I had expected to get into Lux, but maybe that was just because the bouncer recognized me from the last time when I flashed my badge at him and threatened to have him arrested unless he stepped aside. I don’t think I can ever really get used to this place, I’m just so out of my element. I belong at home, curled up on the couch with a blanket, a book, and a glass of wine.

It took me a moment to find an empty seat. I wasn’t sure how this place was so busy on a Monday night. Didn’t any of these people have work on Tuesday? I couldn’t help but check the time on my phone which boldly stated it was already 1:13 AM, I had expected Lucifer to already be mingling with five hundred of his closest acquaintances but I couldn’t seem to find him anywhere. I knew I should probably try and mingle to see if I could get any information out of anyone here, but the thought of sweaty drunk men hitting on me, and slutty women only trying to use me to get cute guys to come over kept me where I was.

I just barely caught a glance of Lucifer out of the corner of my eye and quickly turned away, letting my hair fall and cover my face. Thankfully he walked past without so much as a glance my way. I wanted to get good intel, and that meant my presence couldn’t be known, otherwise it would all be compromised. I straightened back up as the threat of being detected passed as he weaved his way through the crowd until a woman in a skintight blue dress caught his attention. He turned as she walked past him, giving her an almost sinful look. A small bubble of annoyance formed inside me as he turned away from her and continued through the crowd. I mean we’re engaged for Christ’s sake! Could he stop being such a whore for five seconds? Now that my mom had been busy on social media, it was publicly known that we were engaged, and I did not need to be made a fool of. I pushed away my annoyance as an older man in a suit approached him. 

I quickly scooped my phone off the table and managed to snap a picture of them while they shook hands. They looked a lot like ‘business’ partners if I didn’t say so myself. I snapped a second picture just as Lucifer turned my way pointing in my general direction. Shit. I could tell by the way his posture immediately perked up a bit that he’d noticed me. I lowered my phone and went to shove it in my pocket when a bright pink, sugar rimmed drink adorned with a tiny purple umbrella was slammed down onto the table in front of me. I jumped slightly at the loud noise as I finished tucking my phone away.

“Oh, I didn’t order a drink,” I stated as I looked up to see a bartender. It took me a moment to realize I’d seen her before, back when Lucifer and I shared drinks during the Delilah case. Her flawless tanned skin and small black dress were more than enough to make most of the women here jealous.

“Courtesy of your soon to be husband,” She replied as she clasped her hands in front of her before smiling down at me hospitably.

“This is from Lucifer?” I questioned incredulously as I pointed to the frilly drink. I was fairly certain that he hadn’t seen me in here until just a moment ago, and if he had, all of the minimal intel I’d picked up tonight was worthless. Also, the frilly drink sitting in front of me didn’t seem like him. If he remembered anything from the last time we drank together he knew I was more than capable of handling the big boy’s alcohol.

“He asked me to make you something you’d like. Did I get it wrong?” Her tone morphed into something more hostile towards the ending. The corners of her smile turning down slightly, as her gaze grew colder.

“You and Lucifer seem really close.” I ignored the shift in attitude as I leaned in closer to her. Maybe she could tell me something about him that I could actually work with. Her smile grew slightly as she leaned down, bracing herself on the table in front of me.

“I followed him through the gates of hell,” She replied seriously. Starring me down as though she expected a big reaction, and she probably did but I definitely wasn’t going to give it to her.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I broke the silence, nodding softly. The woman in front of me let out a sarcastically playful laugh as she pulled the tiny purple umbrella from my drink, pulling the cherry from the end of it with her teeth before tossing it on the table in front of me and walking off. I sighed softly when I was alone once again, shaking my head as I wondered what was up with all of the brash, delusional people in Lucifer’s life. I didn’t get to wander too far down that train of thought before a few crisp piano notes filled the air as the music in Lux quieted down. I glanced over to the piano as the music continued, of course Lucifer was the one playing.

What the hell? I might as well try to get some answers out of him, it’s not like my presence was exactly unknown anymore. I stood and made my way down the short set of steps towards him, watching as he closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath before looking over towards me.

“Hello Detective,” He greeted me with a smile as I leaned against the piano. “Or should I come up with some pet name to call you since we’re engaged now?” He continued a moment later, and I forced myself not to roll my eyes at his question.

“Let’s stick with Detective,” I replied managing to keep my voice from sounding too annoyed or hostile as I plastered a fake smile on my face. He nodded his head softly as he looked down at the piano keys before him as he continued to tinker out a soft melody.

“How’s your undercover surveillance of my activities gone so far?” He questioned as his smile faded a bit, glancing back over at me once again. My fake smile disappeared with his question. I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew just how far back my ‘undercover surveillance’ went, or if he assumed it had just started tonight.

“I’ve known this for a while, but as far as I can tell you didn’t exist five years ago,” I began, my voice now lacking any warmth it may have carried before. Lucifer stopped playing, rolling his eyes and pressing his lips into a thin line as he grabbed a nearly empty glass off the top of his piano. He turned back towards me, glass in hand before a small smile found its way onto his face.

“Not on the earthly plane, no,” He answered with ease, his eyes deceivingly playful even though I knew he had to be hiding something big.

“People don’t just appear out of thin air,” I replied coldly, causing his smile to disappear once more as he turned back towards the piano in front of him. Shaking his head as he glared at the onyx and ivory beast in front of him. I knew he was going to ignore me unless I caught his attention so I leaned in closer, managing to catch his gaze once more. “Who were you? How did you bring my father back from the dead? How did you survive getting shot six times by Jimmy Barnes?” I questioned seriously as his expressions morphed from amused to playful, to smug.

“Is this your normal reaction to someone saving not only your life, but also your father’s life, and on top of that getting you such an elegant ring?” He answered my questions with one of his own. “Investigating them?” He finished with a shit eating grin. One I’d like to smack right off his face. Why couldn’t he just answer my damn questions?

“When I see stuff I can’t explain, yeah, I look for answers,” I explained, all humor gone from my voice.

“Well I’ve given you the answer Detective. It’s not my fault you won’t accept it.” He exclaimed happily, clearly he didn’t notice just how serious I was about figuring out the truth. I rolled my eyes as I pulled away from him, I’d had enough of his running around in circles to avoid the topics at hand. “You know what I think?” He questioned as he leaned back until it looked like he might topple off the stool he was perched on.

“I’ve stopped trying to guess,” I shook my head as a somewhat genuine smile managed to crawl out onto my face. Not even the lead doctor of a psych ward could figure out what thoughts must flit through Lucifer’s mind on a daily basis.

“I think you like me,” He leaned forward once again, his eyes alight with a mischievous spark.

“What part of the look on my face gives you that impression?” I questioned my voice growing annoyed as I pointed to myself.

“No, no. It’s not about the face. It’s about your eyes, what’s behind them. I think you see something that you truly desire and you, you don’t know what to do with yourself, do you?” He questioned his voice growing a tad bit raspier as he leaned in a bit, his eyes searching mine thoroughly. I considered rolling my eyes and walking off, but the memory of the last time he blatantly tried his little mind games on me brushed across the back of my mind. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to toy with him a bit. Besides, maybe I could figure something out by getting close to him. This would be a great opportunity to see if he wore any body armor under his suit, and if he did it would explain how he managed to survive getting shot six times. I decided to roll with it.

“Really?” I laughed as I tipped my head back. He chuckled at my response and I gave a flirty giggle in accordance as I shrugged and closed the distance between us.

“Well that’s more like it,” Lucifer said quietly as I sat down next to him. I scooted in closer until our shoulders were brushing. “Come now, no need to be shy, we are engaged after all,” He continued as I turned to face him better and he leaned down a bit. I was well aware of his eyes on my lips as I slid my hand between his vest and his shirt, and I couldn’t help but hope he wouldn’t try to kiss me. “Detective, I never knew you cared,” He stated, his voice growing deeper as his warm breath fanned across my face. I pressed my hand firmly against his body as I tried to feel for any thick kevlar under his shirt. His body was hard, but not kevlar and ceramic plates hard. I ran my hand from his shoulder over his pecs as I continued my search, when I felt the soft peak of his nipple under my fingers I couldn’t help but give a small experimental squeeze. He flinched back slightly as a bewildered expression crossed his face a surprised noise found its way out of his mouth. I couldn’t help but smile even wider at his reaction as the term ‘copping a feel’ flashed through my mind.

“Ooh,” I gasped softly as I met his eyes again, watching as his shock faded and lust filled the hole it’d left. I let my hand drift further down his body as I giggled, leaning back to flip my hair over my shoulder before crowding in extremely close once again. I pulled my hand from between the layers of his clothes as I tried my best to ignore the look on his face that practically screamed, ‘I’m going to fuck you so hard tonight’ and the small half-growl, half-moan that escaped his lips. I looked away and patted his chest as I spoke up. “No bullet-proof vest.”

“What?” He pulled back a bit as all traces of arousal immediately left his voice. I glanced up at him with a slight frown before turning away and standing up.

“I just couldn’t imagine how you’d get it under that suit, but I had to check,” I explained as I stepped away. “Let’s see, let’s see, let’s see,” I whispered to myself as I tapped my lips with a finger before turning around to see a completely miffed look on his face. I pointed to him before crossing my arms. “I’m gonna figure out your secret Lucifer,” I stated as his expression quickly turned to one of annoyance, his mouth turning down in a slight frown.

“It’s not a secret if I’m telling you the answer! It’s…” He began, his voice harsh and annoyed. He trailed off as he realized I wasn’t really listening. I was trying to figure out what else could explain surviving so many gunshots without a scratch. Just because he wasn’t wearing a bulletproof vest now didn’t mean he couldn’t have worn one that day, I reminded myself before turning around to look back over at him as unusual silence surrounded us. 

“Why don’t I affect you, Detective? What makes you different?” He questioned, his face no longer showing any signs of annoyance, now he only looked completely confused.

“I guess we both have our mysteries,” I stated blandly as I shook my head. He looked down at the piano for a moment, a vexed expression crossing his face before he looked back up at me with a playful smirk.

“Well, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” He stated as he shrugged his eyebrows suggestively. I sighed and rolled my eyes at his childish sex joke. I was just going to make a come back about how I couldn’t be less interested in ‘his’ when my phone rang. I reached into my pocket and pulled it out glancing at Dan’s name flashing across my screen as Lucifer scoffed. “Oh, not with that again,” He scoffed. I swiped to answer before pulling it up to my ear and I leaned against the piano.

“Decker,” I answered just before Dan’s voice filled my ear.

“Chloe, there was a bad accident downtown, there was a fatality. It looks like Nick Offerman is very possibly involved.” It took me a moment to realize what Dan was saying. I might actually have a chance at getting revenge by locking Nick behind bars.

“You sure?” I questioned my voice coming out slightly excited even though I tried to keep it neutral.

“Yeah, he’s on the scene. We only have one unit there at the moment but it’s incredibly suspicious. I got the case and I’m going to head over in a few. I just thought, that maybe you might want to come take a peak? I know how much crap he’s put you through in the past.” Dan explained and I nodded my head softly. He was damn right I wanted to come take a peak.

“Yes. Yes, um. Please send me the address. I owe you one.”

“Oh finally,” I stated to myself as I pocketed my phone. I had waited for so long to take down Nick or even just see someone else take him down. I glanced up at Lucifer to see him watching me with rapt attention. He stood as he continued staring at me.

“Now that affected you. What was it?” He questioned with a wide smile. I ignored him as I turned and began to walk away. “Detective?” I heard him question from behind me but I continued to make my way out. I had to call my Dad and tell him what just happened. “Detective!?” Lucifer called out once again but I continued to ignore him. It was already nearly three in the morning, it would take them a few hours to get the crime scene under control, then at least another hour to document all the evidence. I pushed past the intoxicated bodies as I made my way out of Lux, the only thought on my mind that I was finally going to get justice.

\---***---

My siren blared as I swerved between traffic, I couldn’t believe Lucifer. He’d gotten involved in a case that didn’t involve him at all and now I had a horrible feeling that he was going to get someone killed. The second I’d found out that both Nick Offerman and Josh Bryant were missing I knew it had to be something to do with Lucifer, and when the LoJack system on his car pinged to a road bordering an abandoned construction site it just verified my suspicions. I’d managed to grab my dad from his desk and shove him into my car as I explained my theory. I knew that if Lucifer was involved in this I’d feel more comfortable with some immediate backup. He sat beside me now as I swerved between cars that didn’t yield to the shoulder quickly enough as I zoomed past.

I shook my head as I thought over this case. Lucifer had chosen to get involved the second he noticed it meant something to me. From the moment he somehow managed to get into the interrogation room with Nick and learned about how he had crashed my grandfather’s funeral Lucifer absolutely refused to let it go. I could only imagine what kind of crazy, sadistic punishment he’d plotted out for the two of them.

I turned off my lights and siren as we neared the block his car’s GPS was pinging at. Turning the corner before my headlights illuminated some sort of gun standoff between Nick and Josh, unsurprisingly Lucifer and his bartender stood nearby watching everything unfold before them. I cursed under my breath as I parked and jumped out of the car, immediately pulling my service weapon from its holster.

“Stop!” I yelled as I ran over. The sound of my father’s footsteps following right behind me. “Don’t shoot him!” I yelled as I pointed my gun at Nick.

“Detective! You’re interrupting my punishment!” Lucifer whined angrily from the other side of the stand-off. Rage filled me and I forced myself to hold it back, I’d deal with him later.

“You don’t talk. You’re lucky I figured out your insane, ironic punishment before anyone got killed,” I growled before looking back over at Nick. The gun in his hands was shaking as he pointed it at Josh. “Nick. You tried to do some good. To help someone. Don’t throw it all away.” I stated my voice growing gentler even though I was terrified of what could possibly happen.

“Nick. Embrace who you really are. Stop fighting it. Come on.” Lucifer goaded him on. I had never wanted to shoot Lucifer as badly as I wanted to in that moment. I was de-escalating the situation and he was trying to do the exact opposite.

“Don’t listen to him, Nick. You tried to change.” I stated my voice growing firmer. Nick nodded shakily before glancing over at me.

“Yeah. And look what happened.” His voice shook as he looked back over at Josh. I shook my head at his response, nothing bad had happened, not yet anyway. I lowered my gun as I tried talking to him like a normal person.

“Yeah. You screwed up, but it’s okay. You tried to change. That’s what’s important. Don’t do this.”

“Listen to her Nick. You can still have a life after this. You won’t do any jail time if you just admit this was all Josh’s doing,” My father spoke up from next to me, trying to give him yet another reason to put down his gun.

“Nick. Don’t.” My voice was just louder than a whisper. Please do the right thing Nick. Please. Tense silence filled the air around us for a few seconds, and then the deafening sound of a gunshot rang out. I flinched slightly as I raised my gun as quickly as possible, but the next second instead of the dense thud of a bullet piercing skin all I heard was Josh’s surprised gasp and Nick’s rough breaths just before Josh grabbed his junk and fell onto the pavement. Disbelief filled me as I realized that everyone was fine, nobody had just died. I looked over at my father who looked equally unnerved before looking back at the scene before me. Something, or someone more specifically, was missing though.

“Are you looking for someone?” Lucifer’s voice was suddenly in my ear and I jumped slightly, drawing in a few surprised breaths before turning to look at him. A huge toothy grin spread across his face. I looked from him back over to his bartender, who was still in the same place she had been a second ago even though he wasn’t. I glanced back up at Lucifer before taking a small step away from him.

“What? You were just over there.” I whispered shakily as I shook my head and stared at the pavement under my feet. “That’s im—That’s impossible.” I stammered before glancing back up at him once again, only earning a shrug and a smirk. This isn’t possible. It’s just not. I glanced over at my father, immediately noticing how pale he looked. Not that I couldn’t blame him, I was feeling about the same right now. As our eyes met I actually saw fear in his, something I had seen on my father so few times I could count all of the instances on one hand. He swallowed heavily before breaking the nerve-wracking silence.

“Get the guns, Chloe. I’ll call for backup.” His voice shook slightly before he turned and walked off towards my squad car. I holstered my gun numbly before walking forward to pick up both of the guns laying on the pavement, I could follow orders right now but I couldn’t really think.

“Are you alright, Detective?” Lucifer spoke up as he stepped towards me. I avoided looking at him as I stared at the pavement even when his shoes came into view.

“Please leave,” I requested softly as his shoes stopped right in front of me. He let out a half chuckle before speaking up once again.

“Chloe.” I jumped away as soon as I felt his hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see a small frown on his face.

“I said go away, Lucifer,” I spoke up this time, my voice demanding as I somehow managed to keep it from shaking. His frown grew and he nodded softly before his eyes met mine.

“As you wish, Detective,” He stated coldly before stepping around me, the sound of his footsteps receding until his car turned on and I heard him drive away. I stood there in silence as I waited for the shock to wear off but it didn’t, my father broke me out of my trance-like state once again though.

“Chloe. Put those in the car. Then handcuff Nick,” He offered as he patted my arm and I nodded softly before following his directions. Everything went by in sort of a blurry haze as backup arrived and took Nick and Josh away. I found myself sitting half in, half out of my patrol car as I stared at the pavement under my feet. This was the third time Lucifer had done something completely inexplicable in front of me, and the thought that he might actually be the Devil was absolutely terrifying at this point. 

“You doing okay sweetheart?” My father’s voice broke the silence pulling me out of my trance. I looked up at him to see that all the other units had already gone on their way. It was just me and him now.

“I don’t—I honestly don’t know.” I replied truthfully as I shook my head. “When you were in the hospital, and you said Lucifer was the…real, Devil. Were you trying to warn me?” I questioned softly as our eyes met. He frowned softly before crouching down in front of me and taking my hands in his.

“I wasn’t thinking straight back then Chloe. I was a mess. You would be to if you went through everything did. I was just trying to justify something that didn’t make sense and Lucifer was an easy out. I don’t honestly think he’s anything more than an incredibly suspicious club owner.” He answered calmly his eyes boring into mine. I nodded softly at his response, he was right. The Devil doesn’t exist.

“So you were just…” I trailed off in the middle of my question but my father knew what I was going to ask.

“I was just talking out of my ass, Chloe.”

“Good,” I replied softly as I nodded. My father gave me a soft smile before patting my back.

“I’ll drive home,” He offered as he helped me up and lead me over to the passenger side of the car, helping me in before getting in his own side and pulling away from the scene. Despite my father’s admissions I still had a very bad feeling about everything that had just happened. But despite the worry that was still brewing inside of me I knew I had to figure out the truth.

\---***---

I took a deep breath as I stared up at the entrance to Lux. Last night I’d seen Lucifer do yet another thing I couldn’t explain, and I still had my doubts about going to face him today. After dropping Trixie off at school I went to the mental hospital Jimmy Barnes had been placed in. I didn’t know what I expected of him, I mean, he was in a mental hospital for a reason. When I’d asked him about Lucifer all he did was start screaming about how Lucifer was the Devil before banging his head into the wall until nurses had to come and sedate him. I took another deep breath. You can do this Chloe. I told myself before opening the door to Lux and slipping inside. Lux was technically closed at one in the afternoon, and not a single soul was in the building as far as I could tell.

“Lucifer!” I shouted as I made my way down the staircase and looked around for any glimpse of a living creature. His bartender poked her head out of a door before looking me up and down and walking over towards the bar.

“He’s not here,” She explained patiently as she leaned on the bar and watched me as I made my way over to her.

“Do you know where he is?” I questioned softly as I stood in front of her. She shrugged before grabbing a glass off the bar and filling it with amber liquid.

“A therapy appointment I think,” She answered as she took a long drink from her glass. Her answer caught me off guard.

“Lucifer goes to therapy?” I questioned, my voice laced with my disbelief.

“What? He doesn’t seem like that kind of person to you?” She questioned as she took a seat at the bar and watched me carefully as she tapped her fingernails on her glass, sending sharp staccato noises echoing through the empty room.

“Not really, no.” I answered with a slight smile as I sat next to her and stared at the marble counter under my hands.

“I know right?” She stated before tipping back the rest of her glass. “You want a drink?” She asked as she refilled her glass. I considered saying no, but with everything that had happened the last few days it was safe to say I could use one.

“Something strong please,” I requested as I looked up at her. She smiled wickedly as she grabbed another glass and placed it in front of me. She picked up the unmarked bottle she’d poured herself a drink from before filling my glass halfway. I took the glass, swirling the liquid around inside before taking a sip, the familiar bite of whiskey burning into my tongue. We sat in silence for a while, I couldn’t feasibly guess where the bartender's mind was, but mine was replaying a scene from Lux I’d stumbled in on a couple of days ago.

I’d just made my way through the doors of the nearly empty club when Lucifer’s obviously angry voice echoed through the room, even though he was well out of sight. “You will not speak to me this way!” I’d never heard him talk to anyone that way before and I felt slightly worried about what I was walking in on until I reached the top of the staircase to see him and his bartender pressed chest to chest as she dragged her fingers down his neck. In that moment I was only annoyed to see that he was still obviously whoring around, the green-eyed monster had become more and more frequent in my life these last few days everytime I caught Lucifer in someone else’s personal space. But as I thought back over the moment now I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly had been going on between the two of them. I pulled myself from my thoughts as I looked over at the woman sitting next to me.

“You and Lucifer were fighting pretty good when I came in here a few days ago,” I remarked as I carefully watched for her reaction. She shrugged before taking another sip of her drink.

“We do that sometimes,” She answered casually as she set her glass down on the bar before leaning in closer to me. I nodded softly as I looked back at the drink in my hands. I still couldn’t get the image out of my mind of the two of them standing there despite the bartender’s easy answer. Lucifer had just looked so tense, almost ready to snap tense. It was something I’d seen before on domestic violence scenes, and no matter how I tried I just couldn’t shake the parallels. I glanced back over at the woman staring curiously at me, she studied me so similarly to the way Lucifer did that if I didn’t know better I would have pegged them as siblings.

“Has he ever...” I trailed off as I shook my head before taking another sip of my whiskey. “Ever hit you or anything?” I interrogated as I looked back up at her, carefully searching for any signs of trauma. She tipped her head back and laughed at my question, it certainly wasn’t the reaction I expected out of her. When she finally got a hold of herself she leaned in close to me, a wide grin on her face.

“What? You scared of what your future holds?” She questioned, her voice joking as she nodded towards the ring on my finger. I nibbled my lower lip slightly before answering.

“Should I be?” I asked softly as I searched her eyes. I hadn’t been concerned about anything like that from him, but now that she had brought it up I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a reason she had. She sobered up quickly, her smile faded as she leaned back on her seat.

“Look. I’ve known Lucifer for a very long time, and I know him better than most of the people he hangs around with.” She began, her voice completely serious as she stared back at me unwaveringly. “And it pains me to say this, but I know for a fact that Lucifer would never lay a finger on you with the intention of causing you harm,” She finished, her voice just as serious as it had been when she’d started. I nodded softly, as I stared at my drink once more. So I was right when I believed there wasn’t any reason to worry about anything like that. I glanced back up at the bartender as something else flashed through my mind.

“That still doesn’t answer my question though,” I spoke up softly as I perused her features, mostly wondering how she got the scar that cut through her eyebrow. Just because she said I was safe from Lucifer’s wrath didn’t mean she was. A smirk covered her face as she leaned in incredibly close until I could smell the alcohol on her breath.

“The only times Lucifer has ever hit me, are the times I’ve asked him to,” She answered with a seductive voice that I was sure worked wonders in the bedroom. It took me a moment for everything to sink in before I sighed and rubbed my temples with my hands.

“Ugh, God. Is that some sort of creepy sex thing you two do?”

“What? You’ve never done any kinky shit?” She questioned, seeming almost insulted as she pulled out of my personal space.

“No. I can’t say I have.” I answered seriously as I shook my head at her. She huffed silently as she looked at me as though she was sizing me up.

“You do look pretty vanilla,” She admitted after a moment before standing up. “You can have the bottle, Lucifer won’t care. I have work to do. He should be back soon though. Ya’ know, if you feel like hanging around,” She stated as she turned and began to walk away.

“Thanks,” I offered as I watched her disappear through the door she’d originally appeared from.

“Don’t mention it.” Her voice reached my ears even though she was well out of sight. I shook my head softly as I traced the glass under my fingertips before finishing my drink and pouring another. What am I doing here? I know Lucifer’s just going to avoid my questions like he always does. And I had so many questions, they just kept piling up. I swirled the whiskey around in my glass, as I thought over how to pose my newest set of questions to him.

“Is that really you Detective?” Well, speak of the Devil. 

I looked over my shoulder to see Lucifer standing at the top of the short flight of stairs. “I thought I wouldn’t see you for at least a week,” He continued as he made his way down them and towards me.

“Well here I am.”

“Here you are,” He said softly as he leaned against the bar at my side. I glanced up at him to see him studying me carefully. “Look, Detective. About last night –“

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” I spoke up immediately before taking another sip of my drink.

“Of course it is.” He sighed as he reached across the bar to grab a glass of his own. He placed the empty glass in front of himself before taking the whiskey bottle and pouring himself a generous amount. “Well, let me just start by saying I didn’t mean to scare you so badly.” He offered as he stared down at me. I shook my head as I began lifting my own glass to my lips.

“It’s fine—”

“No. It’s not.” He cut me off as he pushed my glass back down against the bar before I got the chance to drink from it. “I didn’t like the way it…felt, when you looked at me the way you did last night, and I’d prefer it if you never had cause to look at me that way again,” He explained gently as he stared down at me with what I almost thought was concern.

“What way?” The question came out in a whisper as I stared him down, trying to accurately read anything he was feeling at the moment. His brow furrowed and his mouth pressed into a frown at my question.

“Like you feared me.” He replied before sitting down next to me. He took a long drink from his glass before speaking up once again. “I can still tell you’re a bit off. Don’t try to deny it.” Part of me had a hard time believing he was that perceptive, or that he actually cared about what I thought about him, but here he was showing that he did at least a little bit.

“Of course I’m still a bit off Lucifer. I saw Nick pull the trigger. I heard the gunshot, but Josh wasn’t shot.” I shook my head as I ran through last night’s incident in my head for the hundredth time today. “Did you put blanks in the guns? Like…Was that all just some staged thing to get a confession out of Josh?” I questioned as I stared at Lucifer as he finished off the rest of his glass before reaching for the bottle again.

“Mmm. That’s probably much more plausible to you than my angelic brother slowing time while I plucked a bullet out of thin air, isn’t it?” He questioned as he stared me down and poured his second drink without looking at what he was doing. Why had I expected an answer that would actually make sense? 

“Even with all that, you were standing right in front of me. I blink, and you’re right here.” I held my hand up inches from my ear just to further prove my point.

“Is there a question there, Detective?”

“You…” I shook my head as I looked away from him and down at the glass before me. “You know exactly what I’m asking you,” I stated firmly as I looked back over at him.

“And you know exactly what I’ll answer,” He responded with a smile, his eyes turning from serious to playful.

“I need the truth, Lucifer.”

“I’m the Devil, Detective. That is the truth,” He answered very seriously as he finished his second drink before placing his empty glass on the bar. I wished he would cut the I’m the Devil crap already, but I had a feeling it was something I was going to have to get used to. I watched as Lucifer reached into the pocket of his suit jacket before pulling something tiny out. “You know, it’s quite fun, this police malarkey. Isn’t it?” He questioned as he tossed whatever was in his hand in the air before catching it with ease. I stared at him instead of answering his question and silence filled the room for a moment. “Here, I believe this is what you refer to as evidence. I figured you might want it.” He broke the silence as he placed what I quickly identified as a bullet without the casing down in front of me. 

I shook my head before picking it up and staring at it critically, at this point I honestly hoped when the lab got done with it that they would tell me it wasn’t the same caliber as the gun Nick had. I tucked the bullet in my pocket before letting silence fill the room around us. I slowly sipped from my glass before I remembered what Trixie had asked me back at the hospital.

“Are you free this Saturday? Around two in the afternoon?” I broke the silence as I turned to look at Lucifer.

“A bit early for a date, don’t you think?” He chuckled as he folded his hands in front of himself. I stared back at him instead of answering. He pinched the bridge of this nose and sighed before actually answering my question. “Yes, I’m free.” I smiled at his answer before digging my wallet out of my back pocket and pulling out one of my business cards. I stood up as I tucked my wallet back inside of my pocket and made my way around to the other side of the bar where a pen was lying. I quickly scribbled down the address of my family’s go-to ice cream parlor on the back before handing the card to Lucifer.

“Great, because I promised Trixie she’d get to meet you.” I replied as he stared down at the card with a confused expression. The second I finished talking he glanced up at me with an expression that could make hell freeze over.

“If you had told me you wanted me to spend time with your spawn before I answered, my answer would have been a no,” He stated coldly as he glared at me. I couldn’t help but smile even more at his reaction. It was high time I put him through hell.

“Which is exactly why I didn’t tell you earlier,” I answered before making my way out from behind the bar and towards the staircase. “Don’t be late, 'kay?” I shouted over my shoulder as I began to climb up the stairs.

“I don’t know why they call me the Devil. You’re clearly the greater of two evils!” Lucifer’s shouted back and I couldn’t help but laugh.


	4. The Spawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer winds up grudgingly spending some much-needed bonding time with Trixie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, a huge thank you to my spectacular beta editor Valifecent! Your work on this story is so very appreciated! Secondly, I'd like to thank BigKahuna, CarolineCC, Greenleaf, Lzod, CrystalnaduStarrvan, zerousy, and justafandomfollower for your reviews on the last chapter! Your words mean so much to me! And last, but certainly not least, I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to leave a kudos on this work! Thank you for your encouragement!

_**L. Morningstar** _

I drew in another long nicotine filled breath as my eyes continued to flick over the page in front of me. I couldn’t believe that I was actually doing this for someone. I despise children, yet here I am waiting for one to show up. The only redeeming quality of this place were all the desperate, lonely housewives who kept smiling and waving at me. I had considered standing Chloe and her spawn up, but I had told the Detective that I would be there. Besides, Linda had told me that I would never hear the end of it if I did, then went on to lecture me about how children are not evil. Like she knew what evil looked like. Linda had actually been very helpful with helping me prepare though; telling me what kind of things to ask the tiny human to try and make small talk, convincing me not to wear a suit and instead opt for something that made me look ‘softer and more approachable’ as she had said, which only resulted in me ditching the suit jacket and rolling the sleeves of my shirt up past my elbows.

The sound of the metal legs on the chair in front of me scraping against the cement pulled my attention back to the present. I looked up to see the Detective’s spawn climbing into the chair across from me. The Detective standing behind her daughter as she looked me over. Our eyes met for just a moment before her daughter spoke up, drawing my attention away.

“Hi! I’m Beatrice, but everybody calls me Trixie,” She greeted as she held out a hand for me to shake. I closed my book with a soft thud as I eyed her hand, she appeared to be clean enough to touch safely. I quickly stubbed my cigarette out on the edge of the table before holding out my hand towards her in return. The spawn wrapped her hand around two of my fingers, shaking it much too vigorously before letting go, I couldn’t help but wipe my hand off on my pants instinctually. Human children are basically walking cesspools.

“Lucifer,” I replied, managing to keep the disdain in my voice down to surprisingly low levels. The spawn’s eyes grew large at my introduction as she leaned in over the table, causing me to lean back in return, lest she accidentally breathe on me or something.

“Like the Devil!?” She whispered loudly and I couldn’t help the grin that found its way to my face. No one had ever responded to me this way. It was nice to finally get the recognition I deserved.

“Precisely,” I replied happily. As I looked the tiny human up and down as I tried to figure out what made her capable of making the connection even though most did not.

“I’m going to run inside real quick, keep an eye on her ‘kay?” The Detective spoke up and I glanced at her before nodding my silent agreement. A strange silence fell between the spawn and I after Chloe disappeared, the small human stared at me as though she was trying to size up what kind of guardian I would be.

“So, you and mommy are getting married?” She broke the silence as she laid her hands on the table before her, intertwining her tiny fingers.

“We are,” I responded with a nod as I tapped my fingers on the leather cover of the book under my hand.

“Are we going to move in with you, or are you going to move in with us?” She questioned as she tilted her head slightly, her eyes searching mine in a way that made me want to shift uncomfortably in my chair.

“We haven’t discussed that yet. Most likely the former though,” I answered with a shrug of my shoulders. I knew for a fact that I would do everything in my power to convince the Detective to move into Lux instead of wherever she was living. Lux offered luxuries that most other places in this city lacked, and I wasn’t about to regress into a poorer state of living. The spawn nodded at my answer before her head tilted a bit more.

“Do you love my mommy?” Her question caught me completely off guard. I leaned in closer to her as I studied her face carefully, unfortunately, it didn’t look like her question was supposed to be a joke.

“I am the Devil,” I answered slowly, emphasizing each word as it left my lips.

“So? Who said the Devil can’t love anyone?” She questioned with a shrug of her shoulders. I tilted my head at her response. I had never had someone say anything like that to me. Something that insinuated I might be capable of actually feeling anything like that ever again, that I might be able to let the armor that I’d carefully honed over eons of vengeful anger and calloused mercy down for someone. I was nothing like the angel I had once been and I couldn’t imagine being like that ever again. Life had hardened me, and I doubted I could ever be soft again.

“What are you reading?” The spawns question pulled me from my internal battle just as easily as she’d caused it to begin with.

“War and peace, volume two,” I answered quickly. Why couldn’t she ask me more simple questions like that? Why did she have to ask the questions I, unfortunately, now paid my therapist to ask? I watched as she pulled the thick volume out from under my hand and opened it.

“This isn’t English,” She stated blatantly as she looked up from the pages to stare at me curiously.

“It’s mostly Russian, a bit of French thrown in here and there,” I replied as I rubbed a hand over my jaw. The spawn nodded in response as she flipped through a few more pages of the book before closing it.

“It must be nice to speak all the languages,” She spoke up as she slid the book back over to me. Her question peaked my curiosity and I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly made her assume I spoke every language. I mean, she was right but…How?

“What makes you think I’m fluent in every language?”

“Well you’re the Devil. You have to be, don’t you?” She answered my question with one of her own. I sat there in shocked silence for a long moment as I tried to figure out what was going on with this small human.

“Tell me, Beatrice.” I questioned softly. I knew I probably shouldn’t be doing this but I couldn’t help the nagging feeling that something was just as different with the Detective’s spawn, perhaps the same thing that made the Detective herself different. “What do you des—“

“I’m back. Want to go get ice cream monkey?” The Detective poked her head out of the building cutting me off immediately. Bloody Hell, I cursed internally at her bad timing.

“Yes!” The child shouted as she sprinted over towards her mother before disappearing inside the building. I sat there for a few moments longer, trying to figure out what was going on with the Decker ladies.

“Are you coming?” The Detective spoke up from the door. I looked up at her before nodding as I sighed heavily. I stood and grabbed my book, walking over to my Corvette parked on the curb and placing it on the passenger seat before following the Detective and her spawn inside the building. It was somehow even more horrifying on the inside; everything was painted with bright neon colors, there were terrible taxing burdens seated at nearly every table, and the hats the staff were wearing were just tasteless.

“This place is my own personal hell,” I said softly, more to myself than anyone else but as soon as the lovely Detective looked over at me I knew she had heard.

“What do you have against kids?” She questioned as she watched me carefully. I shrugged as I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

“They’re basically demons, the only difference is they don’t respect me as their Lord.” I answered honestly as one shrieked loudly, causing me to jump a bit.

“I don’t know why I even bother asking anymore,” She sighed heavily as she rolled her eyes and turned back to her spawn who was eyeing the ice cream display case with more enthusiasm than I had ever felt in my whole life.

“Hi! What can I get for you guys today?” I was so completely unnerved and out of my element I even jumped a bit when the employee's loud bubbly voice broke through the already loud ice cream parlor.

“Can I have chocolate ice cream with gummy worms and brownie’s mixed in?” The Detective’s spawn asked. “Oh! And with fudge on the top!” She added as the employee smiled at her.

“What size?”

“Small,” The Detective spoke up before her spawn could. Probably a good call, human children were so greedy. The employee nodded before setting to work. I tried to calm my anxious nerves as time passed much too slowly.

The employee returned after what felt like an eternity before taking the Detective’s order, a medium strawberry, with banana slices, pecans, and caramel. So the Detective was a strawberry banana type of person, not my favorite but she could’ve done much worse, that’s for certain. At least she didn’t order some monstrosity like her spawn had.

“And you, sir?” The young woman’s voice broke me out of my thoughts and I glanced up at her slowly.

“Dark chocolate, large,” I answered briskly before the Detective let out a small laugh. I glanced over at her to see that she was watching me with something close to humor on her face.

“What?” I questioned, my confusion clear in my voice as I stared down at her.

“Nothing. I just sort of figured that you wouldn’t be the type of person who enjoyed lighter flavors. Not really a vanilla guy right?” The Detective stated with a small shrug, but the tone of her voice and the look in her eyes alluded to the hidden meaning in her words that I immediately picked up on. You sly little minx, making parallels between ice cream and sex right in the middle of the crowded parlor. A roguish smile crossed my face as I leaned down closer to her, my eyes holding her own mischievous one’s captive.

“I’m fully capable of appreciating every flavor for its uniqueness. They’re all enjoyable in the right company,” I replied, my sultry voice just louder than a whisper. I watched her expression slowly morph into surprise as her eyes searched mine as though looking for some falsity to what I’d said. A moment later she seemed to accept the truth of my words, giving me a lush smile as she leaned in just a little closer.

“Yeah? How many flavors have you had the opportunity to try?” She questioned quietly before running her tongue over her bottom lip quickly. I chuckled quietly at her question as I leaned in ever so slightly.

“That would be easier to answer if you asked me which one’s I haven’t tried,” I answered and the Detective immediately laughed, the melodic sound filling the room and drawing the attention of the adults present. I was about to ask her what she thought was so funny when the employee spoke up, pulling my attention away from the Detective.

“Anything mixed in?” I stood there for a long moment in silence. I was just about to say no when the Detective’s spawn accidentally stepped on my foot. The small human looked up at me before mouthing the word sorry and stepping away a bit.

“Can you do them on the side?” I questioned as I realized that although I might despise the thought of adding anything to my own food I was in the presence of those who enjoyed it. The employee nodded her answer. “Gummy worms, on the side,” I requested as I remembered Linda’s words, ‘Women enjoy it when men consistently remember the little things about them and their children’. I glanced down at Chloe for a brief moment only to see her staring at me.

“You’re the type of man who likes gummy worms?” She questioned incredulously as she watched me closely.

“What can I say, darling? I’m a mystery,” I replied with a shrug and a smirk. She shook her head before turning away and walking off a few paces. I stayed planted in my spot as I watched the employee put the finishing touches on our desserts, the soft drone of the Detective talking to someone else pulled my attention over to her. “What do you think you’re doing?” I questioned as I watched the Detective pull her wallet out of her pocket.

“Paying.” The Detective rolled her eyes as she turned back to the young man operating the register. I stepped forward, nudging her out of the way.

“Step aside,” I sighed as the Detective took a step back and I fished my money clip out of my pocket.

“Lucifer, I can pay the twenty bucks,” The Detective protested as I pulled a crisp hundred from the bundle in my hands. I watched the employee’s eyes grow large as he took the bill from me.

“Darling, I have no doubt that there will be many points of disagreement between us. However, please don’t let something as trivial as money be one of them. Surely our relationship can go beyond such matters,” I replied as I turned back to face her. She shook her head softly as she returned her wallet to her pocket. The employee tried to offer me my change and I wound up refusing all but fifty of it. I never carried anything smaller than fifties, it just got too messy that way.

I took the flimsy plastic tray holding our frozen desserts and followed the ladies outside to the patio table I’d been sitting at originally. I set the tray on the table before pulling out the spawn’s and then the Detective’s chairs, managing to earn a real smile from the Detective in the process. I sat across from the spawn in hopes that the distance would prevent her from accidentally touching me, or breathing on my food. I waited until both of them had retrieved their desserts before taking my own and a bright green plastic spoon to accompany it. I picked up the smaller container of on-the-side mix-ins that was filled to the brim with gummy worms before placing it in front of Beatrice. She glanced over at it before looking up at me.

“Are these for me?” The spawn questioned as she rested a finger on the top of the container.

“Why else would I put them in front of you?” I asked as I pried the plastic lid off my dessert before stabbing the spoon into it.

“I don’t know,” She answered as she pulled the plastic top off before dumping the rubbery squiggles on top of her ice cream. “To tease me,” She proposed as she began to mash them into her dessert. I tried to ignore the messy and altogether slightly unappetizing way she was treating her food as I took a bite of my own.

“Do people tease you a lot?” I asked as I dug another spoonful of ice cream from my cup.

“There’s this one boy in my class, he can be pretty mean sometimes.” She answered with a shrug as she took a bite so large I was fairly certain that it wouldn’t fit in her mouth, but somehow she managed it. I forced myself not to shiver at the sight, so much gluttony from such a tiny human. I tried to push the image from my mind as I thought about what the spawn had said.

“Do you want me to dispose of him for you?” I questioned as I took another bite of my dessert.

“Lucifer!” The Detective spoke up as one of her arms lashed out to gently smack my arm and the spawn began laughing.

“It was just a question,” I stated slightly grudgingly. Silence grew between us all for a few moments and I focused on the food in front of me. I had to admit it was much better that I’d expected, but it still wasn’t worth dealing with so many horrifying children. Perhaps I could introduce the Detective and her spawn to a different ice cream parlor, one less overrun with loud, dirty creatures.

“What do you do Lucifer?” Beatrice spoke up between bites, pulling my attention away from my ramblings.

“What?” I questioned. Was that supposed to make any sense?

“Mommy’s a Detective. What do you do?” The spawn elaborated a moment later.

“I own a nightclub.”

“What’s a nightclub?” She questioned, her head tilting ever so slightly even though she refused to look up from her ice cream.

“It’s where adults go to make new friends,” The Detective jumped into the conversation before I could answer her spawn’s question.

“Not the definition I would’ve provided but I suppose it works,” I stated with a shrug, earning a sharp glare from the Detective.

“That’s cool. Do you like it?” The spawn asked happily as she looked up at me, chocolate dribbling down her chin. I forced myself to swallow the food in my mouth even though the sight was enough to quell my appetite for what I was sure would be the rest of eternity.

“It has its perks,” I answered easily as I watched the child pick up a napkin and wipe her face. I looked over the spawn carefully as I considered whether or not it would be inappropriate to ask the question on my mind. I knew older humans didn’t appreciate it when you tried to speculate on their age but did the younger one’s care? “How old are you?”

“I’m seven. How old are you?” She questioned as she stared at me curiously.

“Ancient,” I replied, my voice serious. Neither of the ladies sitting at the table with me seemed to realize just how serious I was though because they both broke into laughter at my answer.

“Isn’t he funny mom?” The spawn asked her mother who nodded with a smile as she tried to control her laughing. I shook my head softly for I was ancient. I was older than their planet, yet they still sat here laughing as though I’d made some sort of funny joke. I’d never completely understand humans, especially the two sitting before me.

The spawn continued to barrage me with questions of minor importance. Things like what my hobbies were. I didn’t even know what a hobby was until the spawn explained that they were things you do to keep yourself entertained when you’re bored. Most of my hobbies included drugs and sex, but I chose not to enlighten the spawn on those topics. I was fairly certain the Detective wouldn’t approve of me explaining what the rush of cocaine felt like, or what an Eiffel Tower was to her offspring. Instead, I opted to tell her about my piano; which also turned out to be a mistake when the small human started begging me to teach her how to play, and I unfortunately had no choice but to agree to a few lessons to get her to quiet down. The spawn went on to explain how she favored drawing, crafts, and TV cartoons before bestowing me with the knowledge that her mother preferred reading and ‘outdoorsy stuff’, whatever that was supposed to mean.

The next trivial question was no less bothersome. When she asked what my favorite color was I was at a loss for words for a moment. Did humans really pick a color out of all the others that they thought was better? I’d never exactly formed a favoritism to any one color in particular. I decided to go with black, it was a color I’d grown accustomed to in hell, it was elegant yet subtle. The spawn decided to tell me that wasn’t acceptable because ‘black and white aren’t real colors’ to which all I replied with was an eye roll and the retort that it was a color if I said it was. The spawn continued the topic to explain that she liked pink, this time though, she didn’t offer any useful information about her mother.

Eventually the dreaded topic of holidays came up. Of course, the spawn’s favorite one just had to be Christmas, my infamous half-brothers supposed ‘birthday’ even though he had been born in the springtime. When she asked which holiday I preferred from the rest I blatantly told her that I’m not the type to celebrate them. Sure, I used them to my advantage when it came to Lux, humans seemed to love the themed dress up’s that holidays often called for; and I even went along with it from time to time but not often. The spawn looked horrified by my answer, she even fell silent for a few seconds much to my surprise. But then she just launched into questions of whether or not I’d agree to celebrate the holidays with her and her mother once we were all living together. The best she got out of me was an agreement that I wasn’t going to stop them from celebrating whatever they wanted to. An easy silence fell over our small group as we all focused on finishing our icy desserts, but apparently even that wasn’t sacred in the presence of human children because it didn’t last long before the spawn was asking more questions.

“What was hell like?” I looked up from my now empty cup as I wondered if I’d heard the child correctly. No human had ever asked me about hell, at least not the specifics of it like this one was.

“Trixie!” The Detective scolded her daughter a moment after she’d asked the question. I spoke up before the spawn could apologize, or before the Detective could scold her further. No need to scold curiosity after all.

“It was...is...different, than how you humans always seem to try and portray it,” I answered as I watched the small human across from me carefully. Hell was a subject I’d never talked heavily on, I had no idea how it was going to affect humans.

“So no fire everywhere?” The spawn questioned as she stared back at me unfalteringly.

“Not everywhere,” I answered as I twined my fingers together in front of me. We sat there as silence filled the air for a few seconds as our stare down continued, neither of us blinking as we observed the other.

“You’re not as scary as I thought you would be.” The spawn broke the silence first as she gave me a small smile. Her observation legitimately confused me, and judging by the look on the Detective’s perfect features her daughter’s brazen statement caught her off guard as well.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I questioned, unable to hide the slight tone of annoyance lacing my voice. I was the Devil. A human child was accusing me of not being scary enough? Preposterous!

“You’re supposed to be the scariest thing ever, even more than spiders. Right? But you’re not scary at all,” The child explained a moment later. I paused a moment to take in what she said before I felt the need to defend myself.

“I’m not trying to be scary,” I replied callously a moment later. My nastier side was enough to make some of the most steadfast humans wet themselves, the lesser ones wound up like Jimmy Barnes, stuck somewhere in a mental hospital raving mad. The Detective seemed to notice that this conversation was only going to lead to a disagreement between her spawn and myself because she ended it quickly.

“We should probably get going. You have homework to finish.” She directed the first half to me and the second half to her spawn who seemed to deflate at the prospect of leaving.

“Okay.” The child whined softly as I gathered all of the ice cream cups together before standing and making my way over to a trash receptacle. I’d just dumped everything inside when a gentle hand on my arm pulled my attention to the Detective standing behind me.

“Thank you. For spending time with her,” She stated as she gave me a soft smile and let her hand drift back to her side. 

“I figured I might as well start adapting now. And your child does seem more tolerable than most,” I replied as I stuffed my hands in my pockets. I knew there was no way I’d ever be used to the small human, perhaps she’d be more tolerable when she matured more. It wasn’t as if that really mattered though, the child would be gone from my life by the time she was eight, and I’d probably never meet her again in her lifetime.

“I’ll see you later,” The Detective offered, pulling me from my thoughts as she turned away.

“I got your spawn a gift,” I spoke up, immediately getting the Detective’s attention once again.

“You did?” She questioned as she turned back to me, her face showing the shock that she clearly felt.

“An acquaintance of mine told me it would be appropriate,” I stated with a shrug. That acquaintance had been Doctor Linda. She’d suggested the idea in the first place and even went with me to pick the gift out herself when I complained that I could never even begin to surmise what sort of things a child might desire.

“You got me something!?” The spawn screeched loudly before attaching herself to my leg like an octopus trying to strangle its prey. I tensed up immediately at the contact, raising my arms out of danger’s reach as the spawn buried its face in the leg of my pants. I began to reach down to try and detach the tiny human from my body but I just couldn’t bring myself to touch it any more than absolutely necessary. I looked over to the Detective for help, but it was more than apparent that she was enjoying watching me squirm. Her smile was the widest it had been all day, and when her eyes finally met mine a peal of laughter broke free from her lips as she tipped her head back. I hadn’t realized I’d gotten myself engaged to a sadist until just now, but it was quite obvious just how much the Detective was enjoying watching my pain.

Thank Father, the spawn finally released me a few seconds later, and I felt like I could breathe once more. I stepped around the spawn carefully in hopes I wouldn’t aggravate it enough to latch onto me once again, making it a point to shoot a glare at the Detective. I made my way over to the Corvette with long strides, well aware of the Detective and her spawn following me. “This is your car!? It’s so cool!” I couldn’t help but smile slightly at the tiny human’s overzealous response as I opened the glove box and pulled out a small box wrapped in plain brown paper.

“Your spawn has good taste,” I told the Detective before turning to her child and thrusting the box into its unoccupied hands. “Here.” The child turned it over in her hands for a moment before looking up at her mother.

“Can I open it now mommy?”

“Well you have to open it in front of him silly,” The Detective answered and her spawn’s face lit up before she began ripping up the paper with all the savagery a pack of wolves would show when ripping open a kill. Hardly five seconds passed before she’d entirely shredded the paper, leaving it in tiny shreds to be carried away by the wind. She opened the box a moment later and her face lit up into another smile as she stared down at it for a moment. I’d been there when the Doctor had picked out the small pendant. It was two silver and pink dragonflies that were twining into each other, and although it wasn’t what I would’ve picked out it seemed as though the Doctor had in fact, done a great job.

“Oh my gosh! It’s so pretty!” The spawn exclaimed loudly as she looked away from the box and up at me. “Thank you, Lucifer!” She shouted happily before attaching herself to my leg once again. I stiffened up once again as I growled low in my throat. I desperately hoped this wasn’t going to become a regular occurrence with the spawn. She detached herself from me is a much more timely manner than she had last time, turning to her mother quickly. “Look what he got me, mommy!” The Detective took the box from her daughter, her eyes grew soft for a moment before she handed it back to her spawn.

“It is very pretty. Why don’t you put it on?” She hinted and the child immediately did what her mother suggested. The Detective stepped over to my side before whispering in my ear. “Please tell me those aren’t pink diamonds or something.”

“No. It’s just tourmaline and silver, nothing special really,” I replied with ease as I watched her spawn fiddle with the clasp on the chain before managing to get it undone.

“I know what cheap jewelry looks like. That is not cheap jewelry.” The Detective said, her voice no longer a whisper. I looked over at her to see that she actually looked a little concerned. Was she worried over how much I spent on her child? It wasn’t much, only a few hundred dollars. Hardly even a drop in the bucket honestly.

“That necklace was cheaper than a lap dance from a high-quality stripper,” I defended quietly. 

“Right. I'm sure you get updated lap dance fare rates texted to your number every hour,” She scoffed softly, disgust more than evident in her tone. 

“I’ve never paid for a sexual act in my life. Women and men come to me. Not the other way around,” I explained as I stared down at the Detective. She shook her head softly as she bit her lower lip, and I held back my own urge to lean forward and take that plump red lip into my mouth.

“You ready to go monkey?” The Detective asked her spawn as she looked away from me, breaking me out of my haze of desire.

“Can Lucifer drive me home mom?” The child questioned and I looked down at her quickly. A tiny, sticky human in my Corvette? Was this hell?

“His car only has two seats baby, we can’t all fit,” The Detective explained patiently and I immediately felt relief flow through me. Perhaps the child wouldn’t get the opportunity to soil my leather seats yet.

“So? I can still fit in there with him. Can he mommy? Please?” The spawn began to whine as she bounced on the pads of her feet. I watched the Detective shake her head softly and I immediately recognized the worry in her posture. She was nervous about what would become of her spawn if she let her ride unaccompanied in my car!

“What? Don’t trust me enough to get her home in one piece?” I questioned just as the Detective opened her mouth to no doubt deny her child what it desired. The Detective glared over at me, her mouth pressing into a thin line at my statement.

“If he wants to drive you home then he can,” The Detective stated as she stared at me with the fury of hell in her eyes. I cursed internally at her answer, I had mostly been bluffing. I certainly hadn’t expected her to put the blame of the situation on me. Now I had to either agree to something that revolted me to my core, or come across as the ‘bad cop’ in the small human's eyes.

“Please, Lucifer! Please!” The spawn spoke up immediately as one of her tiny hands grabbed a handful of my pant leg, tugging roughly as she pleaded with me. I stood there for a long moment, staring down at the spawn in mute horror before I shot the Detective a glare.

“Oh, Father. Get in the car before I change my mind,” I said briskly as I stepped away from the passenger door, pulling it open for the small human to climb inside as I tried my best to ignore her cries of joy. As soon as she sat down I closed the door after her, digging my keys out of my pocket before the Detective spoke up.

“You’ll follow my car back to my place right?” She questioned, her voice filled with concern as she watched me carefully. I nodded my reply as I stepped around the hood of my car and the Detective walked off to a silver sedan a few spaces ahead of my own car. I got in the Corvette and turned on the engine when the spawn spoke up.

“Where’s the seatbelt?” She questioned as she looked around. I sighed as I leaned over and pulled the simple lab belt out from under her before snapping the ends shut and tightening the belt with one quick tug. Now that the spawn was situated I focused on driving, clicking on the radio in hopes that music would stop the spawn from trying to communicate during a hopefully very fast trip home. ‘Highway to Hell’ spilled out of the speakers as I pulled out of my parking spot and stopped in the road until the Detective maneuvered her car out of its spot. I followed her three blocks before the spawn began yelling over the sound of the music.

“How long have you had this car?” I considered turning up the radio and ignoring the spawn but I was going to have to spend the next year with her, I should at least try to get off to a good start with her.

“About five years,” I answered as we stopped at a red light. I glanced over at the child only to see an almost sinister glint in her eye, I had to force myself to take a deep breath and not jump out of the car at the sight.

“Can it go really fast?” She asked a moment later, her smile twisting into a wicked grin. I had been expecting something much more sinister, but this, this I could do.

“Do you want to go really fast?” I questioned as a devilish smile of my own found its way onto my face. The child nodded and I chuckled before turning my attention back to the road, the light had turned green and everyone was pulling forward. Instead of following Chloe’s car straight I hung a right before slamming my foot into the gas pedal as we rocketed forward. The child screeched happily and I couldn’t help but turn the radio up in an attempt to drown out her loudness. We sped through a few blocks of traffic before I had to ask the spawn where she lived, I was familiar with the street name she gave me although I could hardly believe the Detective had beachfront property. Regardless of my disbelief I drove toward the address the spawn had given me, slaloming between cars and going between ten to fifteen over the speed limit at any given time.

When we drove past an empty parking lot I couldn’t help but pull in and do a few donuts, the tires squealing loudly on the pavement were enough to effectively drown out the child’s cries of excitement. I had to admit, as much as I detested human offspring knowing that I was the one making the Detective’s spawn happy did give me a foreign sense of accomplishment. I peeled out of the empty parking lot and back onto the street before I could burn too much rubber off my tires, getting back on route to the Detective’s home. With my superb driving skills, it only took about ten minutes to get to the Detective's neighborhood. I allowed the spawn to direct me through the suburbs until we pulled into the gravel driveway of a moderately large home that the child identified as hers. I parked as I took in the place, it was more than I had been expecting. Did the Detective take bribes? I couldn’t imagine any other way she could afford such a place.

“Child, how does your mother afford this place?” I questioned as I turned off the car and looked over at the spawn.

“We live with my grandma and grandpa, it’s really their place,” She said with a shrug. I had to admit I was a little surprised, I hadn’t pegged the Detective as someone who still lived with her parents. But then again she did seem awfully close to her father. It had to be cheaper than having her own place, but I had a feeling her living situation mostly had to do with her spawn. It takes a village as the abominable saying goes.

“I see.” I said softly as I nodded at the spawn’s response. Silence grew between us for a moment as my thoughts drifted to the Detective, she wouldn’t be happy if she knew how ‘reckless’ I had been coming here. “I need you to make me a promise,” I stated seriously as I turned to the child. She nodded her head as she stared back at me. “Don’t tell your mother about the ride here. She doesn’t need to know the specifics of what happened,” I explained slowly, making sure the spawn could hear and understand each word coming out of my mouth.

“Okay.” She said with a shrug before looking around with a bored expression on her face. “Can I listen to the radio?” She questioned as she stared at me. My immediate reaction in my head was to tell her no, but I had the ominous feeling that if I told her no she’d try to ask me more questions, and I’d grown a bit tired of our game of twenty-one questions a while ago.

“Will it keep you quiet?” I sighed as I stared down at the tiny human and she nodded her head vigorously. “Fine then.” 

It took her a few moments to tune it to some horrendous pop song with way too much bass, and I couldn’t help but bury my face in my hands as she turned the volume up. At this point I was beginning to wonder if talking to the child would have been less painful than letting her force her music on me. I closed my eyes tightly and forced myself to take long deep breaths as I endured torture fit for the deepest levels of my kingdom.

“I thought you said you were going to follow my car home!” The Detective’s angry voice broke over the loud beats and I had never been so grateful to hear an angry woman yelling at me. I turned off the radio with a push of a button and ignored the deflated look the spawn gave me in return as I turned to watch the Detective making her way over to the car. 

“Your spawn knew how to get back to her own place of residence,” I defended as my eyes met the Detective’s own aqua orbs.

“Hi mommy!” The Detective ignored the greeting as she leaned against the car, glaring at me.

“How did you get here before me?” She questioned, her voice deceivingly calm. I could tell how tense she was by the set of her shoulders. I was just about to explain that we must have taken a route with less traffic, which wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t the whole truth either. But before I could state my case her spawn was already answering her question with brutal honesty.

“We drove really really fast!” I slowly turned to glare at the child, her eyes found mine and she seemed to shrink a bit. We made a promise you little urchin.

“You promised you weren’t going to tell her about that,” I reminded her, my voice dark. I saw the remembrance in her eyes as her smile faded.

“Oops,” She said softly as she shrugged. If it wasn’t obvious that she’d forgotten about the promise I would’ve held it against her. She was just a child after all, they weren’t exactly the smartest creatures.

“Trix, why don’t you go inside? I just need to talk to Lucifer alone for a little bit,” The Detective spoke up pulling my attention back over to her as she tossed her keys to her spawn who caught them clumsily before clambering out of my Corvette.

“Bye, Lucifer! See you soon!” She shouted as she closed the car door behind her and ran for the door.

“Here it comes,” I sighed as the spawn opened the door to her house and disappeared inside. I knew I was in for a long lecture the moment the Detective asked to speak with me alone.

“What are you thinking speeding around town with my kid in the car? You could’ve gotten her hurt? Does this thing even have airbags?” The Detective’s interrogation began the second the door closed behind her child. I pressed my mouth into a thin line as I waited for her to pause her questioning so I could get a word out.

“No, it doesn’t. And I assure you, Beatrice was not in danger at any point in time,” I stated blandly as tapped my fingers on the steering wheel under my hand.

“You don’t know that Lucifer!” The Detective shouted as she threw her hands in the air. I rolled my eyes at her and huffed as my annoyance grew. Was she always going to overreact when it came to her child?

“I have incredible reflexes Detective. That car ride was probably the safest one she’s ever had her whole life,” I defended as I stared her down. She pursed her lips at my response, her hands finding their way to her hips as she tapped her foot on the ground. “She had fun,” I added when the Detective didn’t say anything. I looked away from the miffed Detective and back towards the house only to see the spawn pressed against one of the windows like a starfish stuck to the side of an aquarium as she stared at us. 

“I think she likes you,” The Detective stated with a small smile, her voice no longer angry. I looked back over at her to see that she had also been watching her spawn. 

“Of course she does. What’s not to like?” I replied as I smiled broadly at her. I watched as the Detective rolled her eyes at my response before turning back towards me.

“Ugh, get out of here before I slap that smile off your face,” She grumbled as she took in my cocky smile.

“Is that a promise?” I questioned as I leaned in closer to her. She took a step forward, her eyes alight with annoyance and I held my hands up in surrender at her movement. “Alright, okay. I’ll just be on my way then,” I conceded as I turned on the car and began to back out of the driveway. I began to pull out of the driveway before stopping for a brief moment. 

“Detective. When’s your next day off?” I yelled over the rumble of the engine.

“Wednesday. Why?” She asked as she gave me a slightly concerned look.

“Just curious,” I shouted happily before pulling out of the driveway, leaving her standing in the driveway as she disappeared from my rearview mirror.

\---***---

I’d expected a family of cops would have invested in a better deadbolt, not like that would’ve stopped me from getting in their house regardless, but it might have hindered any mortals from entering. I wandered around the main living areas for a moment, taking in the sort of quaint comfort that emanated from the tasteful rustic décor before remembering why I decided to drop by before anyone was awake. If there was one thing that humans and I had in common, it was our love for food. How could the Detective possibly turn away my offer of an expertly prepared breakfast and a wonderful day off with myself, when I had every intention of spoiling her?

I made my way into the smaller than expected kitchen, turning on lights as I went. I decided to start my search for ingredients with the fridge, it wasn’t as heavily stocked as I would’ve liked but it would do. I moved my search to the cupboards in hopes I could turn up something a bit more useful, despite the usual baking supplies they also had plenty of bread and English muffins. I stood there for a moment tapping my foot on the floor as I considered my options. 

I dug around in the fridge one more time before I found a forgotten package of canadian bacon hiding in the back of the fridge. The expiration date still wasn’t for a few days and I immediately decided to go with eggs benedict, a bit harder to make than most breakfast options, but also much more impressive. Besides, women love a man who knows his way around a kitchen right? I focused on the task ahead of me as I gathered everything I’d need and placed it on the counter before rummaging around in the other cupboards until I found their pots and pans. I tried to pick what I needed from the jumbled mess and place everything down on the stovetop burners as quietly as possible, but I was still aware of the fact that I was making a decent amount of noise. The next step was finding mixing bowls, knives, and a cutting board. I had just set my sights on a kitchen drawer when a tiny, sleep-laden voice broke the quiet.

“Lucifer?” I turned to see the Detective’s spawn standing in the kitchen as she rubbed an eye with her tiny fist, her other hand clenched around a small stuffed bear.

“Oh…Hello, spawn,” I greeted her. 

“What are you doing in my house?” The small human questioned as she padded further into the kitchen, the sound of her bare feet on the tile echoing through the otherwise silent dwelling.

“Making breakfast,” I answered nonchalantly as I opened the next drawer to find silverware and cooking utensils but still no knives.

“Can I help you cook?” The spawn questioned as she came to stand right next to me. I looked down at her for a moment as I wondered how she was even going to reach the countertops. The child stared up at me with wide brown eyes and I conceded a few moments later despite my doubts.

“Just make sure you wash your hands before you touch anything,” I advised as I moved around her before trying the next drawer, luckily stumbling upon a dangerously disorganized drawer filled with knives. You’d think humans would have the common sense to at least organize the drawer filled with sharp blades when they had a child in the house. I pulled a chef’s knife from the drawer before closing it.

“Can you put Valerie up there for me?” I glanced down at the child as she held the small stuffed bear out towards me. I tried not to grimace as I took it from her and placed it on the edge of the counter, away from the food. Now that I’d accomplished the task the spawn had asked for me I went back to my own mission. Filling the large pot I’d brought out with tap water before setting it on the stove and salting it slightly, then turning on the burner it sat on top of. I tore open the package of english muffins before separating the halves and popping two of them in the toaster. I heard the sink turn on behind me and I quickly glanced over at it to see how the spawn had managed to pull herself up to that height. The small human was standing on some sort of miniature ladder as she lathered her hands with soap. She rinsed them off before shaking them dry and turning to look at me.

“What can I do?”

“I suppose you can be my Sous Chef,” I said with a grin. “It means you’re second in command of this kitchen, and you have to follow my specific instructions without comment or question.”

“Okay.” The tiny human nodded vigorously.

“Find me a cutting board and a mixing bowl,” I Instructed as I turned back to my own work. Pulling a stack of plates from one of the cupboards and setting them down on an empty patch of counter just before the toaster popped up four slices of english muffin. I pulled them out, resting them on one of the plates as I started another round in the toaster. I picked up the package of bacon, opening it with ease before setting a few strips in the pan and turning it on. I turned around to find a cutting board and a mixing bowl on top of the counter as the offspring looked to me for guidance once again.

“Now what?” She questioned as I grabbed the mixing bowl and set it down next to the open carton of eggs. I grabbed a package of assorted berries off the counter before thrusting them into the child’s empty hands.

“Rinse these off, Sous Chef,” I ordered as I returned to the eggs. Cracking one against the counter before tipping the contents back and forth between the two halves of shell as I separated the yolk from the white before depositing it in the mixing bowl.

“I like your fancy suit. Did you wear it to impress my mom?” The spawn spoke up as she climbed the ladder next to me and opened the plastic box of berries. So much for no talking. 

“Not really,” I answered as I did the same to two more eggs and tried my best to ignore how close the child was standing.

“That’s okay. I think she likes it better when you don’t wear a suit anyways,” The spawn admitted as she turned on the tap and ran the berries under the water.

“What makes you say that?” I questioned as I added the last egg yolk to mixing bowl and returned to the bacon to flip it, doing my best to avoid the grease that threatened to splatter on my suit.

“I caught her staring at your butt a few times at the ice cream place,” The child replied and I paused what I was doing to take in the new information. So the Detective was admiring the goods was she? And Linda thought she wouldn’t want to have sex with me, I practically scoffed at the thought now.

“Did she now?” I questioned with a slight chuckle as I finished turning the bacon before removing the second batch of English muffins from the toaster and starting a third batch.

“Yep,” The spawn replied with ease and my grin widened as I returned to the mixing bowl. I could hardly contain the carnal delight that filled me at the spawn’s admissions about her mother as I continued working on breakfast. I forced myself to push away naughty thoughts that began to cloud my mind as I added lemon juice, water, salt, and pepper to the egg yolks before fishing a whisk out of the silverware drawer.

“Lucifer, I’m done,” The spawn spoke up as she turned off the tap and set the berries down in the sink basin.

“Mix,” I ordered as I thrust the mixing bowl into the child’s arms and returned to the bacon. I pulled the strips from the pan and rested them on a paper towel to drip before starting another round and putting the unused bacon back in the fridge. I dropped a stick of butter into the medium saucepan before lighting a small flame under it.

“Are you going to take me to school today?” The child questioned as I found a wooden spoon and pushed the butter around as it began to slowly melt. I kept my dismay internal at the thought of the child trying to coerce me into poor music choices once again, I was not going to fall for that anymore. I certainly hoped I wouldn’t be taking the spawn to her classes today; she wasn’t as horrible as she could potentially be, but she wasn’t exactly my idea of great company either.

“I don’t think your mother trusts my driving as much anymore,” I replied as I turned towards her to take the yolk-filled mixing bowl from her. The small human pouted at my answer as I pulled the bowl from her hands. Why was she acting like it was my fault? “Don’t give me that face, you did that to yourself, ratting me out to your Mum.” I turned back to the stove and poured the contents of the bowl into the melted butter before stirring it all together.

“Are you a good cook?” The question came as I rinsed out the mixing bowl before resting it on the countertop.

“It’s one of my strengths,” I answered as I turned back to the stove, flipping bacon and stirring the hollandaise sauce.

“Mommy’s a good cook too, she makes the best sandwiches,” The spawn stated as I began to spread the plates out on the counter before arranging the English muffin halves appropriately on the dishes. I couldn’t help but smirk at the thought of ever requesting a sandwich from the Detective, I was fairly certain that if I ever did she might become homicidal. 

“Why don’t you put that fruit on these plates, Sous Chef?” I offered another task to the spawn and she nodded happily before grabbing the berries out of the sink and struggling to push her tiny ladder over to the side of the counter where the plates were laid out. I watched her meager attempts before using my foot to push the tiny ladder in front of the plates. Ugh, it was disgusting, helping a tiny human. What’s becoming of me? Next thing I know I’ll be helping the elderly ones across the street if I keep going at this pace.

An easy silence filled the kitchen as I focused on poaching the eggs and the Detective’s spawn dumped tiny handfuls of fruit on each plate. The rest of the meal preparation went by quickly and easily as the spawn ran off to set the table, leaving me alone in the kitchen to put a quick sear on the Canadian bacon and plate everything. I’d just finished putting all the food together and began chopping chives when Jonathan emerged from the hallway in a t-shirt and jeans, he took one long look at me before his face twisted into a snarl.

“What are you doing in my house?” He questioned roughly as he stomped over to the coffee pot, picking up the freshly brewed pot and sniffing it as though he was trying to figure out if I had done something to it.

“Making your family breakfast,” I answered with ease as I quickly finished chopping.

“Morning grandpa!” The Detective’s offspring shouted loudly as she ran over to him, crashing into his legs as she latched onto him in the same fashion she’d latched onto me at the ice cream parlor a few days ago. Jonathan smiled down at the child for a moment as he ruffled her already messy hair. When he looked back up at me his smile faded and a glare filled its place.

“How did you get in here?” He asked as I scraped the finely chopped chives into my hand and began to sprinkle them over the rich yellow sauce blanketing the poached eggs.

“Through the door. It’s usually the easiest way to enter a building,” I replied, my voice tainted with sarcasm. I sprinkled the tiny green garnish on the last plate just when Penelope entered the room. Her eyes met mine before a huge smile graced her features.

“Lucifer!” She greeted me happily as she made her way into the kitchen. “What a lovely surprise!” She finished as she came to stand in front of me, her hands resting on my upper arms.

“Penelope. Always a pleasure,” I greeted her with a smile before leaning down and brushing a quick kiss against her soft cheek. I pulled away to see her blushing furiously. I had to admit it was a delightful sight, but it also made me wonder why her daughter didn’t react to me the way she did.

“What are you doing in here?” She questioned as her hands fell back to her sides, her voice warm and welcoming.

“Preparing breakfast, of course. I hope you like eggs benedict,” I replied as I held a hand out toward the plates covered in food just as the Detective’s spawn scampered by me and took two from the counter before running them over to the table.

“I love eggs benedict. Do you need help with anything?” Penelope asked as her hands found my arms once again. I chuckled softly at her inability to keep her hands off of me, as Jonathan shot a harsh glare towards the both of us.

“I’m afraid I’ve already found an assistant,” I replied as the spawn ran past us once more to retrieve two more plates.

“Trix! You need to get ready for school.” The Detective’s voice reached my ears before she entered the room. “Come…What are you doing here?” Her voice grew colder as her eyes fell on me. I let my eyes roam her pajama-clad figure, the black and red polka dot fabric clinging to her body in all the right places even though the pant and shirt set were both modestly long. Her hair still mussed up from sleep, a few golden strands sticking out at awkward angles. She was definitely a sight I could get used to waking up to each morning, especially if her messy hair was the result of a previous evening of passionate sex.

“Your lovely fiancé decided to drop by and make us all breakfast! Isn’t that so sweet of him?” Penelope answered for me, which was probably a good thing considering I’d been much too caught up admiring the lovely Detective to form a response.

“It would’ve been sweeter if he had let me know ahead of time,” The Detective’s voice grew even colder as her eyes met mine.

“What can I say? I’m a spur of the moment type of person,” I spoke up as I gifted the Detective with one of my trademark smirks. “Love the pajamas by the way, is your hair always this messy in the morning?” I questioned before wetting my lower lip with my tongue as my eyes swept across her body once more. She rolled her eyes and I could hear her audibly sigh even from the other side of the room.

“Come on Trix. You need to get dressed,” The Detective called her spawn as she purposely ignored my last comment. The child abandoned her cause of helping me with breakfast as she ran over to her mother, the two of them disappearing into the hallway a moment later.

“I am so excited that you two are getting married. You have no idea,” Penelope gushed as I grabbed the last plate on the countertop.

“Well, at least one of the Decker ladies is looking forward to it,” I chuckled as I made my way past her before depositing the plate on the only unoccupied table setting.

“Trixie is incredibly happy as well. And she adores you.” Penelope continued as she made her way out of the kitchen. “Don’t worry, Chloe will come around with time. And I’ll make sure she takes all this wedding stuff seriously. I have been waiting quite a while to be the mother of the bride.” Penelope continued and I couldn’t help but grin at her words. I knew she meant it when she said that she would force Chloe to take the wedding seriously. And of course Chloe would come around eventually, I’m the devil; persuasive, charming, irresistible. I’d give it a week after our wedding until she’d finally realize just how into me she really is.

“Good to know I have an ally in all this,” I replied happily and a brief silence filled the room before Penelope spoke up once more.

“So, what do you have planned for the day?”

“Well, I was made aware that today is your daughter’s day off from work. I was planning on taking her to a little surprise today,” I answered before giving her a small wink and she giggled before blushing once more.

“Chloe doesn’t like surprises,” Jonathan spoke up immediately, his voice gruff. I glanced over at him to see him glaring at me as he usually was. I knew he didn’t like me, but would it kill him to lay off the constantly grudging attitude for a moment? I mean, he did have me to thank for his life at the moment.

“I think she may be amenable to the one I have planned,” I retorted as I stared him down. I was no longer bothering to try and be approachable, I was beginning to grow tired of being the civil one out of the two of us. He’s the human, he should be the one showing a little respect.

“Which is?” He questioned his voice still gruff as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I went around telling others, now would it?” I questioned sarcastically as I took a few steps toward the man. I could tell my response only served to aggravate him as his scowl hardened.

“Look. You’re not my family yet and I’m not going to pretend to like you,” Jonathan growled and I chuckled as I continued to close the distance between us. His scowl faded for a moment as I made my way closer, it was replaced momentarily with an expression I knew all too well. One that showed that under his false security of hatred he was actually scared of me, and there could only be one reason for John Decker to be afraid of me.

“You know.” I breathed softly as I paused in my tracks. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realized it earlier. I should have noticed back in the hospital when he told Chloe I was the devil, but I had written it off as a bewildered man’s overreaction to some life changing news.

“What?” He questioned sounding and looking legitimately bewildered.

“You know the truth of what I am. You’re scared of me.” I clarified as I closed the rest of the distance between the two of us. He shifted uncomfortably under my gaze and I couldn’t help but smile at the reaction. “Which one of my siblings did you chat with once you kicked the bucket?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jonathan defended immediately as he straightened slightly, trying to match my height.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” I breathed as I leaned in ever closer. His defiant eyes met mine just before a small shrill voice broke the tension in the room.

“Breakfast time!” The spawn’s heavy footsteps thudded on the hard floor as she ran over to the table happily, drawing my attention away from Jonathan and over to her. Her mother followed her into the room a moment later now dressed in jeans and a white henley top, her attention immediately falling on her father and myself. She stopped as she looked between the two of us suspiciously. I straightened and turned away from Jonathan, following the child to the kitchen table before seating myself.

“Well, you heard the tiny human. It is getting cold,” I reminded the adults as the spawn began to dig into her fruit while they all stood as if frozen, watching the two of us at the dining table as though we were rabid animals. My words seemed to shake them all out of whatever haze they’d been in as they made their way over to the table before seating themselves. I wound up sandwiched between Chloe and Penelope as I waited for everyone to dig into their food.

“Penelope wait,” Jonathan ordered just as his wife was about to cut into her breakfast. She paused hesitantly as she looked over at her husband curiously. “I think we should all say grace.” He stated a moment later as he stared me down with a smirk. I was equal parts revolted and amused by his suggestion. He was probably one of those humans who thought that prayer or holy water could run me off for good when in reality all they managed to do was annoy me. 

“What? Why do you want to suddenly start praying over our food today?” The Detective questioned, confusion and skepticism lacing her voice.

“I just think it would be a good idea. I mean, God has blessed us so much lately, with my second chance at life and all,” Jonathan explained with a shrug before shooting a quick glare my way. I chuckled at his statement as I leaned in over the table a bit as I held Jonathan’s gaze.

“God had nothing to do with that Jonathan. That was the Devil’s work,” I stated softly as Jonathan shifted in his chair uncomfortably. His eyes flicked away from mine as he swallowed almost nervously and I leaned back against my chair. 

“I’d like to say grace, and I’d like it if you would all join me,” Jonathan stated once again as his eyes flicked over his family, and purposely avoided me.

“I’m not praying to some bearded man in the clouds who doesn’t exist,” Chloe scoffed and I couldn’t help but smile at her refusal. At least we had our distaste for my father in common if nothing else. “Monkey, you don’t have to pray either if you don’t want to.” 

“I want to! It’ll make grandpa happy!” The spawn exclaimed happily and I rolled my eyes at her response. Her mother seemed to have a similar response as she shot another glare at her father. He ignored the Detective’s attitude and turned to his wife.

“Penelope?”

“Alright, fine,” She conceded with a sigh as she gave in before turning to look at me. I stared at her for a long moment before glancing at the others at the table to see everyone but Jonathan watching me. They didn’t really think for a moment that I was going to pray to my father, did they? I’d rather spend the rest of eternity in the ninth circle of hell. 

“What are you looking at me for? I stopped thanking my father for anything shortly after he created all of you,” I scoffed before picking up my utensils and cutting into my food. Jonathan took his wife and granddaughters hands in his own before bowing his head in reverence. I glanced over at the Detective to see her lips pursed into a thin line as she watched them, her distaste more than obvious. 

“Dear heavenly father, please bless this meal. Please bless my family and watch over them, keep them safe from all harm that might come their way.” Jonathan’s voice rang out through the otherwise silent house as I took a bite of my eggs, the tangy rich flavor coated my tongue as I tried to ignore the humans worshipping my father right in front of me. “Thank you for your grace and mercy lord, Amen.” As the prayer ended and the three of them let go of each other. Jonathan looked over at me immediately, a scowl covering his face as he realized I was still there and I hadn’t turned into a pillar of salt, or melted into a puddle of black sludge on the floor. 

“Well, that was mortifying,” I stated blandly before taking another bite of my breakfast. 

“Too bad you’re still here,” Jonathan grumbled under his breath before taking a sip of his coffee.

“John! Show some kindness to your guest!” Penelope scolded before picking up her utensils and digging into her eggs. “Lucifer! Where did you learn to cook like this?” Penelope questioned as she let out a tiny moan at her first bite. I smiled at the small sexy noise, swallowing my mouthful of food before replying.

“I taught myself.”

“Well I think I could use a few lessons from you,” Penelope chuckled as she sliced off another bite.

“Just name the time and place and I’m all yours darling,” I offered, a provocative smile spreading across my face.

“He’s so charming!” Penelope laughed as she patted my arm softly. “Did you know that you and Chloe wound up in a celebrity magazine?” She asked as she turned her full attention towards me.

“Did we now?” I questioned as I turned to glance at the Detective but she refused to look at me even as she rolled her eyes at her mother’s topic of conversation. Penelope stood from the table before wandering off somewhere out of sight, she returned promptly with a magazine in hand.

“Right here!” She exclaimed happily as she placed it down on the table next to me. Sure enough there was one thick glossy page dedicated to Chloe and myself. The title read, ‘Chloe Decker Is Back! And Engaged?’. I didn’t bother to read the three paragraphs under that as my eyes briefly skirted a picture of when I’d been proposing to her and another picture of the two of us together when we’d been hunting down a murderer. Chloe’s fist was raised as she considered punching the bloody prat before her, I was standing behind her clearly encouraging her actions.

“Oh, that one. That’s when I was trying to goad her into punching all the paparazzi annoying her.” I chuckled as I rested a finger on the picture as I recounted the tale to Penelope. “Your daughter is somewhat of a saint unfortunately, killjoy,” I threw the last insult towards her earning myself sharp glare.

“I can’t just punch people because they annoy me. You should be thankful for that fact. Besides, how was I supposed to take all of them on my own?” Chloe questioned before stabbing another piece of egg with her fork and popping it into her mouth.

“Well I would’ve aided you. Having the devil in your corner has its advantages. I know I don’t look like much but I’m vastly stronger than any human,” I replied with a chuckle as I returned my attention to the plate of food in front of me, polishing off the last of my eggs benedict when the Detective’s spawn spoke up.

“Do you have super strength like the Hulk?” The small human questioned curiously. I tried not to choke on the food in my mouth at her inane question.

“I’m the Lord of Hell, not Superman,” I answered dryly after swallowing my mouthful of food.

“Could you stop telling her stuff like that? She’s young enough to actually believe you,” The Detective spoke up immediately, her tone of voice and the expression on her face only hinting at the massive sea of disbelief inside of her.

“It’s not my fault she accepts the truth while you refuse to do so,” I grumbled before popping a raspberry in my mouth. Everyone at the table fell silent after that. The Detective’s spawn ran off after claiming she was full and that she had to pack her school bag, leaving just the adults at the table. Each of us focused on the food before us for a few minutes before Penelope decided to be the one to break the tentative peace.

“So, should I be expecting any more grandbabies in my future?” She chuckled as she nudged me with her elbow. I froze at her question, everything about that sentence absolutely horrified me. I already had to deal with the tiny human the Detective was bringing into my life. Why would I want to be forced to put up with another one that would be somehow even more helpless than this one already was?

“Mom. Seriously?” Chloe replied harshly, her voice serious and dark as she shot down her mother’s question just as I slowly began to recover from the shock of it.

“What? I know you aren’t in love with him right now, but that doesn’t mean you might not actually fall in love with him over the next year,” Penelope defended herself a moment later. I couldn’t help but grin at Penelope’s statement. I couldn’t imagine ever falling in love with anyone, it’s just not in my nature. But the Detective is a human, and it’s very much so in her nature to do just that. My eyes perused the Detective’s gentle features as I wondered what it would be like to hear her say those three little words to me, would she even want to get a divorce at the end of the year if she did fall in love with me? Yes, her father would make sure she got out the day she could, that I was certain of. But what if she did actually want to stay? I suppose I could just keep her if that did happen to be the case, humans do have incredibly short life spans.

“Don’t look at me like that!” The Detective’s harsh rebuke pulled me from my thoughts just before a large dark colored blob came flying towards my face. If I hadn’t been caught by surprise I would’ve forced myself to move at a slower, more human-like speed. But all that registered was the blurry shape fast approaching, and with lightning fast reflexes I caught what turned out to be a thick fabric napkin in mid-air well before it would’ve hit me. The table fell silent for a moment as everyone stared at me.

“Someone’s feeling a little feisty,” I chuckled as I waved the napkin in front of the Detective’s face. She glared at me before trying to snatch it back, but I pulled it out of her reach before she could grab it. “You’re going to have to be faster than that,” I teased as I waved it in front of her face again, this time she managed to yank it from my hands though.

“You are literally a large child,” She grumbled as she turned back to her plate and tossed the napkin down on the table before popping a strawberry in her mouth. “Can’t believe you,” She muttered around her mouthful of food as she glared at the plate in front of her. Silence filled the room for only a few seconds before Penelope was elbowing me softly once again.

“So Lucifer, should I?” I glanced over at her, confusion written over my features. “Be expecting?” She clarified a moment later and I realized she was talking about the possibility of her daughter producing more offspring once again. I glanced over at the Detective for a moment to see her staring at me with fire in her eyes, and I knew that if my answer wasn’t what she wanted she would probably drag me into a private room and give me a good throttling. The detective’s ire heated my blood as I thought of an appropriate answer. 

“Really, Penelope? Why do you have to bring this up right now?” Jonathan spoke up, his voice strained with annoyance. I had to admit he was right about the timing being off, I’m certain I’m not the only one who found her pestering questions odd.

“I’m curious!” Penelope defended herself a moment later, only causing her husband to scowl.

“Well nobody here wants to talk about it,” Jonathan stated harshly before focusing on his food once more. I thought that her husband’s obvious distaste for the conversation she was trying to have would be enough to silence her, but when my eyes met her’s I could see the question she asked still burning inside of her. I swallowed heavily looking down at my plate for a moment before meeting Penelope’s eyes once again.

“Um…I uh…I can’t.”

“Don’t let her bully you! You can tell me,” Penelope chuckled as she noticed the death glare the Detective was still giving me.

“Oh, I didn’t mean I can’t answer your question. I meant that I’m incapable of reproducing,” I explained a short second later and the table fell deathly silent for the first time this morning. Every other time it had fallen quiet so far there was at least the sound of a knife scraping against a plate, or the sound of someone sipping their coffee as background noise. But now I could hear a pin drop on the floor in the other room.

“Oh my…I’m so sorry! Did you get in an accident or are you just…impotent?” Penelope whispered the last word like it was contagious, or scandalous or something of the sorts.

“Mom!”

“Penelope!” Both Jonathan and Chloe scolded her simultaneously, meanwhile I tried to hold in my laughter. 

“No, nothing like that. I’m actually incredibly fertile, it’s just, we’re not the same species.” I began as I gestured between the Detective and myself. “It would be like an eagle trying to reproduce with a canary, impossible, and not just because of the size difference. My DNA is much more complex than human DNA, it can’t mesh together.”

“Well, thank heaven for that,” Jonathan stated with far too much relief in his voice. I smirked at him for a moment before I felt the need to strip him of some of that relief.

“Mmm. Don’t get me wrong, nephilim have happened before. They were all executed before they could really learn their potential though,” I explained before returning my attention to the bacon on my plate.

“A nephil-what?” Jonathan spoke up, confusion and surprise lacing his voice as I bit into my crispy bacon. I smiled at the concerned and bewildered look on his face as his eyes flicked between his daughter and myself.

“A nephilim. Half-human, half-angel. The offspring of the daughters of men and the sons of God,” I explained, finding more humor than I should in the situation as John began to look positively ill. “As I said, it’s impossible. But don't fret Jonathan, that certainly won't stop us from trying,” I said as a leered at the Detective, earning a sharp slap to my shoulder.

“How do nephilim, or whatever, exist then? If it’s impossible?” He questioned, his eyes curious even though his face showed his distaste for the conversation at hand.

“They’ve always been the product of a cherubim and a human. Cherubim’s are practically human to begin with, they were created to be disposable soldiers. I’m an...” I trailed off as I realized I was using the wrong tense. I’d been stripped of my heavenly title long ago, and ever since I’d cut off my wings the title just felt wrong in every sense. I took a breath before correcting myself, “I was, an archangel. We’re much too powerful to —”.

“Can we all stop this crazy talk please,” The Detective groaned, her voice exasperated as she cut me off. She buried her head in her hands for a moment, letting out a deep sigh before righting herself and looking over at me.

The table fell silent once again as we stared at each other. Would I ever figure out what made Chloe different? It was frustrating to know that I couldn’t take the easy way out on anything with her. She clearly wasn’t chemically attracted to me like every other woman I’d ever ran into, I couldn’t pull her deepest desires out on a whim, and she found nearly every funny thing I said to be annoying. She was a challenge. And I was beginning to question if a year would be enough time to figure her out the way I wanted to. It would have to be enough time though, it was all I had bought myself.

“Well then, I’m going to take Trix to school,” Penelope stated, pulling both the Detective and I away from each other’s gazes as she stood up.

“Mom, I’ll take her. Besides it gives me an excuse to get away from you,” The Detective stated before her voice took on a harsh tone towards the end as she attempted, and failed to insult me.

“No, sweetheart. I’m taking Trixie to school so that Lucifer can take you to your surprise,” Penelope replied firmly as she began to make her way out of the room. The Detective turned to me then, her eyes full of concern and confusion as they swept over my face.

“What surprise?”

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out.” I replied with a cocky grin. She rolled her eyes and sighed as she stood up, taking her plate with her to the kitchen sink. My grin turned into something softer as I watched her turn on the tap, the sunlight streaming through the window illuminating her hair, casting a warm golden halo around her head. She looked like a creature that belonged in heaven instead of here on earth.

Yes. I thought silently to myself. I could get used to this.


	5. Romantic Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe gets her day off hijacked by Lucifer who's planned a few surprises for her. Warning: Relentless Fluff Ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I need to express my gratitude for my wonderful beta editor Valifecent for all of her work on this. Without you this story would only be half as good. Also a big thank you to Selanda, Lzod, LuciferCentral, Sanoiro, CarolineCC, CrystalynaduStarrvan, zerousy, and badwolfjen for all of your lovely comments on my work. I love hearing from each of you. And I must also thank everyone who's left kudos! I apologize for missing last weeks update, I got taken on an impromptu vacation and it destroyed my writing schedule. PSA: Sentences in italics are song lyrics.

_**C. Decker** _

I watched the building pass as we drove through downtown LA, the wind whipped my hair as Lucifer sped through another yellow light. I’d scolded his driving at first, but he’d refused to hear out my concerns. It had taken me a few minutes to finally realize that he wasn’t going to change his driving habits because of my concerns, so I had grudgingly sat back in the seat and tried to relax during the ride. I had to admit that despite the speeding he wasn’t a bad driver. In fact, the way his eyes constantly scanned the road in front of him and his mirrors made me feel safer in his car than I felt when my own mother drove. He remained silent throughout most of the ride, and I didn’t exactly feel like speaking up. Besides, I knew if I tried to make conversation with him he’d just find a way to turn the topic at hand into a sex joke somehow.

The convertible suddenly pulled to the left and I grabbed the door to keep from sliding into Lucifer’s side. Confusion grew inside me as we pulled into what was obviously a high-end car lot, a moment later the huge red Porsche sign came into view and I began to panic a little bit.

“Lucifer. Why are we here?” I questioned as I stared at the tall and executive looking building before us.

“Well, I’ve come to realize that this isn’t exactly a fitting family car. Not enough seating availability,” He answered as he pulled into an empty parking spot before cutting the engine. “So, I plan to remedy that today.”

“You’re going to trade this in for a family vehicle?” I questioned disbelievingly as I looked over at him.

“Oh Father, no. I’d never sell this car. I’m just going to buy another,” He answered before a smug smile crossed his face. “One that our little family of three can fit in more than comfortably,” His smile grew as he referred to us as a family and I had to force away the urge to roll my eyes at him. I stared him down for a long moment before shaking my head.

“Lucifer, no,” I stated firmly. I wasn’t about to let him do this because he felt like he needed a bigger car with Trixie and me in his life. I could just ask my sergeant for an unmarked patrol car to use off the job, other officers did all the time.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned a moment later, his eyes searching mine. “Do you have a different brand preference? Jaguar, Mercedes, Aston Martin?” He offered a small list of car manufacturers that I would never be able to afford to purchase a car from.

“No, I don’t have a brand preference. But you can’t just buy me a new car,” I tried to reinforce the thought in his mind, but I could tell by the impatient look on his face that my protests weren’t getting through to him.

“Yes, I can. And I’m going to. And you’re going to help me pick it out because it’s going to be your daily auto.” He replied with an expectant smile, almost like he was waiting for some dramatic, excited reaction from me. We sat there in silence for a long moment as I stared him down, trying to feel out whether or not I could possibly change his mind. But everything from the expression on his face to his posture told me that this wasn’t something I could negotiate my way out of.

“If you have to buy a car why can’t you just buy something simple? Like a Honda, or a Toyota, or a Chevy?” I questioned with a slight shake of my head. If I couldn’t convince him not to buy a new car maybe I could at least convince him to buy an affordable one. The roll of his eyes that followed my question told me that he wasn’t going to take my two-cents into consideration.

“First of all, I will not have my wife driving around some Toyota while I drive a Corvette,” Lucifer began, the word Toyota dripping with disgust as he scoffed. “What kind of message does that send about me as a husband? Not a very good one, I have a reputation to uphold and I can’t have you spoiling it. Second of all, I did tell you that I was going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.” I shook my head softly at his short rant. Why did he have to be so stubborn on this? I mean, the thought was endearing but I really didn’t want this from him. I could only imagine that it would be fuel for whatever fire he wanted to start in the future. I’d had men pull the ‘I bought you dinner, I at least deserve to get to second base.’ on me before, I could only imagine what Lucifer might assume he ‘deserves’ in exchange for buying ‘us’, aka mostly me, a new car.

“Lucifer. Can you just stop trying to impress me? You don’t have to spend thousands of dollars on me to try to get me to fall in love with you,” I explained softly as I searched his chocolate brown eyes for any hint of what might be going on in his head. But all I caught was the slightly put-out expression that crossed his face for a brief moment before he leaned in closer to me.

“I’m not trying to impress you, Detective. I’m trying to treat you as my equal,” Lucifer stated gently as his eyes searched mine curiously. His words caught me entirely off guard, ‘Mr. I’m above all you humans’ wants to treat me as his equal? “And I’m not spending my money in hopes that I’ll gain your affection by throwing shiny things your way, you're not someone who can be bought. I’m spending it because we will need a family car, and money serves no purpose other than to be spent.” He continued before pausing for a moment as we studied each other carefully. Why is he such a mystery? One minute he’s an egotistical ass, the next he’s an entirely different person. “Now, would you stop trying to argue this and accept that you’re going home with a new car today?” He questioned before staring me down unwaveringly as he waited for my answer. I pursed my lips as I watched him for a long moment before I sighed and undid my seatbelt buckle.

“Fine. You’re obviously set on this,” I grumbled as I opened the car door and got out. I couldn’t believe I was letting him drag me into this. I jumped slightly when I felt his large hand on my back, I hadn’t even heard him get out of the car. Jesus, why was he so damn quiet?

“I am. Now come on.” The playful tone his voice usually held returned as he walked us toward the large glass doors.

“Can’t believe you,” I muttered quietly as we stood before the large glass doors. Lucifer shot me a sly grin before pulling open one of the doors and ushering me inside. The icy air conditioning hit me immediately as I stepped onto the perfectly polished floor. I felt like I didn’t belong here. This was a place for posh CEO’s and lawyers, not a scruffy cop and her crazy bar-owner sorta boyfriend.

“Obviously we’re going to be getting a sedan or an SUV, a coupe wouldn’t meet our needs. Look, right over here,” Lucifer spoke up, pulling me from my thoughts of inadequacy as his hand found its place on my back once again as he practically pushed me over to a silver car that looked like it belonged on a racetrack, or in a garage with fifteen other luxury vehicles. Lucifer began pouring over the tech specs sheet posted in the car’s window while I tried not to panic at the one hundred and forty-seven-thousand-dollar price that was printed in bold at the bottom of the paper. This was practically robbery. How could anyone justify spending that much on a car?

“Lucifer, this is too expensive,” I whispered quietly as he opened the car’s door and peeked inside of it.

“Darling, I can–” He paused for a brief moment before speaking up once again, “We, can afford this,” He stated, purposely emphasizing the ‘we’ in his little justification. He’s really pounding home the whole relationship thing today, isn’t he? I don’t think I’ve ever heard him refer to us being a package until today.

“Can I help you folks today?” I turned to see who the new voice had come from, only to see an older man in a suit, of course, approaching me and Lucifer. I heard the door of the car quietly thud shut just before Lucifer’s arm wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me tightly against his side.

“Yes, we are looking to purchase a new vehicle,” Lucifer answered the man’s question as he once again, took the liberty of over-emphasizing the ‘we’ in the sentence. Why is he getting such a kick out of that? I wondered briefly before I began trying to subtly escape from the prison of his body, I hated feeling like I was being used as arm candy.

“What are you looking for in a car?” The salesman questioned as I continued to try, and fail, to free myself from Lucifer’s grip.

“Something a bit more family friendly. Preferably able to stand up to smaller, messier humans on a daily basis,” Lucifer answered, once again taking way too much satisfaction out of calling us a family. What is with him playing the role of the family man today?

“Well, our largest cars have a five-person seating capacity. If you’re looking for something sleeker I’d recommend this Panamera, but if you’re looking for something more spacious with more trunk space I’d recommend the Macan or the Cayenne.” I paid little to no attention to the car salesman’s words as I attempted to pry Lucifer’s hand off of my shoulder. Jesus, why is he so strong? I pursed my lips into a thin line as I glared up at him only to see him staring down at me patiently. It took me a moment to realize he was actually waiting for my input on what the car salesman had just said. I deadpanned for a moment as I thought back over what the salesman had said.

“Trixie does a lot of afterschool programs. We should do the roomier car,” I stated and Lucifer nodded before looking back over at the salesman. He nodded before leading us to the other side of the showroom floor. Lucifer let go of his hold on my shoulder as he followed the salesman, leaving me to trail after them if I wished. I didn’t exactly want to join them in talking about cars, but my only other option was to wander around the showroom floor aimlessly until another salesman targeted me, and that option was slightly more unappealing than its predecessor. I zoned out a bit as I stood before an elegant looking SUV. I barely registered Lucifer and the salesman talking in the background as they discussed model specific things that I was fairly certain Lucifer didn’t even fully understand, horsepower, torque, displacement.

I’m not sure how long I stood there only half-listening to them ramble on before I decided to take a seat at an unoccupied desk. I pulled my phone out of my jeans before unlocking it and opening up Candy Crush, I had no idea how long Lucifer would want to talk specifics with the salesman and this was a good of a time killing distraction as anything else. I got stuck on the third level I played, nothing wanted to match up and I was starting to get frustrated.

“You need to move this one here.” I jumped slightly at the familiar British accent right behind me, turning to see Lucifer standing there just as he reached out and swiped my screen, making a match I hadn’t seen. “Then this,” Lucifer continued, making another swipe at the screen before the bold ‘level complete’ words jumped up on screen. “And you’re done,” Lucifer finished with a self-satisfied smile. I rolled my eyes at him before turning my phone off and stuffing it back into my pocket.

“When did you get back there?” I questioned as I stood up and turned to face him better. Seriously, this silent thing was starting to get unnerving.

“Long enough ago that watching you struggle was becoming physically painful.” He stated blandly before giving me an almost pitying look. I bit back my growing frustration and the urge to hit him with something hard as the salesman walked up behind him. “Come on, we’re going upstairs,” Lucifer stated as his arm snaked around my shoulders once again, pulling me away from the desk and towards the glossy double doors of what had to be an elevator. Part of me wanted to push his arm off of me, the other part was thankful for the body heat seeping through his jacket that was staving off the chill from the over-worked air conditioner.

All three of us crammed into the smaller than preferred elevator when the doors slid open, and I only had to listen to the outdated elevator music for a moment before the salesman started asking if we already had kids or if we were just getting ready to have a family. Lucifer jumped in on the conversation immediately, oversharing about how we’d just gotten engaged and how I already had a kid. Then I had to listen to congratulations on our engagement and our new found love, I practically laughed at that bit; me, in love with Lucifer, as if that would ever happen. Thankfully the elevator doors slid open before either of them could further the conversation about the relationship between Lucifer and I. The salesman led us across a rooftop parking lot packed to the brim with new cars, we stopped in front of a large black SUV that managed to look more like a racecar than an off-road capable vehicle.

“This is the model we were talking about. It’s the turbo sport, so it has the extra horsepower you said you wanted. We have two, the other one’s an automatic though, and it’s red. They're both fully loaded so they'll cost about forty more than the base model.” I had a mini panic attack at the salesman’s words, fully knowing that forty was in reference to thousands of dollars. I quickly shot a concerned glance at Lucifer, and almost like he could read my mind or something he rolled his eyes at the expression I was giving him.

“That’s fine,” Lucifer dismissed the salesman’s words with ease.“Stop being stubborn.” He mouthed at me when the salesman wasn't looking. 

“Want to take it for a spin?” The salesman offered as he gestured to the black beast sitting before us, Lucifer nodded before leaning down slightly until I could feel his warm breath against the shell of my ear.

“This car isn’t the only thing here I’d like to take for a test drive.” I grimaced at his overly corny line as I shrugged his arm off my shoulders grumpily. “Ladies first,” Lucifer stated as he pulled open the driver side door for me. I glared at him for a brief moment before stomping around the front of the car and pulling open the passenger door on my own. Lucifer’s constant little touches were starting to get on my nerves today. I got inside the car and sat down, the seat molding to my body like a glove practically made me sigh. Alright, so maybe there is a reason why these cars are so much more expensive. I thought to myself as I closed the door behind me and took in the rich saddle brown and black leather interior.

“I try to be a gentleman,” Lucifer scoffed as he got into the driver’s seat next to me. I ignored him as I heard one of the back doors opening, glancing over my shoulder to see the car salesman sliding into the backseat. It only took a moment for Lucifer to jam the key into the ignition and turn on the car, it roared to life immediately spurring me to buckle my seat belt. With his driving, I’d be needing it. I watched as all the gauges and the cars touchscreen glowed to life as Lucifer adjusted his seat and mirrors, I was still trying to get used to the fact that the car had a touchscreen when Lucifer shifted the car into gear and pulled out of the parking spot. I wondered momentarily how we were going to get off the roof as Lucifer slalomed between parked cars until the rooftop opened up into a ramp that led down to the street. He immediately started speeding, and part of me was surprised that the car salesman didn’t say anything about it; but then again, he probably knew you didn’t get many sales by being a backseat driver. We drove through the city in silence for a few minutes until the car salesman finally decided to speak up.

“How do you like it so far?”

“The handling is impressive,” Lucifer replied as he got onto the freeway on-ramp before stepping on the gas pedal as the car shot forward surprisingly fast. “I’d bet that your handling is even more remarkable though,” He threw in as he winked at me. I rolled my eyes for what must have been the hundredth time today, is it possible to wear your eye muscles out? Because at this rate I just might manage that. The car salesman laughed at Lucifer’s line before talking about the extra features the car had. I ignored both of them as I toyed with the car’s touchscreen, figuring out how to turn on the heater and A/C, music, GPS and a ton of other features my Honda didn’t have. Apparently, I lost myself in the task of figuring out the car’s functions for longer than I realized, because it seemed like only a few moments passed before we were parking in a nearly empty lot.

“Your turn to take it for a spin love,” Lucifer stated as he put the car in neutral and pulled the parking brake before looking over at me expectantly.

“No, it’s fine I don’t need to,” I shook my head at his offer. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to drive the car, it was more so that I wasn’t in the mood for Lucifer’s inevitable mocking of the way I drove. 

“Chloe, darling, I insist,” Lucifer unbuckled his seatbelt, opened the door and got out of the driver’s seat before I could protest. A moment later he was pulling open my door and watching me expectantly. I sighed heavily as I unbuckled my seatbelt, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve driven a manual,” I explained as I got out of the car. The last time I’d driven a stick-shift was back in high school when my dad got me an old VW Bug, ever since college I had only driven automatics.

“A bit rusty are we? I wouldn’t worry. You look like a woman who can handle a stick,” Lucifer chuckled with a sinful grin as his eyes skirted my body. Jesus, could he just stop looking at me like I’m a piece of meat already? “I’d be more than willing to give you a bit of a refresher course.” He offered as I stepped around him, wanting to get away from him before I couldn’t hold back my violent urges any longer. I stepped around the hood of the car before climbing into the driver seat and closing the door behind me. Lucifer was already settled into the passenger side looking just as satisfied as a cat that just ate a canary.

“I hate to say this but I probably do need one,” I conceded to his brush-up lesson offer the moment I glanced over at the six-speed shifter to my right.

“Wonderful.” His voice grew deeper as his gaze turned almost insatiable. “Well, let me start by saying that it’s not nearly as uncomfortable as it may look.” He leaned in closer to me, his voice becoming smoother as he continued, “It may be a bit awkward, at first. But once you adjust, nothing's quite as pleasurable.”. I couldn’t help the heat that was beginning to sear my cheeks as I shook my head at Lucifer’s, well…Luciferness. I fumbled with the seatbelt in my hands as I tried to ignore the feeling of his gaze on me like a ton of bricks. “Blushing already? We haven’t even gotten to the good bits yet.” He chuckled as I finally managed to clasp the belt and buckle together on my third fumbling attempt. Christ, why is it so hot in here? I need to roll down a window or something. “I mean, this is equivalent to the dirty talking that happens before the foreplay even starts,” Lucifer quipped as another deeper than normal chuckle escaped his lips. I couldn’t help but bury my head in my hands at the comment, it was bad enough that he was affecting me this much to begin with, but did he need to be so raunchy in front of the Goddamn car salesman?

“Is everything always an innuendo with you?” I questioned after a brief moment of silence. Managing to pull my hands away from my face and peek at the man who was making me so damn uncomfortable. The broad smile on his face only serving to show just how very much he was enjoying this little moment.

“Not always.” He offered as his eyes drifted down to my lips as his smile softened. I rolled my eyes yet again as I looked away from him to glare at the steering wheel before me. This year could not pass quickly enough; part of me wished I’d never gotten myself into this predicament to begin with, but it was for my dad, and he was worth it. “Now adjust your seat and mirrors love, make sure everything is comfortable.” I shook my head at his words before reaching down to find the seat adjustment lever, only for my hands to be met with an array of buttons. Is every little thing in this car controlled by a computer? It took me a moment to finally figure out how to get the seat to slide forward, closing the large gap between myself and the steering wheel. “You want to be completely sure that you’re in a good headspace before trying something like this,” Lucifer’s velvety voice broke the silence that had only been filled with the soft mechanical whirring noise coming from the side mirrors as I straightened them. I ignored his proactive comment as I rolled down my window, thankful for the fresh cool air that hit me, immediately clearing away some of the heat suffocating me.

I took a moment to breathe in the fresh air before glancing over at the six-speed jutting out of the center console. The second I rested my hand on the shifter Lucifer let out a deep rumbling noise that I could most closely describe as a growl, or maybe a cat purring. “Taking initiative, lovely.” He leaned in a little closer, his eyes gleaming with that mischievous spark that alluded to the sex references to come. “Helpful little tip, always hold it like you know what you’re doing and you’re confident in your abilities,” Lucifer reached out a hand to rest on top of my own and I practically jumped at how hot he was. Is he sick? He has to have a fever or something, there’s no way this is normal. Before I could vocalize my concerns about his health he was already speaking up once again.

“Don’t hold it too loosely. That gives off the illusion that you’re unsure of what you’re doing, or that you’re unenthusiastic about what’s going on, both options are equally un-arousing.” He explained as he pulled his hand from mine so we weren’t exactly touching but I could still practically feel him just from the proximity. “But, you also don’t want to squeeze it too tightly, that’s just going to be painful and quite frankly, a bit unbearable.” He continued as his hand covered mine once again, this time squeezing mine to the point where it was almost painful. But before I could protest my discomfort his grip loosened considerably as he continued his inappropriate and unnecessary metaphors. “You want a happy medium, gentle yet firm. Treat it like the finely honed piece of machinery that it is.” I expected him to pull his hand from mine as he finished his explanation, but instead it remained on top of my own, burning into my skin.

“I didn’t need a hands-on demonstration,” I stated dryly as I reached over with my free hand to grab him by the wrist, pulling his hand from mine with ease before dropping it onto his leg. All worries about his health now gone. If he felt good enough to make raunchy sex jokes then he didn’t need my concern. My obvious distaste in his choice of metaphors didn’t seem to dissuade him from his cause at all, instead it seemed like it excited him more, almost like he enjoyed the challenge.

“Now, as I’m sure you already knew, there are three pedals,” Lucifer gestured to the pedals near my feet. I shook my head slightly at the statement, of course I know how many damn pedals the car has. “Intimidating, I know. But you have nothing to worry about.” He continued before leaning in almost uncomfortably close until I could practically feel his lips brushing against my ear. “Trust me, you can take it,” Lucifer whispered in my ear and I fought to keep myself from shivering. Jesus, this was getting to be a little too much for me, I was just about to state my discomfort for the situation he was putting me in just when he leaned away and I felt as though I could breathe once again.

“Of course you have the gas, for when you want to go faster…Or harder,” Lucifer continued with the needless explanations for no other reason than he obviously enjoyed turning every single little thing into a damn sex reference. “The brake, your safe word for when things are just getting to be a little too much, and you want to take it down a few notches.” Was I going to have to deal with this every day for the next year? Because if that’s the case it is very likely that I might just lose my mind and shoot him. “And often overlooked but incredibly important. The clutch, the equivalent of lube in this situation.” I turned to shoot a glare at him. This was seriously getting annoying. I mean, the poor innocent car salesman was just sitting back there listening to this, and probably judging our non-existent sex life. “Without enough of it, everything just gets uncomfortable for everyone involved.” Lucifer finished with his trademark smirk that I was becoming more than familiar with.

“Why are you enjoying this so much?”

“What can I say? You're quite sexy when you're flustered,” Lucifer stated softly, his voice still dark with lust as his eyes drifted across my body once more. I looked away from him immediately, trying to ignore the almost uncomfortable way he was making my skin crawl. Part of me wanted to tell him to cut it out already, but I figured I would just get the same reaction I got out of most of the men at the station. ‘Calm down, you’re overreacting. Learn how to take a fucking joke.’ I shook the remembered words out of my head before jamming my foot down onto the clutch.

“That’s it, now put it into gear. If you’ve done everything correctly up until this point it should just slide right in there,” Lucifer’s voice grew slightly lighter, more joking and less sensual. I rolled my eyes at his quip as I thrust the shifter into first gear. “Now, make sure you ease the clutch out slowly and gently, give it some time to adjust.” I bit back a harsh laugh at the statement. As if anyone I’d ever been with had given me time to adjust, the irony. “Stop. You feel that? That’s the spot.” I rolled my eyes yet again at the endless innuendos that he was capable of spewing as I held the clutch in place, the engine catching slightly with each strike of the pistons.

“Let off the brake and flutter the gas as you ease the clutch all the way out,” Lucifer instructed what might have been the first non-sexual reference this whole lesson. I did as he said and the car pulled forward with a slight jerk, I had to admit I could have managed a much worse start. At least I knew I would only improve with practice. “See! It’s not that difficult,” Lucifer stated, his voice triumphant as I drove to the main road. Thankfully I was in a part of town I was well familiar with, I’d be able to make it back to the dealership without needing any more of Lucifer’s ‘instructions’. “You’re very lucky to have such an experienced teacher if I don’t say so myself.” I rolled my eyes at his statement as I stopped at a red light. Right, I should know better than to expect him to be appropriate for more than five minutes.

“You didn’t teach me Lucifer. This isn’t my first time driving a stick-shift,” I scoffed as the light turned green and I pulled forward, this time a bit shakier than the last, almost making the engine stall.

“Oh, I’m well aware,” Lucifer chuckled from beside me as I focused on shifting into second gear, the transition much easier than the transition from dead stop to first. “After all, it may not be your first time, but it will be your best time. And in my book, that’s even more special than the first time.” I peeked at him from the corner of my eye only to see that sinful little smile as he eyed me up once again. Jesus, I was so over this like ten minutes ago.

“Okay. That’s enough of that.”

I jammed the touchscreen a few times before I got the radio on, the bright vibrant notes filling the car as I turned the song up in an attempt to drown out any more quips that Lucifer might want to get out. I focused on driving and on the electropop-esque music as I ignored Lucifer’s disappointed look. Good, I hope he hates this kind of music. It’s only fair he gets to be uncomfortable too. 

_Sometimes you gotta bleed to know, that you’re alive and have a soul. But it takes someone to come around, to show you how._

I focused on the lyrics as I sped slightly, wanting to get out of the car and put some distance between myself and Lucifer. Why did he have to come ruin my day off? I had a book I wanted to read and some lemonade already made in the fridge that deserved my attention more than this did.

_She’s the tear in my heart, I’m alive. She’s the tear in my heart, I’m on fire. She’s the tear in my heart, take me higher, than I’ve ever been._

I had to admit the song was pretty catchy, I’d never heard it before but it seemed like something Trix might enjoy. I got onto the freeway, catching a glimpse of Lucifer’s annoyed face that made me want to turn the song up even louder. I set my attention on the road before me, knowing just how easily accidents happened on congested strips of road. After a few moments it cleared up a bit and I focused on the song once again now that the road didn’t require so much focus, even humming along to the chorus in hopes of further annoying Lucifer.

_My heart, is my armor. She’s the tear in my heart, she’s a carver. She’s a butcher with a smile, cut me farther, than I’ve ever been._

Surprisingly Lucifer remained silent for the last few minutes of the ride, I pulled into the lot and parked at an empty spot with more ease than I expected before he finally spoke up. “So, how did you enjoy the ride?” I didn’t miss the slight mischievous gleam in his eye as he asked, and I held in the ever growing urge to slap him upside the head in hopes that it would knock some sense into him.

“I’m sure it was the best one I’ll have all year,” I bit back as I turned the car off and handed the keys to the salesman sitting in the back seat. When I turned back to face Lucifer I was immediately met with a confused look that quickly morphed into the distrustful and hurt look as he put the pieces together. I might have felt some sympathy if it wasn’t for the fact that he relished in annoying me, after all, it’s only fair that I get to clap back with a few lines of my own from time to time.

“Someone’s salty,” Lucifer grumbled under his breath as he opened the passenger door and slipped out of the car with ease. I sighed as I unclipped my seatbelt and exited the car, the salesman following directly after me.

“So, how do we like the car?” The salesman asked as all three of us sort of gathered in the same spot. I noticed that he was looking to me for my answer first and I shrugged. I mean, it was cool and flashy and very luxurious, but it was a car and it could get me from point a to point b just as well as a Honda or a Chevy could.

“It’s nice,” I offered somewhat lamely. I just wasn’t into spending a hundred thousand dollars on a car. It seemed, well, prissy. There were much better, and much more helpful things that money could be going towards. “I’d prefer an automatic in all honesty.” The salesman turned to look to Lucifer for his answer, probably hoping for something a little more helpful than my two-cents. Lucifer stopped glaring at me long enough to glance over at the car salesman and answer his unspoken question.

“We’ll take the automatic one,” Lucifer stated before turning his gaze on me, his voice taking on almost a grudging tone as he spoke up once again. “Even if it is red.”

\---***---

It had been much easier than I expected to persuade Lucifer to take me to pick up Trixie, almost suspiciously easy. I tried to push away my concern as I waited outside the door to her classroom, with Lucifer’s reckless speeding we’d arrived nearly ten minutes early. I didn’t have to wait long for another parent to show up, Marie turned the corner just when I considered pulling my phone out of my pocket. Her face lit up with a smile as she waved at me. We weren’t great friends, but we talked during PTA meetings and occasionally when I dropped off Trixie or she dropped off Zack, she was a really sweet woman.

“Chloe, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you around,” She greeted me warmly before wrapping her arms around me in a hug. Her long dark hair tickled my face as I wrapped my arms around her large frame.

“I know, life’s just been kinda crazy lately,” I replied as we pulled away from each other. She gave me a small, understanding smile as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I know, right? Oh my God, Chloe,” Marie’s voice rose in pitch as she reached out to grab my hand. “Did you get engaged?” She questioned softly as she held my hand up closer to her face, turning it back and forth slightly in her hands so that the light glittered off the stones in my ring. It wasn’t the first time I’d gotten a reaction like this, my engagement ring was so big it was impossible to have it go unnoticed regardless of what I was doing.

“Oh, yeah. It’s a long story,” I answered as I pulled my hand from hers.

“Aww! I’m so happy for you! I bet he’s good-looking,” Marie chuckled as she nudged me with her elbow. Almost every time we talked she’d ask why I didn’t have a man in my life, then would go on to tell me that I could get anyone I wanted with my looks. Marie had always been good at flattery. “Speaking of good-looking men, did you see that hunk outside?” My eyebrows rose at her question, Marie had been married for ten years and the last I had heard her marriage was great.

“Is Matt not doing it for you anymore?” I questioned, my voice light and joking.

“I love Matt. But I have eyes, and that man was so hot I could’ve melted into a puddle at his feet,” Marie replied seriously and I couldn’t help but laugh. I’d never understand how it’s so easy for women to swoon over men so easily. I mean, I had Lucifer trying to get me into his bed and I wasn’t falling for it that easy, that was a feat in itself half the time.

“That good huh?”

“Don’t even get me started. He’s so tall, he had like that perfect five o'clock shadow. You know when you see someone’s hair and you can tell how unruly it must be when they get out of the shower? Like, if you ran your hands through it during sex it’d stay messed up for the rest of the day.” Marie began going into extreme detail and I had a feeling that I already knew exactly who she was talking about. “And on top of that, he was wearing a suit and leaning up against a Porsche. Do you know how loaded you have to be to own a Porsche?” I held back a small pang of jealousy that coursed through me even though I knew I had no right to feel it. It wasn’t like I actually had feelings for him, it was just annoying having women constantly swoon over my fiancé. “I should run out there and try to talk to him,” Marie trailed off as she looked at the floor with distant eyes. Seriously? She’s willing to risk her marriage with her husband for a one-night stand with Lucifer?

“I wouldn’t really suggest that,” I advised, my voice coming out rougher than I meant. She glanced up at me immediately interest shining in her eyes as she stared me down.

“You know him?” She asked, obviously awaiting some long drawn out explanation that I wasn’t about to give her.

“His name’s Lucifer,” I answered, I was going to leave it at that before she started smoothing her clothes out and fixing her hair, undoubtedly so that she’d look alright when she went to introduce herself to him. “And he’s the man who put this ring on my finger, so it’s safe to say we’re pretty well acquainted.” My voice came out slightly bitter even though that wasn’t what I’d been going for.

“I was fantasizing about your fiancé…” Marie trailed off as her eyes drifted down to the laminate under our feet. She stared at the floor for a few moments in silence before looking back up over to me. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I replied with a slight shrug of my shoulders. I still wasn’t sure why I kept getting jealous about stuff like this but I definitely wasn’t going to let it get between me and the mother of one of Trixie’s friends. We stood in comfortable silence for a few moments before Marie spoke up.

“Is he good?”

“What?” Confusion swept over me as I looked over at Marie only to see her staring back at me critically.

“Is he good in bed?” She questioned, her voice turning into a whisper towards the end. I shook my head at the question, my eyebrows drawing together. How was that any of her business?

“I don’t know,” I scoffed with no small amount of disgust tainting my voice.

“You haven’t slept with him yet,” Marie stated with slight amazement as she stared at me with wide eyes. “You should fix that, like tonight.” She stated with a shrug as she looked away from me and towards the classroom door. Her blatant suggestion caught me so off guard that I didn't even have time to form a coherent response before the school bell rang, and the hallway flooded with tiny bodies. 

“Hi mom!” Trixie greeted me happily as she exited her classroom. I knelt down so I could hug her properly, smiling into her hair as she snuggled into my arms.

“Hey monkey,” I greeted her lovingly as she pulled out of the hug, stepping back slightly. I tucked a loose bit of hair back behind her ear before speaking up once more. “How was school?”

“It was good. How was your surprise with Lucifer?”

“It was, something else,” I answered honestly as I stood all the way back up and took Trixie’s small hand in my own as we slowly started walking down the hallway towards the main entrance.

“Did you like it?” She questioned curiously as we picked our way through the small sea of children.

“It was alright, just not really what I would’ve picked,” I replied as we made it through the front door and started descending the steps. We had just barely reached the bottom of the stairs when Trixie caught sight of Lucifer, letting go of my hand and sprinting towards him. Part of me actually enjoyed watching Trixie get so excited every time she saw him, the other part of me was very well aware that she was already much too attached to him for her own good.

“Lucifer!” Trixie shouted happily as she closed more of the distance between the two of them. Lucifer looked up from the lighter in his hands, stiffening immediately as he saw Trixie hurtling towards him just before she slammed into him, pushing him back against the car hard enough to shake it slightly. I held back a laugh at how utterly horrified he looked as he glanced up at me for some sort of non-verbal cue on how to detach my daughter from his legs. I had to admit I did love how obviously uncomfortable Trixie made him.

“Ah, yes,” Lucifer began lamely as though he didn’t really know what to say before patting her on the top of the head twice before quickly pulling his hand away. “Hello again, tiny human.” Trixie pulled away at his awkward greeting.

“What did you do with mommy?”

“New car,” Lucifer answered as he gestured the firetruck red SUV he was leaning against.

“But I thought you liked your other one,” Trixie stated loudly as she ran her hand across the side of the Porsche.

“This isn’t for me. It’s for your Mum,” Lucifer explained. Trixie immediately broke into a huge smile, probably because she wasn’t the biggest fan of the Honda. Whenever we went on long trips she always complained about how the car started smelling funny, a result of her accidentally spilling chocolate milk on the carpet back when she was five. We’d never been able to get the smell all the way out.

“New car!” She squealed happily before opening the back door and jumping inside to undoubtedly explore.

“Why’d you tell her this is mine?” I questioned softly as I turned my attention back to Lucifer.

“It is.” He replied with a shrug before burying his hands in his pockets. I shook my head softly at his words. Earlier it had been the ‘family’ car, now it was suddenly my car. I knew this was going to happen, and it had been exactly the reason I had been so against him buying the damn thing in the first place. “Look, Chloe. I’ve never been good at expressing my feelings, and you’re going to be my wife in a few weeks, and…” Lucifer trailed off as he stared at the pavement under his feet for a moment as he ran a hand through his hair. I watched him carefully as he seemed to debate what words he should say next. I’d never seen him like this before and I had to admit I was incredibly curious about what he was going to say next, and what it was that led him to bring this up in the first place. “The only way I’ve even shown my…fondness, for others, is through sex. I don’t know anything else.” Seriously? What kind of demented childhood had he had that made sex seem like the only way to show you care about someone? “You’ve made it more than clear that you don’t want that yet.” He looked at me with hopeful eyes as he emphasized the ‘yet’ in his sentence. “So, I’m trying to show you my sentiments in a different way.” He stated seriously before gesturing to the Porsche with an open hand.

I shook my head softly at his words, my mind still reeling with attempts of trying to figure out his words as I held his unwavering gaze. “I thought you said you weren’t buying a car to try and buy my affections.” My voice came out slightly weaker than I expected. It was just, Lucifer acting nothing like his normal self was throwing me off.

“As I said before, I did this because we need it…And because I thought it might convey that I do hold you in high regards,” Lucifer answered as he took a small step forward. I swallowed heavily as I realized the possible gravity of his words, and for once I actually wished that he used more specific language. There were way too many meanings in that sentence for my liking.

“Why couldn’t you just tell me how you feel?” I questioned softly as bit into my lower lip. Lucifer’s eyes broke from mine for a moment as they drifted down to my lip that was very much so in danger of bleeding in the next few moments. His eyes met mine again just before he took another small step forward.

“Because…I,” Lucifer trailed off before glaring at the pavement once more. “Look, this isn’t about me.” He stated as he ran his hand through his hair once again. Marie had been correct in her observation of Lucifer’s hair, an errant curl already drooping down against his forehead. “This is about the fact that you’ve been acting apprehensive ever since we pulled into the car lot. And I just want to know why,” Lucifer stated as he stared me down once again. We stood there in silence having our little stare down as thoughts ran through my mind at a hundred miles an hour.

“I don’t like owing people stuff.” I managed to make my voice sound much stronger than I currently felt. I watched Lucifer’s expression grow confused before it turned into something softer that looked completely foreign on him.

“You think…” Lucifer trailed off just before his hands found my shoulders. Part of me wished he’d finished his sentence, I was genuinely curious as to what he thought I meant. “You owe me nothing,” Lucifer stated firmly, his eyes burning into my soul as he stared at me. I nodded, swallowing heavily as I held back what was dangerously close to turning into a choked sob. How was it possible that the man who claimed that he was the literal Devil had treated me better this last week than any of my previous ‘lovers’ ever had? “Other than your hand in marriage, of course. That was a deal,” Lucifer quipped, his voice growing playful once again as he gave me a sly smile, all of his previous somberness now gone. A bubbling laugh escaped my lips as I rolled my eyes even though I was secretly relieved at his ability to turn heavy subjects light with nothing more than a witty comment.

“Are you two done talking yet?” Trixie’s voice broke the silence that had just begun growing between Lucifer and I. I glanced over his shoulder to see her poking her head out of the car, watching us with no small amount of impatience. Lucifer turned at the sound of her voice, his hands leaving my shoulders as he made his way towards Trixie’s open door with long strides, closing it with a soft thud before opening the driver’s door.

“You coming darling?” He questioned and I nodded my head quickly before making my way to the passenger side. Pulling open my door and getting inside as I thought back over the entirely unexpected and almost affectionate moment we’d shared only moments ago. It was obvious that Lucifer wasn’t comfortable with his own emotions, but it seemed like he was legitimately trying to do what he could to make me happy. But why was he even bothering? He didn’t have to try to make me happy. He didn’t have to try to do anything at all and I’d still have to spend a year of my life with him. So why bother trying? Unless he was hoping that it wouldn’t end when the year did…‘As soon as our one-year anniversary rolls around you’re free to run down to the courthouse and file for divorce. That is if you even still want to by then. I’d be surprised if you’d want to give this up’. Lucifer’s words from the night we struck the deal echoing through my mind as I tried to solve this new riddle.

“Look mom! I got an A on my math test!” Trixie exclaimed loudly. I turned slightly in my seat to take the offered paper from her outstretched hand, 98% written in bold blue marker on the corner of the sheet along with a cute sticker of a cartoon flower saying ‘good job’. I smiled softly at the paper littered with simple addition and subtraction problems, only mildly aware of Lucifer glancing away from the road every few seconds to try and get a peak of the paper in my hand. I ignored him as I handed the paper back to Trixie, I knew once he figured out what it was he’d immediately lose interest.

“That’s great monkey!” I told Trixie as she took the page from my hand, stuffing it back into her backpack as I turned back to face the road. I glanced around the slightly unfamiliar surroundings before I realized we were in the wrong part of town. “Lucifer, you’re going the wrong way. I live on the opposite side of town,” I told him as we continued driving in the wrong direction.

“I’m not taking you home,” Lucifer replied, peeking at me out of the corner of his eyes before focusing on the road once again. I began growing irritated at him once again when he didn’t offer an explanation of where we were going, or how long we’d be gone, or anything that would tell me what’s going on.

“Where are you taking us then?”

“Patience, darling. You’ll find out soon enough,” Lucifer chuckled. How could one man be so damn frustrating? Part of me wanted to lean over the center console and strangle him. I huffed softly as I tapped my foot on the floor of the car, I could only imagine what else Lucifer had in store for the remainder for my evening. All I had wanted to do was go home; help Trix with her homework, and relax on the couch. But instead he was dragging me all over creation with only God knows what plans.

“Lucifer, can you put music on the radio?” Trixie asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between us all. Lucifer broke into laughter at the question, glancing up into his rearview mirror to look at Trixie.

“I’m not falling for that one again, nice try though.” He answered, his eyes drifting back to the road.

“Please, Lucifer?” Trix whined, her hand reaching up front to grab ahold of his shoulder as she tried to shake him.

“No.”

“Please? Pretty please?”

“Groveling will get you nowhere tiny human,” Lucifer stated firmly. I rolled my eyes at him yet again before tapping the car’s touchscreen a few times and turning up Trixie’s favorite station. He didn’t need to be a hard ass to my damn kid. If he wanted to get on my good side he’d treat her the way he attempted to treat me.

“Thank you, mom!” Trixie exclaimed as Lucifer looked over at me, shooting me a dirty look.

“I see how it is.” He grumbled quietly as he looked back at the road. I clenched my hands into fists and gritted my teeth as I forced myself to stare out my window in an attempt to calm myself down. Jesus, one minute he was practically making me have an emotional breakdown because he was being genuinely kind, the next he made me want to beat him to death with a blunt object. If he kept this up I’d be certifiably bi-polar in a month. I focused on watching the scenery pass as a took long deep breaths to calm myself down as I listened to Trixie hum along to the songs on the radio. Eventually, we pulled off the main road and into a large parking lot, the sign lining the side of the road alerting me to the fact that we’d just arrived at the Wilshire Country Club. Seriously? A country club? 

“Golf?” I questioned incredulously, as I glanced at Lucifer. “You’re taking us golfing?”

“Of course not, I can’t stand golf.” He scoffed as he pulled up to a huge metal gate blocking off the lush green fields rolled out in front of us. He honked the horn twice in quick succession, ten seconds passed with no results before I spoke up once more.

“Then what are we doing here?” I questioned as the gate in front of us began to pull open and the car began to move forward once more.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Lucifer replied softly. I pursed my lips as I glared at him. I kept my rage internal as the car slowly picked its way over small hills and divots as we made our way deeper into the well-manicured golf course. We began to crest a large hill when a beautiful view of the city filled the windshield, the metal and glass buildings glinted in the afternoon sun as we drove down the hill and onto the flat plateau below us. A large pond and some strategically placed trees dotted the otherwise empty stretch of grass, a decent distance from the pond I could see something set up on the grass but I couldn’t quite make it out from this far away.

As Lucifer drove the car towards whatever was set up in the distance I began to make out bits and pieces of it. There was one large blue bucket standing alone on the grass a few feet from what I could only describe as the clichéd movie portrayal of a classic picnic. Another half-dozen feet away from the picnic set up another large bucket, this one bright orange, sat right beside a few maintained pine trees.

“A picnic!” Trixie shouted before flinging open the door before the car had even come to a complete stop, she hit the ground running her backpack bouncing on her shoulder as she sprinted towards the stereotypical red and white plaid blanket laid out on the grass. Lucifer parked the car before turning to the radio, changing the station from the pop Trixie enjoyed so much to a soft alternative station. I sat in the car trying to overcome my surprise as Lucifer got out, leaving his door open and leaving the radio on. I had been expecting him to try and impress me with his wealth and status like he had at the car lot, I hadn’t been expecting something that I might actually enjoy. I pulled myself from my thoughts, taking a deep breath before getting out of the car and making my way around to the hood where Lucifer stood, slowly removing his jacket as he watched Trixie dig through a wicker basket.

“I just can’t believe…” I trailed off quietly as Trixie’s happy squeal drew my attention back to the picnic laid out before me, she already had most of the contents of the basket spilled out around her messily. How was this cocky, overzealous, man-child capable of setting up something this heartwarming? My eyes drifted back to Lucifer’s face as he watched me carefully. “You did this?” I questioned quietly even though I knew there was no other answer than yes.

“I had a few people who owed me favors arrange this.” He answered with a small smile and a shrug as his eyes found mine. I shook my head softly as I bit my lower lip, Lucifer had actually thought of someone other than himself long enough to scrape this together. It showed a side of him that I didn’t know existed.

“This just, doesn’t seem like you,” I stated quietly as Lucifer’s eyes began to take on that sort of soft expression I’d seen only once before, back when he proposed to me.

“Why not?” He questioned as he tilted his head slightly. It was a trait of his I was beginning to find a bit endearing. It reminded me of the videos on the internet of adorable, little, confused animals trying to figure things out. I smiled slightly as the thought before answering his question.

“It’s romantic and thoughtful.”

“You don’t think I’m capable of being romantic or thoughtful?” He questioned curiously as he leaned in a bit closer to me.

“It’s not that…” I trailed off before looking down at the grass under my feet for a moment. I toyed with the ring on my finger for a moment before drawing in a deep breath and looking up at Lucifer once again. “It’s just…I guess I don’t really know you,” I stated softly, my voice hardly more than a whisper as his eyes found mine once again. He let out a small half chuckle before taking a small step forward, closing almost all of the distance between us. I could feel the heat rolling off his body as he leaned down slightly, his eyes doing that thing that made the rest of the world sort of melt into the background and forced all of my attention on him.

“I’m trying to remedy that,” Lucifer murmured, as his eyes burned into mine like he could see right through me. Some small part of me wanted to lean up onto my tiptoes and find out how the stubble on his jaw would feel beneath my lips. I dug my fingernails into my palm at the thought, the slight jabbing pain in my hand serving to remind me what a horrible idea that would be.

How does he do this crazy magnetism thing? I didn’t have long to try to piece together an answer before a soft breeze blew across the open grass, only serving to waft his expensive cologne into my face. I had been expecting something crisp and clean, but instead I got something rich, and spicy, and smoky. His eyes flicked away from mine, down to my lips but the strange captivation that hung in the air between us didn’t dissipate at all.

“Are you trying your mind voodoo thing right now?” I questioned breathlessly as the breeze stopped, the clear air letting me get my mind together enough to ask the question.

“No,” Lucifer chuckled softly as his eyes drifted back up to mine for a moment before a small excited smile covered his face. “Why?” He questioned, his voice giving away too much enthusiasm for his own good. I shook my head softly at him as the almost hypnotic feeling around me began to disappear. I opened my mouth to make an excuse when Trixie’s loud voice broke through the air.

“Mom! Come look!” I turned away from Lucifer to see her sitting on the blanket, food stacked up in mounds around her. I smiled at the sight before glancing at Lucifer next to me and offering him a shrug for an answer before making my way across the grass towards my daughter. Why did Lucifer have someone bring so much food? Trixie smiled up at me as I stood in front of her and I couldn’t help but laugh a little at the sight of food piled up almost to her shoulder as she sat on the edge of the blanket.

“Not bad.” I practically jumped at the sound of Lucifer’s voice behind me, it was unsettling how quietly the man could get around.

“What’s that?” Trixie questioned happily as I turned around to see what she was asking about.

“Champagne,” Lucifer answered simply before pulling the protective foil from the very top of the bottle. It was a brand I’d never seen on the shelves of a grocery store, which I was sure meant that it was far above my price range despite the fact that it only ranked as ‘not bad’ in Lucifer’s book.

“Can I have some?” Trixie questioned and Lucifer looked down at her for a moment before looking up at me. It took me a moment to realize that he was looking to me for guidance. Seriously? I shook my head at him as my eyebrows drew together. I could tell he wasn’t used to children but really? He didn’t know better than to give alcohol to a seven-year-old?

“I’m afraid not,” Lucifer stated as he bent down to pick up a glass bottle with chunks of strawberries floating in it. “Here.” He offered as he shoved the glass into her hands. I watched Trixie try to twist the metal cap off a few times before she finally accepted defeat, her shoulders slumping as she stared down at the drink in her hands.

“I can’t open it,” Trixie whined as she held the bottle out towards Lucifer. He stared down at her for a long moment before he rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh as he put the Champagne down. Lucifer sat down on the quilt next to her before taking the offered bottle and twisting the top off with ease before handing it back over to her. I couldn’t help but smile at the simple interaction between the two of them, they were adorable together.

“Why did you do this?” I questioned as Lucifer looked up at me.

“I thought you would like it.” He replied with ease as he leaned back, bracing his hands behind his body to hold himself up. “Was I wrong?” He questioned as he tilted his head ever so slightly and his eyebrows drew together.

“No, it’s amazing.” I answered a genuine smile filling my face as I looked around the perfectly manicured landscape. It was amazing. I’d never had anyone put this much effort into planning a date before, everyone I’d ever gone out with had just taken me to the movies, or dinner, or a bar. This wasn’t even as extravagant as some of those dates I’d been on, yet it meant so much more. Maybe the next year wouldn’t be complete Hell.

“Mom! Look at all this cool food!” I glanced down at Trixie to see her holding out a plainly wrapped, white, and slightly lumpy rectangle out towards me. I took it from her, turning it in my hands until I found where it was labeled with black marker.

“Brie, Bacon and Apricot Grilled Cheese,” I read aloud, just before Trixie was stuffing another plainly wrapped package into my hands. “Almond and poppy seed chicken salad croissant sandwich.” I glanced over at Lucifer only to see him watching me with a satisfied smile. I shook my head softly at how over-the-top this was when Trixie held out a thin cardboard box, I took it from her hands as I glanced down at the top of it. “Smoked salmon deviled eggs.” I glanced at Lucifer once again only to see his face grow excited.

“Oh, those are spectacular,” He stated as he leaned forward before snatching the box from my hands and opening it up. “Want one?” He questioned as he held the opened box out towards me. I shook my head softly as my mouth fell open, he shrugged at my reaction resting the box in his lap just before Trixie grabbed one and popped it into her mouth. She had just started chewing when a disgusted look crossed her face, she swallowed forcibly before looking over at Lucifer.

“Eww.” Lucifer looked absolutely offended by her reaction. Leaning away from her as he eyed her like she was some barbarian child.

“You little Philistine,” Lucifer gasped as he stared her down before crossing his arms over his chest.

“They’re gross,” Trixie defended.

“You’re gross,” Lucifer stated petulantly as he glared at her. I watched anger flash across Trixie’s face as she leaned in closer to him.

“You’re more gross.” I broke into laughter at her comeback. I didn’t exactly approve of Lucifer calling my daughter gross, but I had to admit that their little squabble was one of the funniest things I’d seen today. I finally got ahold of myself, looking back over at the two of them only to see them both staring at me. It only took Trixie a moment after I’d stopped laughing before she was handing me another cardboard box.

“Chocolate dipped strawberries,” I read aloud as I looked down at the box in my hands. “What did you do to earn a favor like this?” I questioned as I turned my attention back to Lucifer only to see him picking a wrapped sandwich from the pile next to Trixie.

“I fronted someone the cash to open a café,” Lucifer replied as he began to open the paper encompassing the food. “They’re actually doing quite well now.” He explained as he finished unwrapping the paper, smoothing it out before him as he picked up a croissant sandwich. “Are you going to eat?” He questioned just before taking a bite of his sandwich. I shook my head softly before sitting down between him and Trixie. The cash front explained all the fancy, free food, but it didn’t explain the picnic or the golf course. But then again this was Lucifer, I fully knew just how capable he was of persuading people to do the things he wanted.

If it wasn’t for the soft music still pouring out of the Porsche behind us and the occasional birdcall it would have been silent as I picked out a clear plastic bowl filled with chunks of strawberry and watermelon. I leaned forward to look for some cutlery when Lucifer handed me a plastic fork, I took it from him with a small smile as our fingers accidentally brushed. I ignored the accidental contact as I pried the plastic lid from the bowl and stabbed a chunk of watermelon with a fork. I was just about to pop it into my mouth when suddenly Lucifer was pouring something golden out of a small plastic ramekin over the top of my fruit.

“What are you doing?” I questioned as I attempted, and failed to pull my food away.

“Trust me.” I rolled my eyes at the statement as he leaned away. I shot him a quick glare for a moment before taking a bite of the fruit salad, relishing in the taste for a moment before I realized that Lucifer was watching me for my reaction.

“This is really good,” I admitted before taking another small bite. Lucifer smiled at the statement before reaching out towards the basket and pulling out two champagne flutes. He grabbed the champagne bottle and popped the cork from the top of the bottle with ease before pouring each of us a generous glass.

“I told you,” Lucifer replied as he handed me a flute, I reached out to take it from him when our hands met once again. This time lingering as my eyes slowly drifted up to meet his own, and all of the sudden that almost suffocating heat was there again even though it was a nice cool, breezy day.

“Lucifer,” Trixie spoke up, dragging his attention and his eyes away from me. I pulled the glass away from him as I turned to focus on my food once again, the temperature slowly dropped back down to normal. Was he really sick earlier? Did he get me sick? Is that where all these damn heatwaves keep coming from? “What was your favorite subject in school?” Trixie’s question pulled me from my internal worrying as I took a sip of champagne.

“What?” Lucifer questioned, sounding legitimately confused.

“Like, did you prefer math or science or English?” Trixie explained.

“I didn’t go to school,” Lucifer answered and I almost choked on my bite of strawberry.

“Like ever?” Trixie questioned, sounding just as surprised as I felt.

“Like ever.”

“Who taught you stuff then?” I was wondering the same thing honestly. He had to have been homeschooled then right?

“In the beginning, mostly my father. But that didn’t really last long before he lost interest in the lot of us.” The way his tone grew incredibly grudging towards the end didn’t pass me by. So, Lucifer has some daddy issues it seems. But how bad could it have been? What could his dad have possibly done to warrant so much resentment? I mean, it was obvious that he thought highly of the man since he seemed to relate him to God, so what had he done that was so bad?

“So which one did you like the most?” Trixie questioned, ignoring the way Lucifer talked about his father in favor of figuring out what his favorite subject had been.

“Hmm, oh uh…Science I guess,” He answered with a shrug.

“Did you ever have to do a science project?”

“A what?” Lucifer questioned, once again sounding completely confused. His reaction made me wonder how different things must be across the pond.

“You know, like an experiment that you present to people,” Trixie explained with ease. Clearly not caring how little Lucifer understood.

“I made the stars. Does that count?” Lucifer questioned as he watched Trixie curiously. I rolled my eyes at the statement. He couldn’t keep telling Trixie stuff like that, she was already convinced that he was the Devil despite that fact that he ‘isn’t scary’. I didn’t need him filling her head with any more ridiculous notions. 

“You made the stars?! I thought God made the stars!” Trixie squealed with delight and I couldn’t help but bury my face in my hands.

“As if he had the time or the drive,” Lucifer scoffed, his voice laced with disdain. “Or the passion.” He continued his little rant when I decided to speak up.

“You really need to stop telling her stuff like that.”

“She asked a question. I answered it,” Lucifer defended himself and I rolled my eyes. Of course he wasn’t going to accept that he was the one in the wrong. I ignored the statement as I focused on finishing my fruit salad. I wasn’t about to turn this into a fight, definitely not in front of Trixie.

Lucifer and Trixie continued talking as though I’d never protested any of it. Trixie went on to ask Lucifer if he had any siblings. And apparently he had quite a few, he easily listed off seven names before he decided he was tired of bringing them all up. I quickly learned that when he had been a child his favorite sibling had been his twin brother Michael, but when Trixie asked if they still talked Lucifer quickly explained how the last time they ran into each other they wound up beating each other half to death.

Then Trixie went on to ask him how many girlfriends he’d had, I was dreading his answer regardless of whether the number was going to be high or low. But when he had Trixie define girlfriend as someone you saw for at least a week and you agreed to kiss nobody but them his answer was that he’d never had one. I scoffed at his answer, Trixie’s definition of girlfriend had been one of the most relaxed standards ever and he’d never even managed that. And of course, Trixie had to say that since Lucifer had me now he’d never have to worry about finding one ever again. I was thankful when she finally grew tired of talking and eating, grabbing a chocolate strawberry from the box before running off to explore near the bend of the pond. I glanced over at the small pile of wrappers sitting in front of Lucifer, laughing a little at the sight. 

“How can you eat so much?”

“Immortal metabolism,” Lucifer answered, his face and voice serious. I rolled my eyes at his answer as I glanced over at Trixie who was wandering further away.

“Trix! Don’t go running off too far!” I yelled at her, she turned to look at me, waving before making her way further down the shore.

“She’ll be fine,” Lucifer stated as he nudged my side playfully. I glanced over at him our eyes meeting once again.

“Is this a date?” I questioned softly as I stared at him.

“Does it seem like a date to you?” He answered my question with one of his own as he gave me a toothy grin before lifting his champagne glass to his lips, taking a small sip.

“Yeah. A surprise picnic kinda screams ‘romantic date night’” I answered, using my hands to make air quotes. We both broke into laughter for a moment as Lucifer smiled down at the glass in his hands.

“Well then, there’s your answer,” Lucifer replied with a small smile as his eyes met mine once more. What am I going to do with him? I wondered as we sat there quietly, staring at each other for a long moment. I lifted my glass to my lips before taking another sip of champagne.

“You are a mystery,” I told him seriously as I watched him. He chuckled softly at my statement as his eyes drifted down to his glass for a moment before flicking back up to mine.

“Now you know how I feel.” I smiled softly at the response as Lucifer looked away, his eyes focusing on the glass skyscrapers in the distance. I looked over towards Trixie who was still picking her way along the edge of the pond, another slight breeze blew across the field making goosebumps prick on my skin from the slight chill. I leaned into Lucifer’s side almost unconsciously as I sought out his warmth, his arm wrapping around me a moment later. I considered pulling away for a moment but decided against it, he is warm after all and Trixie is here so chances are he isn’t going to try to make any sexual advances. I chose to relax into his side as I took another sip of my drink, focusing on the view before us and the soft melody flowing out of the car.

_Cause I got issues, but you got ‘em too. So give them all to me, and I’ll give mine to you. Bask in the glory, of all our problems. Cause we got the kind of love it takes to solve ‘em. Yeah I got issues, and one of them is how bad I need you._

“You okay?” I questioned as I glanced over at Lucifer, he’d never been silent for this long before without me telling him to shut up.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asked softly as he turned to look at me. 

“I usually can’t get you to shut up. You’re just being quiet,” I answered with a shrug before sipping from my glass once again. Lucifer opened his mouth to say something just when Trixie came running up to us, pulling our attention over to her.

“I caught a frog!” She exclaimed happily as she held out a gigantic lumpy amphibian that she had to hold with both hands. Lucifer removed his arm from my side as he gestured to the creature with his champagne flute.

“That’s a toad.” He corrected, sounding almost bored before taking a long drink.

“His name is Alfie!” Trixie stated happily as she ignored Lucifer’s comment. “Mom, you have to kiss him so he’ll turn into a prince!”

“No,” I replied immediately as I leaned away from the toad in her hands. I wasn’t about to kiss the lumpy slimy thing. I mean, I’d touch it or hold it if she asked, but I drew the line at toad-to-mouth contact. 

“Yes! You have to!” Trixie tried to reinforce the thought as she held the toad closer to me. I shrunk away slightly as she pushed it closer to me.

“No I don’t!” I exclaimed when she took a step forward, pushing the creature dangerously close to my face. I didn’t really think my words through as I grabbed Lucifer by the shoulders, pulling him between the toad and myself, “I already have a prince!”. I knew the second the words crossed my lips I was in trouble; and when Lucifer turned his head to glance over his shoulder at me, his eyes alight with mischief and a coy grin on his face as he licked his lips I realized that I would never hear the end of this.

“Oh…right.” Trixie’s deflated voice drew his attention away from me. Trixie dropped the toad as she turned on her heel and began running away. The creature fell onto Lucifer’s leg with a wet squishy sound, bouncing off and landing on the quilt upside down, it’s short little legs churning against the air as it attempted to roll over. 

“Ugh,” Lucifer sighed heavily as he pulled away from my grip on his shoulders, burying his face in one of his hands as he drew in a long deep breath. He pulled his hand from his face staring down at the toad for a long moment before setting his glass down and picking up the animal, flipping it over onto its feet. I watched the toad turn around to face him, watching him for a long moment before ribbiting loudly. “What are you looking at? Go on, get,” Lucifer told the animal as he picked up his glass and took a drink. The toad ribbited one more time before slowly turning its fat little body and jumping off, landing on Lucifer’s leg once again where it’s short legs scrambled for purchase against his slacks before pulling itself up. It sat there for a moment before jumping off, landing on the grass ungracefully before slowly shambling off.

“Lucifer Morningstar, toad whisperer,” I chuckled softly as I watched the creature disappear into the thicker grass. I glanced over at him to see him watching me even though he didn’t respond. “It takes one to know one, right?” I questioned as my smile grew. Lucifer rolled his eyes at my joke, downing the rest of his glass with ease before pouring himself a second one.

“If I recall correctly, just a moment ago I was a prince,” Lucifer quipped before flashing me a trademark grin. “Princess of Darkness doesn't seem to suit you too well…” Lucifer trailed off as he looked me over, his lips pursing into a thin line. “I guess you’ll just have to go with Queen of Hell.” He paused for a moment as though considering something serious. “Or Beelze-babe.” He broke into laughter at the statement, managing to get a handle on himself after a few seconds.

I rolled my eyes at his nonsensical ramblings. “Why don't we just try Mrs. Decker-Morningstar,” I said sarcastically, earning a genuinely excited smile from him. “I didn’t peg you for an animal person.” I purposely changed the subject back to Trixie’s now long forgotten amphibious friend. Lucifer shrugged at my statement, taking another sip of Champagne.

“The wild ones are fine, the domesticated ones are much too helpless and dependent for my liking.” Lucifer explained as he set his glass down at his side. I immediately saw an opportunity and I decided to take it.

“That’s too bad because Trixie has a hamster,” I replied as I struggled to keep a straight face. Lucifer apparently couldn't tell that I wasn't serious because his shoulders sagged immediately and he let out a small almost defeated sounding noise. It was the look on his face that made me break into laughter though, the utter disappointment and regret in his eyes pushing me over the edge. “I’m joking,” I offered as I jabbed his ribs with my elbow as I struggled to catch my breath. Lucifer’s face flooded with relief momentarily before he gave me a look that I couldn't quite identify.

“You little minx!” Lucifer shouted playfully as he shoved me gently, pushing me over slightly and causing some champagne to slosh out of my glass onto the quilt. It took me a minute to compose myself, gulping for air as my lungs burned. “I should punish you for that,” Lucifer grumbled as he shot me a dirty look.

“Yeah?” I laughed softly as I righted myself, reaching forward to open up the box of chocolate covered strawberries. “Good luck with that,” I offered as I shot Lucifer a smirk as I started to pick up one of the berries. “Hey!” Lucifer grabbed the box and pulled it out of my reach just before I could grab a berry. I struggled to reach around him to grab the box, but Lucifer just held it further out of my grasp taunting me with my powerlessness. 

“These are mine now, penance for your sins,” Lucifer mocked as he pushed me away with his free arm. 

“Give those back!” I complained loudly and I tried to push his arm away. Damn man, taking my food. I’d earned a God forsaken chocolate strawberry for putting up with him all day today. “Lucifer!” 

“I’m adoring the way it sounds when you scream my name darling,” Lucifer chuckled, his voice dripping with sensuality as his eyes grew lustful. I narrowed my eyes at him as I gave up fighting for the berries, sitting back with an annoyed huff. I sat there grudgingly as Lucifer pulled one of the berries from the box, inspecting it teasingly before taking a bite. I couldn’t help but look at him when he let out a small moan, his eyes drifting shut as he chewed slowly. When he took his second bite he let out a longer, deeper groan. He gave a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘food porn’. Lucifer opened his eyes as he swallowed, our eyes meeting immediately. He took another bite as he held eye contact, letting out another small breathy moan as his eyelids fluttered shut. Fine, this was how he wanted to be? Two could play this game.

“Lucifer,” I began with a small, repentant voice as I reached out a hand to rest it on his thigh. “I’m sorry,” I said softly as I squeezed his thigh under my hand. My actions got his attention immediately as he opened his eyes to look at me, glancing down at his leg before looking up at me as though he was trying to figure out if I was actually touching him on my own volition. 

“Are you?” He questioned curiously as he wetted his lower lip with his tongue before placing his half-eaten berry down in the box, forgetting about it as he focused on me.

“Yeah,” I replied as I nibbled on my lower lip playfully. I had to hold back a smile when his eyes drifted down to my lips. I quickly noticed the chocolate that had melted onto his fingertips and an evil idea popped into my mind. “I really want to make it up to you,” I whispered softly as I pulled my hand from his leg, grabbing his hand and pulling it over towards me. I brought his hand up to my mouth as I looked up at him through my eyelashes, licking the chocolate off the pad of his index finger. He let out a deep rumbling moan as his eyes grew visibly darker. I pulled his finger from my tongue, dragging it slowly down my lower lip and then my chin.

“You know what they say about tempting the Devil, darling,” Lucifer said quietly, his voice deep as raspy as his eyes met mine.

“What do they say about it?” I questioned coyly as I let go of his hand, letting it drift back down onto his lap. I leaned in slightly closer to him before dragging my fingers from just under his ear, all the way down his neck to his collarbone. My other hand coming up to his face as I traced his stubble lined jaw, enjoying the prickliness of the tiny hairs under my fingertips. I pulled my hands from his face and neck as I leaned in closer to him, his eyes focused on my lips and not on my hand that was reaching over him to grab the box. Lucifer leaned in closer as I did, closing most of the distance between us as he parted his lips in anticipation. Our breath mingled for a moment just before I got a grip on the box. I stood up immediately, leaving Lucifer hanging as I took a few steps backward. He looked up at me with confusion at first until I pulled a berry from the box and bit into it, letting out a playful little moan just like he had been doing earlier. 

A look of pure indignation crossed his face as I laughed softly. “You…” He trailed off as he shook his head. I laughed even harder at his lack of words before taking another bite. “Damn woman is going to be the end of me,” Lucifer muttered under his breath as he glared at the quilt under him, refusing to look up at me. Well, now I’d done it. I’d wounded his pride and now he had to sulk for probably the next half hour. I wasn’t sure why I always got such a little rush out of teasing him, but I had to admit it was incredibly fun. 

“Mom! Come look at what I found!” I looked over at Trixie as she called me, waving me over as she stood next to the bright orange bucket that I’d noticed when we pulled up. I placed the box of berries down on the edge of the quilt furthest away from Lucifer before making my way over to her. What was she so excited about?

“What is it monkey?” I questioned as I neared her as she stared down into the bucket with a huge smile. 

“Water balloons!” Trixie exclaimed happily and I couldn’t help the confusion that swept over me.

“Water balloons?” I questioned as I finally got close enough to look into the bucket. Sure enough, it was filled almost to the brim with a bright assortment of water balloons, but these had to be for someone else. There was no way Lucifer had this set up too, I couldn’t imagine him wanting to get wet, especially not in his expensive suits. “Why—” I was cut short as I felt a soft pressure against my side just before a popping noise filled the air and icy water streamed down my body. I froze in place for a moment as I drew in a long breath, turning to see Lucifer standing a half dozen feet away with another water balloon in hand and a shit-eating grin on his face.

“You did not,” I growled as I glared at him. Only causing him to smile even wider as he tossed his water balloon in the air a few times before catching it with ease each time. 

“Lovely choice of shirt today,” Lucifer chuckled and I looked down at myself to see that where the water balloon had popped my white shirt was now completely see-through and clinging to my body. I looked back up at him slowly as I felt rage burn through me. I’m going to kill him, he’s going to die on this damn golf course today.

“Water balloon fight!” Trixie squealed happily before grabbing two balloons from the bucket and running towards Lucifer. She threw both of them at him in quick succession and missed both times, the balloons falling short and landing at his feet where they popped. He looked down at the splashed hems of his pants before throwing his second balloon at Trixie and hitting her shoulder. She squealed as it popped, running back to the bucket to grab two more before sprinting towards Lucifer again. I laughed at the sight as Lucifer retreated, running back towards the blue bucket near the car to undoubtedly restock on ‘ammunition’. 

I joined in a moment later, grabbing a few balloons for myself before launching them at Lucifer. It quickly became apparent that Lucifer was a much better aim than either me or my daughter though, together we only hit him half as often as he pegged one of us. I lost myself in the moment as I forgot about getting revenge on Lucifer and focused on enjoying the time we had left here. Our water balloon fight went on for a while, chucking balloons at each other, yelping when they hit us and laughing when we got a hit in. It wasn’t long before Trixie and I were both completely drenched, while Lucifer was only wet on a few patches of his body. Finally, Trixie got the idea to put a bunch of water balloons in her shirt before attacking Lucifer with a hug, effectively drenching the entire lower half of his body with her kamikaze attack. Their combined laughter filling the air moments later. I went to pick up more balloons when I realized just how dangerously low we were, I needed to make these next two really count.

Lucifer managed to get a few good hits in on me as I approached him. I decided to take a shot when I got close enough, managing to hit him in the stomach. I got within a few feet of him before winding up for another throw, before I could let go of the balloon though he grabbed my forearm to stop me. I glared up at him for a moment as he stood inches away from me smiling down at me cockily. I flicked my wrist as hard as I could manage, throwing the balloon at his face where it popped. He blinked water from his eyes for a moment before his eyes met mine and he broke into laughter. I couldn’t help but laugh with him, struggling for air as a few tears leaked out of my eyes. He let go of my forearm when I least expected it and I stumbled into him clumsily, pushing him over as I fell on top of him with a loud thud. 

I tried to push myself off of him for a moment, my hands slipping on the now muddy ground. Lucifer’s eyes met mine a moment later and I was suddenly acutely aware of the feeling of him under me. A slight breeze came again, chilling me to the bone now that I was wet, and only making Lucifer’s warmth against my body that much more exaggerated. Lucifer moved slowly beneath me, one of his large, warm hands splaying out across my lower back as he held me against himself. I swallowed softly as I tried to get a grip on the world around me, but the only thing my brain was registering was the music pouring out of the Porsche a few feet away from us.

_And I don’t want the world to see me, cause I don’t think that they’d understand._

Lucifer’s other hand came up slowly, brushing softly against my cheek and jaw before sliding slowly across my face. His fingers tangling in my damp hair as his palm rested against my cheek. I bit my lip as I tried to remind myself that this was Lucifer and I shouldn’t be letting myself get this close to him, but damn; he was right there, and so warm, and hopeful looking. 

_When everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am._

I watched as his eyes drifted down to my lips and I couldn’t help it when my eyes drifted down to his in turn. I drew in a deep breath as I tried to get a hold of myself. Don't do this. This is Lucifer. Everything is a bad idea with Lucifer. I forced myself to drag my eyes back up to his. “You’re getting muddy,” I whispered softly in a half-assed attempt to get him to break the moment. I knew I shouldn’t kiss him, but why did part of me want to so damn badly?

“I couldn’t care less,” Lucifer breathed, his eyes meeting mine for a brief moment before flicking back down to my lips. How bad could it really be if I just kissed him? I mean, we are engaged and it would be so easy to lean down just a little bit...Fuck it. I began to lean in closer slowly, Lucifer taking my cue and leaning up ever so slightly.

“Mommy! We’re out of balloons!” I flinched slightly as Trixie’s voice broke the moment, immediately dragging me from the slight haze I’d been in as I pulled away from Lucifer. He let out a long breath that I hadn’t even noticed he’d been holding in as he flopped back down onto the muddy ground, pulling his hands from my body before glaring at the sky above us. I pushed myself off of him, sitting down on the grass next to him as I looked over at Trixie who was watching us curiously.

“That’s okay! I think we have a truce,” I told her as I wiped the mud from my hands on the grass under me and tried to forget about what had just happened between Lucifer and I. I should be glad that Trixie stopped me when she did, she just saved me from something that I was sure would have turned into a massive headache. I glanced over at Lucifer to watch him run a hand through his hair frustratedly before sitting up, revealing the back of his blue shirt to now be mostly brown from mud. Another breeze came and I shivered involuntarily at the cold seeping into my whole body, perhaps a water balloon fight hadn’t been the best idea.

“Cold?” I glanced over at Lucifer when he asked and I tried not to laugh at the state he was in. His fancy clothes plastered to his skin and his whole backside covered in mud, his hair half-styled and half-crazy curls, he looked like he’d just ran through a war zone.

“I’ll be fine,” I replied with ease as I looked over at Trixie who was helping herself to the chocolate strawberries. I paid little attention to Lucifer when he stood up and made his way over to the car, it wasn’t until he came back that I looked up at him.

“Here.” He offered as he held out his suit jacket for me. I stood up carefully so as not to slip in the patch of mud right beside me. Lucifer slipped his jacket around my shoulders, the heat from it resting in the sun warming me immediately. I pushed my arms into the sleeves as I tried to get the most warmth out of it. 

“Thanks,” I offered as I buttoned it up before turning around only to be met with one of Lucifer’s hungry smiles as his eyes surveyed my body. “What?” 

“Just admiring the way you look in my clothes.” He answered as his eyes drifted back up to my own.

“Why do men like that?” I questioned as my eyebrows drew together.

“I can’t speak for all men, I just enjoy seeing the size difference,” Lucifer answered with a shrug as he began looking over my body once again. “You’re quite small aren’t you? Perhaps I should start calling you the tiny human.” He quipped playfully as he looked back up at me. I fingered the hem of his coat sleeves as I rolled my eyes. Of course I was going to look small in his clothes, he was almost a foot taller than me and probably weighed twice what I did. 

“I may be smaller than you, but I can still kick your ass,” I replied as I crossed my arms in front of my chest. He chuckled at my statement for a moment before patting my shoulder.

“I don’t doubt that.” He replied as he turned away and walked off towards Trixie. I shook my head as I watched him sit down next to her as they started talking some more. Am I ever going to figure him out? What in the hell am I going to do with him for a whole year? But most importantly, how am I going to get through this without letting myself feel something that I shouldn’t?

\---***---

“What is that?” My father’s angry voice broke through the house as soon as the three of us stepped inside. He stomped into the foyer a moment later, pushing past us to swing open the door and point at the red Porsche parked in his driveway.

“A car?” Lucifer questioned sarcastically as he goaded my father. I groaned internally at what I knew was going to turn into a long, drawn out argument between the two of them. Could they not jump at each other's throats for five Goddamn seconds?

“You know that’s not what I meant,” My father stated blandly as he glared at Lucifer, slamming the door shut hard enough to shake the front windows. 

“Isn’t it cool grandpa! Lucifer bought mom a new car today! It’s so cool!” Trixie explained as she tugged on his hand before running off down the hallway, the sound of her running upstairs filling the house.

“You let him buy you a car?” I turned to face my dad as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared me down with a look of disappointment. “And why are you wearing his clothes?” He asked a moment later, and I looked down at the oversized black suit jacket clinging to my still damp body. I flung my hands in the air in defeat as I pursed my lips, I was too tired for this crap after everything that had happened today.

“The pink slip is in both our names. It’s our family car,” Lucifer spoke up for me, drawing my dad’s attention over to him. “And the insurance has been paid in full for the year, so it’s not going anywhere.”. My father glared at him for a moment and was undoubtedly going to insult him in some way when my mother walked into the room, her eyes lighting up as they fell on Lucifer and I. 

“Chloe, I’ve heard someone’s been spoiling you! You better show me your new toy!” My mother exclaimed as she pushed my father aside to try and hug Lucifer, who surprisingly kept her at an arm’s distance. 

“It’s not my new toy mom. It’s Lucifer’s car too,” I explained impatiently, earning an eye roll from my mother. “And when we get our divorce Lucifer will be keeping it,” I said quietly in case Trixie was in one of the adjoining rooms. 

“I don’t want it.” I turned to look over at Lucifer as he spoke up, looking down at me like I was crazy for expecting him to take what’s his.

“Then why did you buy it?” I practically growled as I stared him down.

“Because we’re going to need it throughout the next year. But if you're gone I won’t have any real use for it. I’d rather drive the Corvette than that thing if I don’t need the extra seating.” He explained much more loudly that I would have preferred. 

“Why would you choose an old Corvette over a new Porsche?”

“He got you a Porsche!?” My mother exclaimed excitedly as she pushed past the both of us to open the front door. I ignored her over-the-top reaction as I waited for Lucifer’s answer.

“I like going topless. Wind in your hair and all that.” Of course he wanted a car with the singular feature that the Porsche didn’t have. “If you leave it with me it’ll just sit somewhere collecting dust until I get around to selling it, I’d prefer if you took it just to get it out of Lux’s parking garage.” I rolled my eyes at his explanation. Who would’ve thought that it would be so hard to persuade someone to keep a brand new car? “Besides, don’t you prefer it to that Honda?” I ignored his last question on purpose. Of course I preferred it to the Honda, but I’d gotten the Honda through my own hard work, not just because someone dropped it in my lap.

“Look, we’ll talk more about this later,” I stated gruffly as I grabbed Lucifer by the shoulder and turned him towards the door before walking him outside where my mother was swooning over the new car. I let go of Lucifer and he turned to look at me before reaching into his pants pockets. Great, what does he have to give me now? I wondered as he pulled some sort of card out of his pocket.

“Here. You’ll be needing this.” He offered as he held out the thick manilla and pink card out towards me. “It’s still a little damp.” He warned as I pulled it from between his fingers. On the front in a bold script was the name Natalie Schaffer, under it was a phone number but nothing that keyed me into what this was supposed to be for. I flipped it over only to see a date and time scribbled on the back with black marker that had bled when the card got wet.

“What’s this for?” I questioned as I looked up at Lucifer.

“Our appointment with our wedding planner.” He answered simply as my mother walked over to us, probably wanting to listen in on our conversation.

“You got us a wedding planner?” I questioned speculatively as I ignored my mother. I honestly thought Lucifer was just going to set everything up on his own and then pop into my house one day wearing a tuxedo, the thought seemed laughable now that I was staring down at the thick business card in my hand.

“Of course I did. I’ve never planned a wedding before,” Lucifer answered easily. What had I been expecting? This was the man that my daughter had to explain science projects too, of course he wouldn’t have the slightest clue of the first step to take in planning a wedding. I didn’t say anything for long enough that Lucifer felt the need to speak up once again. “You’ll be there?” He questioned gently as he rested his hand against my upper arm, watching me patiently as he waited for my answer. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to an appointment with a wedding planner but I doubted I’d be able to get out of it if Lucifer had a say in anything.

“I’ll make sure she goes,” My mother spoke up as she closed the rest of the distance between us. I scoffed under my breath as she jumped into the private conversation. Now that my mom knew, there was no way I could get out of the appointment. I’d never hear the end of it if I did. Lucifer dropped his hand from my arm as he smiled over at my mother before offering me a quick wink.

“I’ll see you in a few days then darling.” I rolled my eyes and sighed as he turned and walked away to his Corvette sitting in the driveway. I’d been sitting at the salesman’s desk when he requested to have his car delivered to my address, and of course because it was Lucifer all it took was a little persuasion to get what he wanted. He’d already started the car and managed a three point turn when I remembered his jacket still wrapped around my shoulders.

“Lucifer, I still have your coat,” I yelled over the rumble of the Corvette’s engine as he slowly came to a stop in front of my mother and I. He smiled softly as his eyes drifted across my body appreciatively once more, and I had no doubt that he was thoroughly enjoying the visual reference to our ‘size difference’ as he had called it earlier. 

“I’ll get it back eventually.” He replied simply before pulling away, disappearing down the street just as quickly as he’d disappear from my life as soon as this year was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that completes the first installment of this series! **Public Service Announcement:** The second installment is now out, you can find it by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10438284/chapters/23047224), or by clicking _next work_ under _Series this work belongs to_ at the end of the chapter. For anyone who wants to make sure they get notified whenever a new installment or chapter comes out I'd suggest following or subscribing to the series.


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